Is this marriage going to survive?

Question

Husband 33, Wife 26, been together for almost 8 years (dating & marriage). Wife walked out on marriage of 2.5 years. Gets her own apartment. Started affair with another man. Affair goes on for 6 months. Very intense and very serious. Says she loves him, wants to marry him and so on, all the while still married but not living at home. She is basically ignoring her husband. Says that she wants a life with this other man and is ready to file for divorce. At the 11th hour, wife has a change of heart and is trying to reconcile with husband who knows of the affair, but not how serious it was(wife omitted that). Both are in individual counseling but not in couples counseling yet. Affair was revealed only a month ago. Wife still hasn't broken it off with the other guy and they still talk to each other on the phone periodically. Husband and wife aren't living together yet but are spending a lot of time together. Is this marriage going to survive?

Answer 1

I don't mean to be heartless but have you lost your mind, she gets to see if the grass is greener, sew her roots, enjoy another sex partner, freedom, and then come back to her comfort zone, I think not. I am 28 and I have been with the same man for 10 years, and I do not need to go sew anything, and if I did I would never expect him to take me back. The damage is done, you can't trust her again. It will always be in the back of your mind, and in the end it may break you. I say don't be her doormat, but then again you may not have been a saint, that I don't know, but from what you asked, I say, nope, not a chance.

Answer 2

Marriages can stay to tell the tale cheating. whether it takes particularly some attempt on the two spouses to offer that a raffle. Forgiving somebody for the type of factor isn't uncomplicated. the guy who cheats needs to confess to that, renowned a incorrect factor surpassed off, take complete accountability for it, know how that habit harm the different spouse and then vow by way of words and strikes to on no account do it returned. The above isn't uncomplicated. frequently a cheater won't settle for complete accountability. That individual could settle for ninety 9% and that they are going to cop up a lame excuse that no longer right away justifies it. in specific circumstances cheater will admit what went on is a hundred% the fault of the cheater and then turn around and say it advance into no vast deal. See how stressful this is to triumph over such issues?

Answer 3

It can survive if both parties seriously want it to, and do whatever it takes to repair and protect it. But it doesn't sound to me like she's serious about saving it or repairing it if she's still talking to the guy. She needs to cut ALL ties with him. I'm thinking, from your story, and a little experience, that she's scared. She's scared that if this doesn't work out with the other guy, that she won't have a place to go, or a man...and so, by having a "change of heart" at the last minute, she can keep you on a string JUST IN CASE. The call is up to you, but seriously...I think you're being had.

Answer 4

Wife has some serious issues, the main one being that she married too young and never got to date enough. I think she is taking advantage of a perhaps stagnant marriage and seeks obvious attention elsewhere because it made her feel better about herself. She wants to feel desired, but she should be wanting that from her husband. I guess I would judge the future based upon the degree of her remorse. If she feels horrible and distraught by her actions and the pain she has caused, maybe there is something to salvage. If she just says she is confused, then believe her. She is too unstable and she will break his heart again.

Answer 5

No, it ain't gonna survive. The husband dated a teenager way back when and she was just a big kid. That's why she couldn't live with the commitment. There is no real LOVE here. She is trying to maneurvre between 2 men and hope to get both. The husband is old enough for a real marriage but not the woman.

Answer 6

I would call this an issue of trust, lack of same goals, and maybe a sexual compatibility problem.

Years of research most successful marriages have the following factors in common, any failure of any two creates can destroy a marriage.

1. Married after age 25.
2. Common goals.(children, careers, material or none material)
3. Religious compatible(Hindu's and Jew's are a bad mix)
4. Low maintenance
5. Close social economical class(poor +rich only works in the movies)
6. Communicates(even most hidden secrets, honest, trust, and no mental abuse statements).
7. Sexual compatible.(this includes fantasies, wiliness to accept someones differences).
8. Similar likes and dislikes(opposites may attract, but they do not stay together)

Answer 7

Instead of asking someone eles this question, i believe you need to ask that of yourself. If you want it to survive, you will help make it happen and do all you can. Apparently you need to review what your marriage vows mean. I am not being mean here, i am just being very honest. I am glad you had a change of heart at the last moment but you need to leave this other man alone-Period!! You are committing adultery. You cannot have your cake and pie too. Make your mind up what you really want and then thats what you do.
Good Luck, God bless

Answer 8

The longer you stay apart from a relationship, the harder it is going back.(She's not going back)
I think the wife, is slowing breaking off with her husband, because he's having a hard time breaking up or divorcing . She might be seeing and talking to him. So, they can see eye to eye on things, that things aren't working. (Like going to counseling)She knows he really hearting, so she's taken it nice and slow.

Answer 9

50/50
She clearly bailed because she was freaked about the relationship. Maybe the idea of someone knowing her freaked her out.

If it was that she would definitely run from the new man too why? because the same issue came up.

Till her issue is resolved she can't have a successful relationship. If she has then she can have a relationship. If not of course it's doomed. She'll run away 1st chance she gets.

Answer 10

Tricky question.
The seven year itch is a cross road that many marriages don't survive.

If they are both willing to accept each other and love each other with all their faults - yes.

Anything less than that - no.

After about seven years the hope of a perfect life together (aka the "in love" stage) ends and the "loving" (accepting each other as they truly are) beings.