ok i will give you all the short version .... it will be a year that hubby and i have been seperated we are now going for a divorce ... but in the year that we were apart .. he hooked up with a girl that was a friend of both of ours ... ( he is 47 she is 33) he is now moving in with her and my son is there with them .. i know for a fact and i have seen with my own eyes that she treats her kids like crap and i do not want my son to go threw this or even be a witness to it ... please keep in mind i am in canada and they are in the usa ... my son does not want to do school here cus his friends are in the usa ( my son is 13) .. my question is should i have some sort of invesigation done on her or if anyone has any idea let me know ... thanks
2007-05-14 02:38:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Then move to where they are so you can let your son go to school with his friends as well as keep an eye on the lady.
2007-05-14 02:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by treasuredwife69 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have more rights than she does, actually you have all the rights on your own child. So if you WANT something for your child, for his own good, you have the right (and obligation) to do it. This, of course does not solve the problem "what to do". In this problem there is a conflict of 2 interests: yours and your son's.
(Your husband and his new girl are not an issue because they did what they did and she does not bear any responsibility for your son, she is just "around" him, have no rights nor obligations on him.)
So you should talk to your son and both make up a solution which would be acceptable for both of you. But you should know if he is allright with his dad and this woman there and you should give him emotional and all other supports that you think are appropriate. He is not a baby, but he is not an adult. However he will be an adult one day and never be baby again, so direct your thinking considering this.
2007-05-14 03:38:02 · answer #2 · answered by Wintermute 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can hire an investigator if that will give you peace but the harsh truth is that is very hard to prove neglect or abuse on children unless if some kind of physical or sexual abuse. I've seen many cases where one parent tried to prove the other one was not giving the child a good home and didnt succeed. Your son is old enough to speak out so i suggest just talk to him and see what he says...if he wants to still stay there with them that means that she really not mistreating him.
2007-05-14 02:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by Meche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he traded you in for a younger model and now you are using this "treats her kids like sh it" stuff as a way to get him back. If you are so concerned, take it to the judge and file for full custody. The courts will decide if you are right or full of sh it!
Nothing is worse then when bitter divorced people use their kids as a weapon against their ex!
2007-05-14 02:52:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless she is torturing her son the courts don't give a crap. Obviously you married a man who has no morals (shacking up in the presents of his own child). Please move to the USA and live close by so you can keep in touch with your son. If you say you "can't" then you care more about yourself then your son.
2007-05-14 02:45:27 · answer #5 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who lets a 13 year old kid tell them what he's gonna do? You are the parent, YOU make the decisions, and do what's best for him.
If you're not mother enough to take him with you, you really have no room to criticize anyone else.
2007-05-14 02:46:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
at 13 I think your son is old enough to watch his back...... if what you say is true, then you might want to , in a subtle way, talk to your son..... just remind him that you are always there to talk, he can tell you anything, if he changes his mind the light is on and the door open for him to come to you, etc....... tell him you are trusting him to keep you up to date about ALL aspects of his life........ he is a young man and you have to trust him some when it comes to his life.....talk to him as much as you can and monitor his life as best you can...... do NOT push or pester him ...... dont even let him know the whys of your concerns...... just keep that line of communication open............ God bless
2007-05-14 02:51:26 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the mother and it doesn't matter what a 13 year old child wants, only needs. Second, you don't send your 13 year old child to live with his adulterous father who is shacked up with his children neglecting hoe. Don't fall victim to others depravity. You are the mother. Mother.
2007-05-14 02:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by kyle g 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son is old enough to say something if he doesn't like being there. Lighten up and start your own life. Your son will be alright.
2007-05-14 02:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your divorce is not final & your husband is moving in with another woman?? In most states this is infidelity- Because you two are still legally bound to one another & children should not be exposed to their shacking up...?? I would check into this a bit further.. it might bide you some time..
2007-05-14 02:49:27 · answer #10 · answered by darkness breeds 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋