BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Thunder crashes out my window!
Rain is pelting on the roof!
And lightning strikes the Earth!
I cry for help
But no one comes.
I am all alone.
I grab my prized possessions
And run out in the streets.
I run and run
And never stop
Until I know I'm safe.
I come across the ocean.
All gray and blue and bleak.
I scream and cry
And create a storm
Of my very own.
Is this a good poem? I'm 13 years old.
2007-05-14 09:20:59 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It's not supposed to rhyme, and not all poems rhyme if you haven't noticed.
2007-05-14 09:23:38 · update #1
I guess you could say "pleasure" but I wasn't happy when I wrote it...
2007-05-14 09:24:13 · update #2
wow girl this are a really beautiful poem to say you only 13 years old i really do love it girl i think you should published your poem and i bet you will make a lot off money of it i will be the first one to buy it because I'm a big fan of poems i love them i have a lot of poems and i will not mind adding one more if you don't mind me adding your poem girl to my list and good job girl because this really a great poem and plus you really are a good poem writer to say you just only 13 years old and i wish you the best of luck with your poem girl because this really is a beautiful poem and take care.
2007-05-14 11:58:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you know that this is not your best and that you can do better. you told us your age as if to say I'm only 13 so don't be to hard on me! I don't think its that great what do you think? I like the line " I come across the ocean. All gray and blue and bleak." And I can clearly see that you can do better. I would love to read something else you have written.
2007-05-14 09:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by RainydaySarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow..That was amazing.Especially for a 13 year old.I especially love how in the beginning you use onomatopoeia and describe everything about the rain.Magnificent poem!Wonderful job.You're a true writer :)
2007-05-14 09:23:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good to me.
Keep in mind that different things appeal to different people. While some of us will like it, others won't. And there's nothing wrong with that either. Just figure out who your audience is - the types of people who like your style- and write for them and no one else, besides yourself of course.
2007-05-14 09:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is very atmospheric - well done.
In the future you could be more descriptive, (ie. rain is pelting on the roof - like stones being thrown from the sky...) give examples, it adds to the interest
2007-05-14 11:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by rose_merrick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah its very good. I think you should send it to one of those poem places where ppl read your poems in a big book. My brother did that once..
2007-05-14 15:12:13 · answer #6 · answered by The BecaNATOR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it doesn't rhyme... that is a big plus. Most people your age kill things with bad rhymes.
You use too many exclamation points though. Try using something else instead to express how you feel.
Not bad though.
2007-05-14 09:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by L_PJS 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For a 13 year old that's pretty good.
2007-05-14 09:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by ♥c0c0puffz♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it very good for your age Its better then some I read in books
2007-05-14 09:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by freddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! Especially the descriptive parts, "all gray and blue and bleak" and the twist ending.
2007-05-14 09:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by gouldgirl2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋