Is there any way to get over shyness?

Question

I'm new in school, and theres only two weeks left, how do I meet new people?

Answer 1

Make it a challenge to try to draw out other people, maybe even other shy people....aim for one or two a day. Try to find out what interests them, what is troubling them. Don't concentrate on solving their problems, concentrate on being an understanding listener (play back to them what you are hearing)...this is great therapy for them. Help them solve problems only if they ask...but for now, the empathy is much more important. If you take an honest interest in someone else's life (how they are doing, etc.)...helping them to open up...you might find yourself gaining some solid confidence.
You can then use this confidence to leverage into other activities.
If you yourself come from a troubled background, you may find yourself more able to relate to people who are going through tough times...and those people will find it easier to trust and be comfortable with you.

Answer 2

Hi Alexis,

There's really no substitute for action; take the step to meet people and over time the activity will be come easier.

With two weeks to go, a quick answer may be to AFFIRM to yourself that you're Interesting, Important, and Other People would be glad to know you. Then, go out and meet them.

If you feel that you can do this, great! I'd be surprised if you didn't meet some interesting people on your first day.
If this isn't in your comfort zone, read on...

Two of the most common fears that people have are the Fear of Failure and Fear of Rejection. While I'm not going to suggest a clinical diagnosis of shyness or suggest a clinical treatment for you, there are a few ways to make meeting people easier:

1) Meet people you don't know away from places you commonly go. The idea here is to meet people that don't know you or your friends. This gives you a great opportunity to practice without fear of having your friends find out if you were successful or not.

This is similar to a common sales training practice. New sales people often "train" by selling to low-value prospects, and likely get rejected most of the time. Why do they get rejected most of the time? simply because they are new at selling. Yet, over time they build their selling skills so that their sales pitch gets accepted more often which builds self-confidence and prepares them to sell to higher-value prospects. New salespeople don't train on high-value prospects immediately because they might otherwise lose a valuable client simply because they didn't have the skill to close the sale at the time.

2) You don't need to actually talk to people to make a connection with them. A simple smile will do. While some people might look away as visual connections can be uncomfortable, you might be surprised at how many people simply smile back. You might even be lucky enough for someone to come over to talk with you after you've smiled at them.

3) Say hello to people in public places. Being in a public place like a mall eliminates a lot of the "intimacy" of lets say: stopping someone inbetween classes and holding a private conversation. People may look at you, smile, or look away, say hello back, and possibly say something nice back - perhaps "Hi, do I know you?"
Regardless of their responses, the idea here is to get used to greeting other people so that the action becomes second nature and you build self-confidence over time.

Remember, this is a "numbers game" and repetition is the key to success.

Here are a couple of websites with some additional information (attached).

Good luck, and best wishes.

Answer 3

First, try to relax when you are around other people. Start with one sentence at a time. Compliment someone as you are walking by. Pick up something someone dropped and make eye contact. Smile at someone in the hall. Answer questions in class. Get people to talk about themselves.

Answer 4

Hello

You can start by maybe inviting a few people over in the afternoon, and go for a walk down to the local oval or park. Or maybe approach them and say "Can i be in your group" , and try to speek up a bit , talk about yourself. And share your interests. You never know they may be just like you!
Hope this helps
Good Luck!

Answer 5

I'M 24, I RECOVERED FROM SHYNESS JUST 4 MONTHS AGO, PLEASE DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID OF LETTING IT GO ON FOR SO LONG, I WAS GOING THROUGH A BAD PATCH WITH MY EX OF 8YRS, THEN WE FINALLY DECIDED TOO CALL IT A DAY WITH THE RELATIONSHIP, I GOT REALLY DOWN, SO 1 DAY I JUST CAME TOO MY SENSES AND SAID TOO MYSELF "THIS IS MY LIFE NO-ONE IS GOING TOO JUMP OUT AND OFFER ME EVERYTHING THAT I WANT IN LIFE I HAVE TOO START PUTTING MYSELF FORWARD AND IN TIME IT WILL GET EASIER", WELL ITS 4 MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD AND IM MUCH HAPPIER WITH MY LIFE IM JUST ABOUT DOING EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER WANTED TOO DO, HAVE MORE FRIENDS THAN I COULD POSSIBLY EVER IMAGINED, START WITH SOMETHING SMALL AND WORK YOUR WAY UP.

Answer 6

Just by observing around you... maybe you'll find another shy person just like you waiting to make friends too. Just remember to relax and smile. Oh yes, breathing helps too.

Answer 7

Try not to focus so much on yourself. Increase your self-esteem and self-confidence. Don't worry about what others think of you, for it does not matter. Talk more and be friendly to others- oh, and don't forget to smile because smiles are contagious.

Answer 8

JUST REMEMBER IF YOU ACT LIKE YOURSELF AND PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT, THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN ALONG ANYWAY. YEAH, I KNOW, CLICHE BUT, IT IS THE TRUTH. IF YOU MEET SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LIKE YOU, JUST TELL YOURSELF: TOMORROW WHEN I WAKE UP WHAT THAT PERSON THINKS OF ME WON'T MATTER AT ALL.

Answer 9

start a conversation with someone that you would like to hangout with .if you hit it off they will introduce you to some of there friends .try it you have nothing to lose

Answer 10

Its as easy as a smile. Just smile at someone, they smile back then you say Hi! they say hi back then say How are you? so on and so forth. Its as easy as that! Just go for it!