and is pushing him away from her.. She has yet to mention it to me but her husband has called me and told me about it. He is not asking for my help but just wants someone to talk to. I cant tell my friend because, knowing her character, it will aggrevate the situation and she will be even more upset with him. Her husband has told me that she is having an affair and he has his sources and he is very very sure..
I want to speak to her about it, I want to hear her side of the story but I cant. I feel like I am betraying her by not telling her that her husband has told me but I cant bear the consequences and trust me on this, the consequences would be too severe for me to bear..
Her husband is calling me and telling me everything, wanting to meet up and all.. he is a little depressed so I am worried that he would do something silly.. but my fiance prefers that i stay out of it.. how do i tell him? how should i handle the situation? should i talk to my friend too? I dunno what to do.
2007-05-14 07:38:34 · 19 answers · asked by i am who i am 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Basically, stay out of it. Tell her husband that you dont want to get involved because youre too good of a friend with both of them and you dont want to get caught up inthe middle and definitely dont want to take sides. He should understand that. Curiosity is a female trait so naturally you want to hear her side, but that is also what killed the cat too, so you must be patient and wait til she comes to you. His depression is natural considering the circumstances but seriously doubt if he will do something stupid but then I dont know him but men rarely do. I agree with your fiance and stay out of this before you get drawn into something youll regret for life.
2007-05-14 07:50:18 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First, Listen to your fiance. He's right. But on the other hand how close of friends are you? If you and your friends are really close shouldn't you say something to her? Because this could gone on forever and you could wind up losing a good friend. She needs to be confronted by you her friend. The severity could also cause friction in your on relationship. Either talk to her or stay out of it. Like you said your only getting his side.
2007-05-14 07:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by susan b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should tell him that he needs to talk with her about it. Perhaps they can work through whatever is going on whether it is an affair, and what caused it, to other things going on in their marriage. He should be trying to fix it with her, and not try to turn to you. That can make for a very nasty situation leading to things that shouldn't happen.Let him know that if he really wants to get to the bottom of this with his wife then he needs to sit her down and let her know what he knows about her affair and that he would like to know why and ask her if she still loves him. If so then they could go to marriage counseling. I think your fiance is right though. you don't need to get mixed up in this situation.
2007-05-14 07:53:29 · answer #3 · answered by wilfeistykitten2003 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very simple.
Tell him that you are a friend of his wife not his. And also tell him that he should talk to his own friends about his problems. You should not get in the middle of your friend's marriage crisis. If you get involved deeply enough, you'll end up getting all the blames. Do not advice any of them on making marriage decisions and just stay out of it. Tell the poor husband to seek other help.
2007-05-14 07:46:51 · answer #4 · answered by Victoria78 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My best advice would be to stay out of it...tell the husband that you feel you are betraying your friend by communicating with him and that he needs to seek an independent 3rd party to receive counsel from. Do not get involved, I promise you, in the end one or both of them will begin to resent you.
2007-05-14 07:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by juda75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her husband needs to find someone else to talk with. Your friend will find out if you meet with him and she could accuse you of all kinds of things. Advise him to speak with a male friend or a counselor/therapist to work through his issues. You are too close to the situation to really help him.
2007-05-14 07:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by royal e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him that he needs to talk to his wife about this...
If i were you i would stay out of it, if you decide you think talking to both of them is going to help the situation, think again.... if anything it will only open up a whole new can of worms if you know what i mean..
Whatever you do, do not meet up with this man unless your fiance is with you... reason being;
1. it's your friends husband
2. he is vulnerable and may end up trying something he will regret, like you said...
If i were you i would wait until she brings the situation up to you..Until then stay out of it..
2007-05-14 07:54:45 · answer #7 · answered by Kasja 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it was nice of you to talk with your friend's husband, but your fiance is right -- stay out of it!!
your friend doesn't need to know you talked with her husband, just keep it to yourself.
meanwhile, you might consider staying out of your friend's personal business, and not bring this up to her. let her come to you if she wants to share.
you can't fix her problems.
if it were me, i'd tell the husband that while i'm concerned for the both of them, and i care, it's improper to be involved, and perhaps he could consult someone who isn't so "close" to the situation. maybe a counselor, his brother, or someone else he trusts.
when it comes right down to it, he should never ask you, his wife's friend, for comfort, help or advice.
2007-05-14 07:47:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do NOT tell your friend her hubby is confiding in you. Tell him you sympathize with him but you dont think its appropriate for him to discuss his marriage problems with him seeing how he is talking about your friend. Seeing how your friend isnt mentioning any of the woes to you, I wouldnt let on that I know....Just ask her how are things with the hubbyand see if she opens up.
2007-05-14 07:46:35 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 07:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋