my boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months. Im 19 and hes 20. Ive already moved out hes still lives with his dad. His dad only has one arm and i respect my bf for staying for that reason but his father did everything before he had a son! We both have stable jobs and good income, Im ready and he wants to marry me just not right now, I have a disease that disables a person as they get old, and I want a family in a couple years! I know Im being impatient but he is too slow!!!! I love him so much and really we are meant for each other. How do I try to be more patient or should I stand my ground. Please help.
2007-05-14 06:57:44 · 9 answers · asked by Kaden James born 4/11/2009 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If that's what you and him want out of life go for it
2007-05-14 07:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People always say this: I know we're meant to be together! But if it was so certain, they wouldn't be on here wondering. No offense! Maybe you are meant to be together! BUT... if you want to be married, and he does not, then that is a significant problem. That is part of whether or not you are really meant to be together.
Regardless, whether or not you should be more patient or stand your ground is totally up to you. No one here can answer that question for you. You need to sit down and ask yourself what you really want in life, when and how. Then you need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend about it. If you cannot work out a compromise, then the sooner you break it off, the better off you'll both be. That said, your "sit down and talk" session might answer your question in a positive way as well! You won't know until you do it.
One last thing. Even if you have some condition that will effect you as you get older, you are only 19!! You won't be "old" for decades! Perhaps before you sit down with your boyfriend you had better sit down with your doctor. You don't seem to clear about exactly how long you have for this to happen. Odds are you are rushing into something that doesn't need to be rushed into. Good luck!
2007-05-14 14:03:51 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about what you are saying....
If you rush your bf into marriage, you will regret it later. He'll resent you for the marriage and the responsibility of having children before he was ready.
Marriage just isn't about having children and knowing that you are meant for one another. It is about comprimising and sometimes putting the other persons needs before your own.
I know that you have a disease and you will be crippled after a period of time and when this happens who will take care of the children? Your bf? Will he want to? Can he handle that type of responsibility? Can you handle the fact that you will be crippled with a child/children? Can you read between the lines of what I'm saying?
With that said, why isn't he ready to marry you IF you were meant to be together? What are his reservations and hesitations about?
Think long and hard before you decide to marry this man and bring a child into this world.
Good luck.
2007-05-14 14:06:59 · answer #3 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must be patient. If you want him then you must wait for him. If you want just anyone, then move on. I am sure you will find someone.
I am sorry for your illness, but it is asking a lot of someone to have children and a family with you knowing that you will eventually be unable to care for children or yourself. The right person will do that and be there for you. The wrong person will not want that responsibility.
2007-05-14 14:35:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do don't push him to get married. You may end up pushing him further away. I know you mentioned that you have a disease but you need to be patient. Also, with this disease is it safe to have children? And is it something that you could pass on? That is just something else to think about.
2007-05-14 14:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you're ready, but (here's the key:) if you feel that he is the person you want to be with, wait.
If he wants to be prepared and sure about his decision to marry you, that is a good thing. You don't want a guy that will marry you on a whim...just to please you. You want someone for the long haul.
Find out all his reasons and take your time. You are still young enough.
2007-05-14 14:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by Lane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same thing going on and me and my bf are the same age as you and yours. hehe... but I think maybe you should wait a little longer not too long cause I know what your going through but just wait. Hope that helps.
2007-05-14 14:02:06 · answer #7 · answered by ~*JENNIFER*~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it at least 6 more months-- (2 yrs total)
then think about it if by then he is still not willing then you should move on
2007-05-14 14:01:57 · answer #8 · answered by gabby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want him then you will have to be patient or he will flee.
2007-05-14 14:01:01 · answer #9 · answered by sarell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋