Eng 101 help!! :( :(?

Question

What's wrong with this argumentive essay?
Anything I should CAPITALIZE???
any commas, grammar mistakes??
plzz helppppppppp meeeeeeeeeee :(
it'z due tomorrow :(:( :(

Research has proven that carbonated beverages are bad for the health. Cancer is one of the many illnesses these beverages cause. Because carbonated beverages are harmful to the human health, people must eliminate them from their meals.
A carbonated drink is a beverage that has carbon dioxide dissolved in it. This is done to improve its taste, texture, or both. All carbonated beverages and carbonated plain water have this problem.
Carbonated beverages cause many serious illnesses. They increase esophageal cancer. Researchers at Tata hospital found a strong correlation between the consumption of carbonated drinks and the increased rate of esophageal cancer. Due to the large consumption of these drinks, the rate of esophageal cancer has increased.

In addition, carbonated beverages may increase the risk of osteoporosis. Researchers at the University of Saskatchewan found that the phosphoric acid in these beverages promotes calcium loss. This acid binds to the calcium in the human body, and prevents its absorption into the blood. They also found that caffeine in carbonated beverages decreases bone mass, and increases the risk of hip fracture.
New research at the University of Cincinnati revealed that carbonated beverages cause diabetes and weight gain. Moreover, they increase the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. This risk is associated with people who drink carbonated beverages sweetened with either sugar or fructose.

The substances found in these beverages are very harmful. Most of these substances are added to many of the most popular carbonated beverages. For example, caffeine is a mildly addictive, stimulant drug. And artificial colorings promote deficit hyperactivity disorder in some children. Other colorings in carbonated beverages cause hives, asthma, and other allergic reactions. Also the sugar content of carbonated beverages contributes to problems with teeth.
It is wise to eliminate carbonated beverages. They should be substituted with healthier drinks, although people love them for their affordability and good taste. In addition, many available drinks will improve health instead of cause illness.

Even though carbonated beverages taste good, people must eliminate them from their meals. Being effected with any of the diseases previously mentioned is an issue people should consider. Furthermore, carbonated beverages can easily be substituted with healthier drinks. For example, fruit juice and milk are not only affordable and taste good, but they are also healthy. Because carbonated beverages cause many serious illnesses, individuals of all ages must eliminate them from their meals.


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Answer 1

A research proved that carbonated beverages are bad for the health. Cancer is one of the many illnesses of these beverages cause. Because carbonated beverages are harmful to the human health, people must eliminate them from their meals.
A carbonated drink is a beverage that has carbon dioxide dissolved in it. This is done to improve its taste, texture, or both. All carbonated beverages and carbonated plain water have that problem.
Carbonated beverages cause many serious illnesses. They increase esophageal cancer. Researchers in Tata hospital found a strong correlation between the consumption of carbonated drinks and the increased rates of esophageal cancer. Due to the large consumption of those drinks, the rate of esophageal cancer will increase.