Questions for "Older" Women regarding men.?

Question

What qualities in men do you think are overrated and underrated by younger women?

Knowing what you know now, would you have placed a greater or lesser importance on certain qualities when you were younger? If so, what?

I have had a few married women tell me that they wished they married a guy like me. Not sure what to make of it.

I should have added, I was in NO way tempted to get involved with a married women. A decent relationship is hard enough (but very rewarding) without that added factor. I was curious if it was just a grass-is-greener comment, or something more specific.

Answer 1

I think younger women overrate looks the most. In time we learn that it's the eyes of love that make someone look beautiful. And the handsomest man doesn't look so great viewed through eyes of disappointment and hurt.

The other thing I think younger people overrate is physical attraction. There is so much more to a working relationship that "chemistry" doesn't really affect one way or the other.

The two things that I think younger women underrate are: 1) having a true connection with a partner - when you feel their closeness to you on subtle deep levels. There's nothing as damaging as feeling that you are calling out to someone in your soul and they can't hear you, for year after year.

And 2) having a partner that really likes you as a person, independent of the roles (wife, mother, hostess, housekeeper, etc) that you play in their life, and that you truly admire and respect as a human being in return.

Answer 2

I think young girls like succesful men, as do "older" women, but the definition of success changes. The challenge young women face is seeing the difference between those qualities that define success in a young man and those that translate into success in the long run.

The captain of the football team, with a big allowance from mom and dad, might be a prize in high school but a complete loser 10 or 30 years later.

But looks, money and charm are ALWAYS what we want, at any age.

As for those married wome teling you that... The grass is always greener. My guess is they are just being nice, too.

Answer 3

Under rated by a country mile is honesty.
But I don't think that when we are younger we recognize honesty as the attractive quality it becomes the older we get.

To be able to ask your husband/partner a question and KNOW that they are answering with love and honesty is just the best. To know that you are not being told what you want to hear just to please you - someone who has the courage to tell you something you may not want to hear - brave! - and honest!

Looks - much over rated - but I think that is because when we are young we are to impress our 'friends' as much as anything - our boyfriends MUST be good looking! I now know that EVERYONES looks change - although I think both my husband and I are LOADS better looking now!

Money - its the MOST over rated commodity - I have been very very rich and lonely and in a dreadful relationship - and i have been very very very poor and had the best sex - no food, just sex! - so I could live with that! And now I have the best of everything - with an average sized wallet!

You sound like the king of guy that women love to have as a friend - but you sound a little lonely - I don't know why I say that - but you know what - take what these ladies say as one of the best compliments that you could have - but being a friend is one thing ........... you sound as though you have a lot more to offer than just friendship -are you sure that you are not just hanging around these lady friends of yours hoping one of them might think a little more of you?

That rarely happens you know - because women treasure friends much more than lovers - and a lot of women would not risk losing you as a special friend by taking you as a lover and it maybe going wrong.

Stay friends but cast your net a little wider - make one special lady as happy as the many that you already befriended!

Very interesting question though - made me think - sorry I digressed somewhat!
In fact you are so nice - duck! Here comes a star for you!!!

Answer 4

ermmm, I'm in my 30s, does that qualify?

i think younger women rate looks, clothes, cars, and macho bullsh!t, however, when you get older you realise these are all superficial, and highly likely to change at any given time.

now all we want is some one thoughtful, a good talker, good listener, fun (without the idiocy), and (for me anyway) the willingness to hop on a plane to go somewhere they never have been before, and the willingness to try something new, such as food and drink, places, films etc. but that is because I've known too many men who were unwilling to try something different or new.

maybe the married women think you would have made a good husband because you may actually listen to them, you'd be surprised, as i am constantly, at the number of people who just don't listen

Answer 5

When I was younger it was important to me to be with someone who was popular and looked good etc etc, but as you get older its more important to find someone who makes you laugh, treats you with respect, someone you click with, but still have an attraction to. The only thing is really 'nice' men can be boring and I know I have an attraction for men with some passion and drive in them. Men who are successful are also attractive and not always in a finacial sense but just someone who works hard, puts effort into all that they do and enjoys life, grabs oportunities that come their way. As a younger woman I never would have noticed qualities like this in a man it would have been all about looks. To find someone attractive is a wonderful but attractiveness comes in many different forms, not just what you look like.

Answer 6

I would never even consider dating a younger guy. Youth is overrated.

As a business woman, I don't have time for the drama,games and immaturity. And when have you come across a younger guy that is financially secure? I'm not looking for another liability. Older men have had the time to age like fine wines.

As for looks, I've seen men in their 40's -50's That look better than kids in their twenties, even early thirties.

BTW...take it from me...don't waste your time on a married person. Not worth the effort or mental toil!

Answer 7

Wow! If I only knew then, what I know now. I think a mistake most people make when we are younger is putting way too much stock in looks, physical attraction, and popularity.
I know for myself that I look at people now that I wouldn't have given the time of day too and wonder what I was thinking. Maybe they weren't the most popular or best looking but they were descent people then and descent people now.
Hope that helps.

Answer 8

i think younger women place more importance in what "others" think
looks, what they bought for them, superficial stuff

i am more concerned with how we make each other feel and could care less about what anyone else thinks


what i did learn was, stop waiting and asking for something he is not capable of,,, it will never happen

Answer 9

Looks is what we always go by first, but looks do change! The inner man is very important - kindness, being respectful, and unselfishness is most important!

Answer 10

one major trait, kindness, and not just towards me, but the world in general,,,, and that in itself , to me, is the biggest difference, i think younger women look at how the man is treating them, they also make excuses for certain behavior,, as we mature,,,,,, we look at how the man approaches life and people in general,,,,,, and we know to watch for signs,, and to not make excuses
also, a "hard-working" attitude, and not just about a job/career,,,,, but at life in general,,,, its important a man understands that life takes work, whether relationships or a home, etc