Ex Husband Still Stalking Me?

Question

I've been divorced for six years. My ex husband was furious that I left him. I had many items left at his place, and years ago, because he wanted to argue, I told him that I would not argue with him over anything, but if a time ever came he wanted me to come get these things, to please let me know. Sunday I found two random items on the hood of my car in a bag with a note "do not call me"...(as if I would!) A couple of years ago he had left a box at my front door, with the same note. What's odd is that he seems to be returning a few things at a time, every couple of years. I have to be honest, I'm afraid of him. He is not physically abusive, but apparently after all these years, still pretty pissed. I simply ignore him. Any ideas as to why he's doing this?

The Mrs. The judge in my divorce gave me a restraining order against him based on my description of his behavior at the time. So don't talk about what you don't know about!

I really appreciate all your input. I do ignore his behavior, since I read a very good book on stalkers and it says don't give them any feedback at all; positive or negative. I do believe that he still wants control in this situation and I am praying for him. I'm just sorry he can't find a gal who can give him what he wants. Thanks for your time.

Answer 1

It's obvious that he wants your attention. I don't know the nature of your relationship but it seems to me that maybe he didn't receive the type of closure that he was looking for and is perhaps still a little hurt. I will keep the two of you in my prayers. Peace and God bless.

Answer 2

Ex Husband Stalking

Answer 3

Having assisted many with restraining orders I can tell you have to show just cause that the persons actions are harmful in order to get one but you might be able to file harassment charges. It's a bit of a stress but you might get lucky. Heaven only knows why he would go to so much trouble to do this now after so many years. If he doesn't want you to call him send him a certified letter to him asking him to arrange a time for you to either pick up all your remaining items outside his him home, arrange a drop off point or to dispose of them and have no further contact. Let him know you see no point in what he's doing and ask him to refrain from contacting you. Keep a copy of everything you do including receipts of any letters mailed. This will give you grounds to seek harassment or stalking charges against him which would entitled a restraining order.

Answer 4

This is to stay in control.
He is letting you know that in some way you still belong to him. He can't or won't let go.

Do not confront this man what- so -ever.
If he contacts you tell him he can give the remainder of your things away to charity or throw them in the garbage.

If you seriously fear for your safety then I would do a number of things.

I would relocate - not easy but it may be worth it!

File an order of protection ( though you state he has never been physical)
Stalking is a crime!


If you have a protection order without any kind of time constraints then please notify the police .

Answer 5

If there is a restraining order against him didn't he breach that by being at your house/car?? If so, call the police - he is breaking the law. And yes I would call this stalking or some kind of control issue - like he is still hanging on or has something over you. Don't put up with it.

Answer 6

He is trying to get your attention. He is mad that you have not called him in all of these years and he figures if he is persistant, you will give in and call him. I would call the police, they may not really be able to do anything about it, but they can keep files on what is going on, that way if something ever happened (like your car getting vandalized) he would be looked at right away. I was also ask them what you can do to keep him away from you, at this point I don't think you have anything for a PFA, but once again, if they keep these reports on file it gives you ammo later on if anything else would occur.
Save all the notes and make sure the police see them or get them.

Answer 7

It is within the realm of possibility that he is quite selfish, but also has a bone of "fairness" within him, that he can't completely ignore.

Perhaps he has now grown out of his emotional attachment to the particular items (ie, no longer wants them) and figures that it is only fair to give them to you, rather than take them to the charity-shop or the tip?

People who are very selfish are usually that way because of deep emotional scars that have not been resolved. Does this sound like your ex-husband?

This is what my Dad was like: ie wanting to be honourable, and doing all that he could to be so - but unable to control his emotions. He felt HORRIBLE about the emotional abuse that he meted out to his family, but he just couldn't stop treating us that way, because of the biochemical problem in his brain.

Perhaps your ex-husband says "do not call me" because he is trying to be fair (by returning your goods) but he doesn't wish you to think that he is trying to reconcile. He doesn't want to get invovled in the emotional drama again. He knows he's not capable of controlling his emotions, so he gives you the items, and asks that you don't go near him.

I don't think you should worry about it, too much.

Pray for him. He is obviously in great pain.

Answer 8

Maybe is he one of those people who do it on the same time of year does this happen around the same time as the last ones? I would get a big Guard dog. Good luck.

Answer 9

Report him to the police.
Hang with some peopleas much as possible.
Pray for him

Answer 10

Talk to the law