I'm beginning to get bored by always doing the initiative of striking a conversation with my man. I know he's a silent type and i thought i could bear it coz even though he's not much into talking in person, he's very expressive in e-mails and texting. But now even his messages are becoming unintresting already. Its kinda generic or superficial. I think I have done my part of doing the first move always in this area of his personality. I initiate conversations as much as i can but does it have to be always me? he's becoming a 1 question 1 answer type of person. I hope i could still bear this for a long time. I've once told him about this issue but he just keeps quiet and says.."this is me...". Well being silent could be an advantage at some points but...hello! Am i talking to someone here (a husband for that matter)? Of course he talks too but i think i'm looking for a real conversation. I love him but this doesn't make me happy anymore. Can i still do somthing about it?
2007-05-14 02:30:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me that this guy is very shy and actually has a low self esteem. I think he doubts his worth to you and thinks you could do better than him. Telling him about his lack of engagement in conversation will destroy his confidence more so. I think he knows it bothers you already which is why he is saying less these days. Its going to take time so if you want him to open up you better be prepared to stick around. Nothing you say directly will sort this out, he needs to feel comfortable and safe in your relationship. This is done by him realising you want the person he is in your life. So more questions to be asked im afraid. Challenge his answers with smiles and eye contact, get him to want to put his opinion across. Little by little he will get better, i promise. I just hope you value him enough to make this effort. Good luck in making your decision
2007-05-14 02:44:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you feel my hubby is the same way. The only time he gets into a conversation is if its a subject he is passionate for or he is pissed! Hes not a man for chit chat. I kept getting mad for lack of conversation with him so I opened up a myspace account and we send each other little messages all the time even sent a pic or two to get him to come to bed and think hes making the first move!! If you want chit chat try to mention a subject he loves. If hes not a talker he wont talk nothing can be done. But find other ways to keep things going between you two. If hes more comfortable with emails have two computers and im each other. He may fear you getting upset or not understanding him when he does open up. If you love him try everything you can to make him comfortable to open up to you. Start slow!
2007-05-14 02:41:40 · answer #2 · answered by jozoey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yet ANOTHER example of a woman marrying a man expecting him to change. You thought you could bear it but now you're telling yourself you can't stand it. Stop telling yourself irrational things, and you will feel better. You can stand your husband not talking. Need conversation? Go talk to somebody else! By telling yourself that he "should" talk to you, you are neglecting finding other ways to fulfill your needs. Stop exaggerating the significance of his communication style. It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.
2007-05-14 02:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Carry around conversation starters like a book called "20 Questions." Seriously. Gotta work at it. I guess he can't help or change who/how he is. Just accept that its your cross to bear that you have to initiate the deep conversations.
2007-05-14 02:37:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are just by nature quiet, and others, like you , are talkers. It just sounds like you are a mismatched pair. There's one thing that you eventually conclude in life, and that is that you can't change people. What you see is what you get. Si either learn to enjoy him the way he is or let him go.
2007-05-14 02:38:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez...just tell him.
So he is a one answer type of guy. If you want to talk to him about a certain thing, start the question off being an open question. That way you can reply to his answer.
2007-05-14 02:36:59 · answer #6 · answered by Magicman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should be the silent one for a while and see what happens, he might just take you for granted in that you are happy with the way things are
gd luck, xx
2007-05-14 02:35:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be quiet for a while--week or two if necessary. See what happens.
2007-05-14 02:34:09 · answer #8 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counselling would help.
2007-05-14 02:35:19 · answer #9 · answered by Klingon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him about it seriously,and if u are that un happy leave before u blow up
2007-05-14 02:36:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋