i hear and read all of these stories about couples being unfaithful to each other and it scares me and makes me not want to get married for that fact? because i dont want to put everything into a relationship and then end up getting screwed? is this weird? should i get over it and trust my partner?
2007-05-14 04:06:12 · 15 answers · asked by Kelly*Belly 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you want to have a meaningful and trustful relationship with someone you're going to have to put yourself out their. No one says you have to have a legal document to have a successful long term relationship with someone. Marriage is something two committed people do to solidify their commitment. Anything worth doing is worth doing right. If you remember that no matter whether you have that piece of paper or not relationships are work. Lots of work. The longer you're together different challenges you will face. If you don't put yourself out their then you'll end up alone. It's your choice. Be by yourself or take a chance that you might find someone to spend your life together with (marriage certificate or not). It's ok to be apprehensive and it's not weird in the least to be scared of the examples around you. Remember communication is the key. This is the basic foundation along with problem solving that will determine how well your relationships will be. Be with someone who meets your needs on these levels. That's the key to a good relationship.
2007-05-14 04:24:42 · answer #1 · answered by Orion 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not weird to feel that way. It's hard to fully trust someone when you know they've lied in the past. I guess it would all have to do with whether or not you totally trust the person. Because what if you go your whole life rejecting the idea of marraige, and you end up being 80 and still alone, simply because you couldn't trust your lover. I grew up with relationship issues, because my parents split when I was ten, because my dad was cheating. It ruined our family unity, and I never want to put my own children through that kind of pain. The only problem is that my future wife might not share that same perspective. Even though you know you'll never cheat on your partner, you never wholely know if you might get cheated no in the future. You're not alone in being afraid of a failed marraige, but all you can do is trust your partner, because if you never trust them, then why should they trust you. Be Careful, but don't push him away if he doesn't deserve it. If he does deserve it, then do what you gotta do.
2007-05-14 12:23:38 · answer #2 · answered by Johnny Afman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just asked my boyfriend that very question! Last month he asked me to marry him, and I was totally freaked out by the idea, first I loved it and said "yes", then I totally weirded out and asked him to "take it back", and told him I didn't think we were even ready for a question like that. I do actually love the thought of being his wife forever. Since I was a little girl and knew of my parents divorce, I have told myself all these years since then that I will NEVER get married. Marriage is bad, or so I claimed because of what I knew first hand of it as a child from a broken home, but since then I've seen some very happy couples and have even heard of 60th wedding anniversary's!! Check that out!! Wowee! If I could have that I'd be the happiest woman on the planet. Trust is HUGE, if you trust him now, and love him, don't be afraid.
It is not wrong to not want to get married, you're just careful. You'll probably be just as careful IN your marriage!!
2007-05-15 16:44:04 · answer #3 · answered by Curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you find a trusting partner you will get over it by itself. Since you've noticed the "stream' I think that your instinct will choose the right partner. But be aware that unfaithfullness is not the only hard sin. How to prepare for that? It is then you will have put everything and experience hell just to take a small bite of the good stuff. So don't afraid. Patience and open mindedness are very powerfull tools and you will be secure engaging them everytime it is necessary.
2007-05-14 11:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by Wintermute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you should not other peoples failure in marriage influence you. Marriage is not for everyone. Certain medications are not for everyone. Some people are allergic and get a nasty reaction. The same applies to marriage. Make you own decision as to whether is good not only for you but for the mate that you chose. Chose wisely, chose carefully. Do not fantasize. If he is not the one, don't marry him. You just make sure that when you find "the one",you are all you should be as a woman to this man.
2007-05-14 11:14:45 · answer #5 · answered by Belinda O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just asking whether or not u should trust ur partner should be a reason enough to know not to get married just yet. Trust issues are already coming into play ... not good. Marriage isnt all its cutt up to be .. dont even contemplate it.
2007-05-14 11:36:47 · answer #6 · answered by memyslf&I 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I find marriage as being an outdated ceremony.
But there are people that have this fantasy of "happily ever after."
If marriage scares you, and the divorce rates and infidelity are enough to make you shy away from marriage, then hold off.
2007-05-14 11:12:53 · answer #7 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look...a guy is going to cheat regardless of whether you are married to the jerk or not. reality is that if he cheated on you while married, he was probably cheating you before you got married. that's just how it is.
love is a shot you have in life. either you take a chance and learn to trust someone or you don't. the hardest thing in life is to let yourself be happy. either you trust the guy...or you move on to someone you can trust. i hate to say it..but it can be easy to move on if you let it.
2007-05-14 11:19:36 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he is going to cheat he will wither your married or not. You can't waste you days on what ifs. What if you don't get screwed?Trust him till he gives you reasons not to.
2007-05-14 11:11:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready to get married, then dont. Also dont worry about such things. When the time is right, you will proceed accordingly.
2007-05-14 11:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋