Harassed husband - My wife has been beating/abusing me almost every day since last seven years what shuld Ido?

Question

I am 45 yr this is my second marriage.I got married 7 yr back.I am highly qualified well placed professional.My wife is 43 yr, qualified , house wife also divorcee. We do not have kids.From the third day of our marriage my wife has been been very harsh to me,she has beaten me number of times with in the walls of our home, in the public places and in the running car. She has abused me in all possible filthy words. She has leveled all possible allegations against me.We live alone and no interference from any family members but she feels that I am influenced by my elder sister.I spoke to my wife's mother twice but no change in her behavior. I told my wife's brother and sister regarding this ill treatment but no help. But they are not aware that she has been beaten me number of times.My wife repeatedly tells me that if i share this problem with any body in that case she will commit suicide . I can say that her corrector is worse than the corrector of Rani Mukherjee in Black.Pl help .

Answer 1

This is a very serious matter you are facing at this stage of life. What I feel as you two are issue less she is basically frustrated when she see other couples with kids & feel you are to be blamed for this. Although she is approaching her menopausal stage hence chances of her conceiving at this stage is very few but if she can do so it will be good for both of you, with a child coming in your life will make a great difference. Her temperament will cool down & she'll be less violent then. Better consult a good gynecologist for this. In the mean time avoid conflict at home & whenever she if is bad temper avoid her & better it will be to remain away from her for sometime. Also avoid family interference in your personal life because that spoils the relationship between you two more. For the sake of cordial matrimonial relationship try to satisfy her as much as you can rather then restoring to violence from your end, just avoid any of her abuses for the moment & let herself realize her mistake that will definitely help in your relationship.

Answer 2

Although it's not as common, women do abuse men. And in both cases, there are places you can go. You should get in contact with your local Safe House/Abused Spouse Shelter. You can get in touch with them by phone or online first, and find out what your options are. Some shelters are very full, but they can advise you on a course of action. You will need to protect yourself and your assets and GET OUT. You are being controlled and manipulated by a very evil person. She has no love, and only sickness and desire for control of whoever is her victim. This can warp your mind, and so can threats of suicide (the last resort of the evil and weak). You do have the right to have her involuntarily committed for a 72-hour hold, but she will act "normal" no doubt and get out and come right back to work on you, so if you do go that route, be prepared to use that time to disappear, taking everything you want to keep with you. Do not ever go back or accept contact from her again. You can do so much better, if you know yourself better and look for a woman you can respect, not a woman who uses you to make you support her or feel guilty. This threat of suicide is most likely only a ploy to control you. And if she does do it, what is the big loss? I don't think she will, though, she will go on to find another victim. What happened to her last husband? You could just say that you're going on vacation or for a work trip, and get transferred or move away and never come back. Good luck.

Answer 3

Before someone spouts off that it's not possible for the husband to be abused I beg to differ. Having worked with victims of domestic violence your story is all too familiar. What you are describing are characteristics of an abuser. You need to realize that you are not responsible for her behaviors, feelings nor actions. Abusers often manipulate their situations so they appear nice and easy going to those on the outside and vindictive, controlling and hurtful when in the privacy of their own environments. Threats of any kind are just that threats. It's just another form of manipulation to keep you from leaving. It's not your responsibility to make another person healthy. The only person you can do this for is yourself. It is highly unlikely that your situation is going to change even if you insist that she goes into counseling so your left with what will you do for yourself. It's obvious by what you posted that your not happy so why not reach out even further for support. Many areas have local hot lines and even support groups. They also have a whole host of other services including help with restraining orders, temporary housing, etc. The National domestic hotline is a good place to start. They can connect you to services in your area. If your not comfortable providing your name and just want to talk they will listen. I hope your find the support you need and do what is necessary to take care of you.

Answer 4

Oh,my! I can imagine how all this shocked you when it happened for the first time.
I think she needs professional help, this is the behavior of a person with bi polar disorder . It is too extensive an explanation, but read here :

http://www.reikithehealingpath.com/bi-polar.htm

I suspect that her first marriage was just like that, and I do not believe her family is completely unaware of all this.
I have a friend who was married to a bi polar disorder's man.
She was desperate when she found out, feeling caught in a trap.
It is impossible to live with them, they have no compassion for their victims. Read the article I selected for you, and I am sure it will help you. I am very sorry for you, and wish you luck.

Answer 5

Taking her own life will be her fault and not yours. You have no control over who lives or dies. For the most part, the one's who threaten are the ones who will not do it anyway. Get out, male or female I do not beleive in adbuse. Have you tried counseling? Make her go and if she don't and threatens to kill herself then call the police and tell them that your wife is threatening to kill herself and they will come and take her to the hospital and she will have to talk to a phsy. Dr. before she gets to come home and they will talk to her. If you are the one that calls they take your statements over hers. Her family proably already know how she is and doesn't want any part of it and has left it to be your problem. Don't take it, get out. People have control over their own lives and you are not responsible for anyone other then yourself. Get outside help, call the police, I know for a fact they will come and pick her up. If you want more proof of her behavior, get a nanny cam. Cheap and excellent proof....... You need to talk to someone that is a perfessional, do it in private, some proablems you can not fix on your own.

Answer 6

This case has exact matching with my problem. I took my wife to a psychiatrist, Got her examined and they have certified that she is suffering from "Paranoia" - a disease treated on par with AIDS etc., under Hindu Marriage Act. Section 13. On application Divorce is automatic.
Her violent behaviour is a result of Delusional Disorder. These disorders grow with age. You carry a risk on Life.
"HANDLE WITH CARE AND INTELLIGENCE"

Answer 7

Law is on her side these days. So collect evidence of abuse and make copies of it and go to the court with it else you will get creamed. You have to provide proof to be away from this devil woman. Another thought she might ve a schizo

Answer 8

Are you going to choose ViJay answer as best again this week? His answer is cut paste like this question which has been asked 3 times in the last week.

Answer 9

Sounds to me that you like to get abused, If you have no kids, that's great, now tell her that you have just told the gang on yahoo that she is an abuser, and I will bet that she will not commit suicide, that's just another threat, to try to keep you in line. go see a lawyer and file for divorce, she ain't worth it, to go through hell every day for the rest of your life.

Answer 10

You should seek the help of a psychatrist. Your wife is having some mental problem.