Lilly's a week old today, and i know i suld be so happy she's FINALLY out n about, but im not. i just keep looking at her n thinking my life's over now, and then i feel so horrible for thinking such selfish thoughts. i've tried talking to her dad, but she just calls me childish.
i get upset when she crys for seemingly no reason and go to him about this, but i was told to stop being so 'f**king selfish n grow up' i miss being able to walk n see my friends and wee minus any pain!
i know its just baby blues, but when does this go? i dont think i could handle much more of this.
2007-05-14 11:52:57 · 32 answers · asked by evilbunnyhahaha 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
miss cassie, the relationship with the father broke down when i was 6 months pregnant. not sure why i thought i could rely on him to help me when he left me before
2007-05-14 12:11:47 · update #1
hiya it doesnt sound like your having much fun!
when i had my son i felt exactly the same. i does go away and it needs time... if you feel too bad go see your doctor and you may have a bit of postnatal deprssion. i found out i did later on and didnt do anything about it. i kept feeling hopeless and when people wanted to help i thought i was a useless mum and i didnt love my son.....
you should still meet up with your friends im sure your friends like babys?? give them a ring and ask them to meet up go to the pub cafe have a meal. all public places are really good with children now.
my advice to you is ignore her dad and do what you feel best, if he wont stand by you through this then he must be a really heartless person. it is his daughter after all and should still care for you and your child even though you arn't still together.
advice about going to the toilet, when you wee have a jug of warm water with you and pour it on yourself as you wee. my midwife advised me to do this and honestly it works you can feel the pain as your really sensitive down there and it blocks the stinging pain.
honestly chick go see a doctor about how your feeling they may suggest a tempoary tablet to go on but you need to sort this out so you can get a good relationship with your baby and she wont ruin your life. just ditch the daddy keep contact but look after your daughter on your own you will do a better job on your own than getting put down by him...
i hope you and your daughter all the best for the future. just ramdon question how old are you?
and if you need anyone to talk to or ask any questions
email ok
hazel103510351@yahoo.co.uk
xxx
2007-05-16 08:57:00 · answer #1 · answered by hazel103510351 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are most likely be suffering from post natal depression which is possibly compounded by the fact that your body has undergone many changes over the past month giving life to a small baby and now you do not even have that. See a doctor and get help Try to remember that you have done something extremely hard(I had problems conceiving so I am aware of how much of a gift you have given the baby's parents) and your body is still adjusting to the changes in hormone levels Is it possible they will let you see her or at least give you updates it might help May I add many happy returns and I hope you have the best birthday possible if any of the gifts you get givesyou even 1% of the joy you gave to the babys parents then you are lucky Remember all this is normal and when your hormones settle and you have grieved for the baby you have'lost' you should start to feel better. In the meantime just be proud of yourself you have proved you are a wonderful giving person. Big hugs :) :) :)
2016-04-01 01:18:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your doctor and tell her how you are feeling. It is normal to feel a little down but to not feel like you can't ask for help if it gets hard. Also if you have friends of family that will come over and help so you can get a little break that is totally OK. Just make sure it is someone you can trust. Things that will help is to get out of the house a little. Be in the sun. Do something you enjoy.
Babies this young do cry for a reason. Sometimes they just need to be held. Have you thought about baby wearing? Go to www.wearyourbaby.com and www.wrapnwear.com. This cut down so much on the cryingand give you two hands to be able to do a few things you want to do.
2007-05-14 12:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to the daddy, be pleasent and smile at him but he isn't going to help you now. Have you got your mum or sisters around you? They will know how you feel.
That horrible sharp pain when you pee will pass. You can go and see you friends, you have just had a baby - it isn't the end of your life it is the beginning of a whole new chapter.
You and your baby have so much to learn and you need to get to know each other which takes time. She will grow out of the crying stage to.
I remember sitting at home with myson when he was 5 days old, breastfeeding him for the 6th time that night and crying reminding myslef - it will get better. And it did! 19 months on we're the best of buds, we understand each other. Ok we still have our moments, every stage throws up a whole new set of challanges but thats parenthood for you!
You should start to feel better soon. I did at around 9 days when I stopped breast feeding and put him on the bottle. He slept for 6 hours that night and it was bliss! I felt I could take on the world after 6 hours sleep! I'm not saying to stop BF'ing but just bear in mind a happy mum is vital to the baby.
Please don't take what GG has said to seriously. Yes, post natal depression is very serious and if you continue to feel down or have nasty thoughts then yes, seek help. But baby blues are very common, you hormones slump after about 5 days and the reality hits.
2007-05-15 01:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by Lovely Lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is going to be like that, They need care and attention all the time. Maybe you could speak to someone that you know that has recently had children and they can give you advice. Maybe get the dad to look after lilly while you go and see you friends. Dose the father help look after lilly or dose he leave it to you. Explain that you are feeling down and you havnt seen your mates in a while and you just need your space other wise your going to have a nervious break down. The reason why you are feeling like this is becuase you are stressed and you must be very tired, your not gettin enough sleep and you are feeling angry that the baby is taking up all the time and effort. Thats why everything is getting to you. Most women feel like this after they have given birth. Its naturall to feel like this. Your not being childish and selfish and you certainly dont have to grow up, you have just given birth and thats the most hardest thing a women can do. You need to talk to the father of your baby and tell him how your feeling im sure he'll understand and give you the help and support you need.
Good luck, and congrats for giving birth. xx
2007-05-14 23:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by kinkyminx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I've heard that it is normal to have a slump in mood about now - hormones and the fact it must be a huge change to your life. It sounds like he's being his usual supportive self(!) I bet you are doing really well but it's just a lot to get used to.
Is there any one who can look after Lilly for an hour or two so you can relax and have a proper rest?
I can't speak from experience as I have all this to come (21 weeks tomorrow and on my own myself) but I just wanted to offer a bit of support.
You are still young - your life is far from over! And you're clearly a very strong woman.
If you still feel really down in a week then see your doc as post natal depression isn't something to ignore but this may well just be what they call the 'baby blues'.
2007-05-14 21:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello honey,
My girl is going to be 8 months old on the 25th. I suffered from post partum depression too. It was bad.
I am sure you are feeling, sad, worthless, hopeless, lonely, and many many other things. It is hard especially when your ex is being selfish himself. Please Please go talk to your Dr. and get on medication. I was put on lexapro, and I talked with a psych dr. It helped tremendously. I suffered from depression in the past also so that is what made my PPD so bad. If you also have previous depression that wasn't treated I beg you to talk to your dr. I felt as though my life was over as well, I almost ended mine too. That is why i beg you to get some help, for you and Lily.
About your little blessing Lily. she is going to cry for no reason. I didn't understand my girl either, but remember they just came from your womb. It was always cozy in there. If she is upset try swaddling here arms and all, that usually does the trick because they are use to the comforts of the womb. Pretty soon she will be cooing and smiling up at you, she will not want anyone but you. She needs you so get well for her. When i went through it, I can't even remember the first 2 months of my baby's life, it seemed like a blur. DOn't do that to yourself. I still suffer from my depression and still treat it.
2007-05-14 13:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked with your doctor about how you feel? Post partum depression is a real disease and there is help for you. You aren't selfish at all but please seek help for yourself! I think it is great that you came here and were able to talk about how you feel. You aren't alone in this and maybe other mommies will come forward and tell you about their experiences and how they coped. I remember after I had my 1st daughter I just cried and cried. And well so did she. She was colicky extremely colicky and I think it had a lot to do with me too! But then one night I was up really late with her because she was having another crying spell and I turned on some music sat her in her bouncie and cried. That night she just stopped and looked at me and smiled for the 1st time it was def. a smile and it was then that I believe she and I truly had our first bonding moment. She has been my best friend ever since that day=) So it gets better. But if you think even for a second that it isn't something that you can handle on your own get help. It's totally ok foryou to let her cry while you take a step back too. Good luck honey!
2007-05-14 12:03:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry that you're feeling so low. The best thing to do would be to talk to an advisor, ie: your GP...and friends and family! It still such an early stage and you do need to get use to your baby! I havnt had kids, but I know that no one comes up to you and tells you how its going to be..they literally hand a baby over to u and expect that you'll know what to do..its common how you are feeling...Just be happy that you have this little person who in 18+ yrs will be able to look after u and a security for your future..also that you are lucky to have had a baby! Good luck, am sure in time you'll feel better! I hope!
2007-05-14 12:00:26 · answer #9 · answered by Talia W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my baby is 14 weeks and i still feel like that sometimes. whoever is calling you selfish and childish is SOOO wrong!! Yes, your life as you knew it is over now but you have a new exciting chapter opening, although you may not think this at the moment. the first couple of weeks are the hardest, you are sore and tired, and it may seem like it wont get better but it does. Ask your friends to come and see you, many hold back thinking your too busy with the new arrival (my experience).
Hope it all goes well x x
2007-05-14 12:18:24 · answer #10 · answered by foxychazza_69 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋