Is it true that sometimes men need help?

Question

OK, so we're wishy-washy about should we have kid #2. When we ACTUALLY talk about it, like for real sit down and no sarcasm, we both agree that kid #2 is a good idea, but it's scary and can we do it, are we patient enough, do we have the money? It's hard. When we don't honestly talk about it, like just in passing, my husband's always like no way, no way, no way and I'm always like yes yes yes.

I sort of chalked it up to a loss because my little one will be 4 next month and we've never made up our mind, but then my husband brought it up again the other night and said how he knows we should have baby #2. We talked about how wonderful babies are and all that, but (of course) didn't like - make up our mind.

What's the best way to just help him figure out what he wants? He's said before that he needs help from me sometimes on making up his mind because he just can't do it - is this one of those things? How do you do that?

Answer 1

NO, this is not one of those times to help him make up his mind. It's not like choosing to buy a sweater that you know you can't afford, this is a child that will need parented by BOTH parents. If you want to have another baby, this is something he'll have to put his own vote in for because if you just "get pregnant" and he thinks it something you guys were supposed to be "still discussing" he may get resentful and not want to put his heart into parenting. And if money becomes an issue and you find that no, you guys really couldn't handle a second child after all, he'll forever blame you for getting pregnant or "tricking" him into it. Sit down, turn the TV off and say once and for all "we already have a 4 year old, I want to know right now if we are going to have another child because once "the child" is in school I don't want to have to start over again, I'd rather have the second baby now than to start over again later" that is of course if that is how you feel, I only assumed that was part of it since you mentioned the 4 year old. Anyway, make him say a definite YES or NO right there on the spot. If he says he needs more time, I would plan to NOT have another child because its not really that difficult of a decision to make. Good luck.

Answer 2

This is silly, to tell you the truth! Stop taking BC pills, let nature take its course. You may not even be able to get pregnant....time will tell. Since you are both riding the fence, if it happens, fine. IF it doesn't, that will have to be fine also. Don't think that just because you stop taking BC pills, you are going to get preggers...it may not happen. So stop with all the discussion, and it wouldn't hurt you to be off the pill anyway. Go for it, inform him if you get pregnant..the choice will have been made for him. He obviously doesn't care that much if you do get pregnant, and men NEVER really want a child ... an unknown entity that costs far too much money and time...but funny, once you have it in your arms, your heart changes and everything works out just fine. Good luck

Answer 3

basically you weigh out all the pros and cons and then both of you just decide to do it or not do it. If he decides that yes right now would be a good time to have a baby go with it before he changes his mind again. Once you're pregnant then he can't very well try to say no again because the decision was already made.

Answer 4

My daughter substitute into 4 earlier my son substitute into born. My ex-hubby stated no-no-no. yet did not elect to apply secure practices while we've been intimate so wager what-i did not get in difficulty as quickly as I have been given pregnant. regrettably on the instant time and age, if we sit down and attempt to verify all of the experts and cons of having a toddler or 2d or third toddler, lifestyles will bypass you purchase. you will consistently elect to anticipate that promoting or the domicile of your objectives or the economic enterprise account yet in certainty, now may be the best time of your lifestyles so stop worrying approximately "How" and do exactly it. do not 2d wager yourselves.....get a toddler sitter, bypass have a romantic evening alongside with your husband. hire a hotel room for the evening and seduce him telling him which you waited for him to make the selection and his time is up so this evening is toddler making evening. have exciting and experience a single yet another's business enterprise. some men are scarred of having teenagers simply by fact in case you have an particularly lively intercourse lifestyles at the start, some men experience you will not have one in any respect in case you have yet another toddler because it sluggish would be divided between 2 teenagers and not them. merely relax certain that the the two one among you have got lots of time and love for all IF the two one among you place the time into it. you basically never understand!

Answer 5

It sounds like your husband lacks the self confidence to stand behind his decisions on major issues and really wants you to make them for him so when whatever falls apart its not his fault. So dont give him an option. Just tell him you want another child so he better get busy and then see what he says. Probably growing up, his mommy made all his decisions for him and so now he wants you to b the "mommy" figure so he doesnt have to. Good luck

Answer 6

Your answer is simple...you have the power....just tell you husband that you are off the pill because you want another child....he'll come around (no pun intended).

Besides you don't want you child to be an only child? That's a terriable thing to do to a kid! ALlow him/her to be a brother/sister....have then close so they will play eventually.

Answer 7

If you guys want another- GO FOR IT! You already know that when it comes to having babies, there is NEVER enough time or money! So stop waiting for it!