Me and my wife have been married for 7 years (together for 10). She recently became pregnant with our second child and has become very clingy. I know it's from the pregnancy, but she is demanding all my spare time. (I work two jobs and go to school part time to better take care of her). I don't want much, but this past weekend some friends called at wanted me to hang out with them at the bar. My wife started crying, saying "you never want to spend time with me" and asking if I still loved her. My response was yes and I ended up staying home, (was very grupy about it though). How can I tell her I feel like I can't breath and need some space. My friends are planing a guys weekend at the lake over memoral day weekend but I'm afraid to even bring it up with how emotional she is.
Is there any way I can bring it up without hurting her feelings or seeming like I don't care about her, and still get to go.
2007-05-14 09:45:38 · 18 answers · asked by honest guy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only way I can think of is to tell her "I know your upset, but I want to go and I'll see you when I get back" which is a little insensitive, but I'm at my wits end about this.
2007-05-14 09:46:41 · update #1
Show her this site. You obviously love her and are there for her...sometimes the hormones & pregnancy his & lows dont let her realize it. Sounds like you are very busy trying to provide a positive life for your family... I dont think it is out of the question to have a little downtime yourself before the baby arrives and everyone is going to need more attention. Maybe schedule something fun & relaxing for her that weekend too...spa weekend with her mom or bestfriend? But again, I would show her this site and just the fact that you would open yourself up and ask this question shows you are there for your family and just didnt make up an excuse to go. Good luck and hopefully you BOTH have a great Memorial weekend!
2007-05-14 09:59:28 · answer #1 · answered by linda m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um dude you are MARRIED!!!!! You have a child and wife that is expecting another you should be with them over the holidays not getting drunk with a bunch of friends. If that kind of thing is still a priority in your life I think maybe you got married for the wrong reasons. Wasn't last weekend MOTHERS DAY????!!!!!!!!!!! Come on man get real and grow up and take some responsibility for your family. Take a trip with the guys when it is NOT a family oriented holiday. I do see that everyone needs a break. If nothing else set your wife and her best friend up to take a weekend get away together (with out the kids) it will show her that you understand that she may also need a break she might come back happy and relaxed The preggers thing is a bit choppy it makes some women feel unattractive and depressed try to hang in there.
2007-05-14 10:40:51 · answer #2 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hanging out with friends is important every once in a while. But let me ask you this. Do you and her go out and do fun things together. Or is the only time you go out is when your with your friends. Does she have any reason to maybe feel like maybe you dont want to spend quality time with her. And quality time is not you sitting at home with her watching tv. Personally me and my man go to bars together. Okay now you say that your friends are planning something memoral day weekend. With how busy you are how can you spend any quality time with her and your friends. I guess maybe she should just go hang out at a bar with some of her friends, and if she dont have any friends maybe she should go find some and go to a diffrent lake then you memoral day weekend. Now if you have not spent any quality time with her recently she has a reason to be upset. Maybe she should just go do her own thing and you do your own thing for awhile. Would that make you happier.
2007-05-14 10:00:55 · answer #3 · answered by verucatopanga 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never be too careful with a pregnant woman's emotions! :) Try to do a few extra things for her, like rub her feet, draw her a bath, then put your other child to bed for her. When she's nice and relaxed, let her know just how stressed you've been lately. Remind her gently about how much time you've put into working 2 jobs and going to school to better your family. Then tell her how you just really feel like you could use a day off. I doubt you'll get the whole weekend with the guys, but maybe you could get at least one night. Good Luck!
2007-05-14 09:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really sorry to hear about your situation....but you are partly responsible for her being pregnant. So for the next little while (a very short time considering the time you have left in life) you will have to suck it up and make the best of things. Try having people over instead of going out but don't leave a mess for her clean up. If that doesn't work, wait emotions run high during pregnancy and they might swing the other way, and she may not be able to stand the sight of you.
2007-05-14 10:08:22 · answer #5 · answered by Susan G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's all her hormones. When I was pregnant I cried over the stupidest crap. Does she have some people she can spend the weekend with? So that she's not alone? Set up a fun weekend for her too, as a surprise. I think a little time apart would do you both some good. Maybe she's mad because she can't drink and have fun with you guys? I remember that used to upset me too. I was jealous my husband and all my friends could drink. As soon as I had the kids, all my emotional stuff stopped though, so don't worry, she'll be herself soon.
2007-05-14 09:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're sweating the small stuff, friend. This pregnancy will be over in less than nine months. She doesn't get a break from the emotional ups and downs the hormones are causing in her. Enjoy her right now, tell your buddies, "Dudes, I'll hang out if I can, but right now my wife needs me." Let your wife know she's number one in your life, help her deal with the hormonal highs and lows, and you'll see: she'll start to feel better almost right away with pampering from her hubby, and you'll get to go play with the boys, too. Just take the time necessary to build her up, choose to have a pleasant attitude about it with her, and all will be right as rain. ^_^
Best wishes,
Momwtrmn
2007-05-14 09:52:10 · answer #7 · answered by MomWtrmn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
let your wife know that you do love her very very much but you need some me time too. Tell her that you will take her out when you get back and make it a really special day for her to show her that you love her and that she is still someone you do want to treat and spend time with. When women are pregnant we get a bit insecure and those hormonal changes are a big ***** for us too. She probably feels ugly and uncomfortable right now and needs the extra praise and attention because of it,
2007-05-14 09:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she honestly needs you more than ever at this time, you know? If you realize this and it's from the pregnancy, it's not the best thing to make it worse by "hey I'm going out with the guys, see ya"...is one of the worst things you can do. I know you're at your wits end, but obviously she needs you more than you think. OR you guys could go to the lake together etc...if you go w/o her or you just go period it will hurt her feelings, I honestly don't see any way around that =(
2007-05-14 10:00:01 · answer #9 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her attitude change is unreasonable and under normal circumstances, cannot be attributed to her pregnancy. For some reason, she has developed real security issues that are going to be the death of your relationship if the problem is not solved....if this is a growing neurosis, help will be needed. She needs to get to the underlying cause of her feelings quickly. And, I would not just run off and leave her with her thought processes so screwed up..and that is what they are...screwed up. Consider her ill for the moment and proceed accordingly.
2007-05-14 09:57:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋