taking advantage of company?

Question

when people take advantage of your presence and your kindness and they basically walk all over you. & you try to be nice and friendly and forgiving, but they always winde up screwing you over again. how can this be stopped without ending a valued friendship [well valued to me at least]...?

Answer 1

You have to say "no". You may value the friendship, but you must value yourself more. If the other person takes "offense," takes it "personal," gets upset and "terminates" the relationship, well, so be it. You still have open arms stretched toward that person, and if they ever have a change of heart, you'll still be there. That's the best you can do.

But my personal opinion is, that if a person is unable to "forgive" you your right to self-care, are they really that good of friends in the first place?

Answer 2

It's so easy to say "we must set boundaries and true friends will be there if you say no". That's logical, but it's really hard to do when there is emotions involved with people in your life. Yours and theirs. It's hard to say things 'right' and it's also often difficult for people to not get defensive in turn. Try not to hold it in, it will become resentment which will ultimately ruin the friendship, but, how you do it really depends on the situation and the person and what you're comfortable with. Just try to get it out there constructively before it reaches a boiling point.

Answer 3

You choose what people get by with. Maybe you need to look at why you allow others by not setting and enforcing appropriate boundaries. Learn to politely say "No". You won't lose a friendship but you may lose a user.

Answer 4

Stop being there for that person until they show you some respect. Before you make that change you should inform them of your feelings. Make them meet you half way!!

Answer 5

If you let people do that to yo9u then how can yu call them friend. I think it is time to move on and find others to be with.