This happened years ago but i'm bringing this up cuz this has always bothered me. YEARS ago, me and this girl were really good friends. I dated this guy all throughout my senior year and the following year during our first year in college. I got pregnant with his child and he didnt want this baby - neither did my parents. they all made me have an abortion. it was horrible and was a basket case for a long time... anyhow obviously we broke up but I still loved this guy for a very long time until i met my husband. 3 years later i ended up getting married to soon find out that this girl that I thought was my best friend told me she was dating my ex! I acted like I didnt care in front of her but when I was driving home I was devastated and felt almost betrayed! I mean i know i shouldnt have been mad because of me being married but still. years have passed and have still resented her for that. but i havent told her. its an old subject but have often wondered if its normal to be upset.
2007-05-13 19:58:13 · 14 answers · asked by Girl Next Door 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thank you brook! I totally thought the same thing too! Thanks so much!
2007-05-13 20:02:59 · update #1
No they arent together anymore... honestly I dont think it lasted but a few months.. she is now married herself... i thought it was funny how her husband is a flirt but yea you are right about looking back... its stupid to look back but have often wondered why i got so mad.. i really felt stupid for being mad and upset but those were my feelings at the time
2007-05-13 20:08:30 · update #2
I think it's normal -- being married doesn't mean we stop having feelings about people we were previously involved with. I also feel that your "friend" should have stuck with the unspoken code that you don't date a friend's boyfriend, but it has been a fairly long time since your breakup so you really can't blame her.
But just don't question your feelings - it is normal and it doesn't diminish your feelings for your husband.
Take care --
2007-05-13 20:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by chequamegon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me on this response: I swore up and down I'd marry my high school sweetheart. Couldn't imagine life without him like you are feeling. We had these big ideas, big plans. After a year, we split up. Now at 31 and having found him on Facebook we're two entirely different people. He's married to someone else and so am I. Point is: Give it about 5 years when you've both been through more life experiences and college. You'll find you both change quite a bit in those 5 years. When I was 18 I thought I had life figured out. Thirteen years later I find out how wrong I was. If your love is meant to last forever then you'll wait those five years and then decide if marriage is something you want. I don't mean to discourage you but I'd bet money that by the time you're both 21 you will have both moved on. Happens more often than you're probably willing to accept.
2016-05-17 12:02:47 · answer #2 · answered by valeria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's VERY normal to be upset because you have a lot of sticky history with this guy! Still if she's dating him now, let it go. He's probably grown up a bit and maybe they could find happiness together. You've already gotten married. You've found your perfect man. If you keep living your life by looking in the rear view mirror, you're gonna hit a wall right in front of you! Just cry a couple times, get it all out, and then make the commitment to move forward.
2007-05-13 20:05:28 · answer #3 · answered by the_ivy_vine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I definitely feel for your situation...and what you went through. I am curious to know how much time has passed...at least 5 right? Anywho, generally I would say that it is never ok to date a friends ex...regardless of wheter or not they gave their blessing so to speak! Why would anyone want to? I would never do something like that...personally. I would talk to her about. HOnesty is the best policy...I hope she understands but I am doubtful...I think she should have told you immediately that she was wanting to date your ex...but talk to her about it -maybe after telling her how you feel will make you feel so much better...remember...just because two people are looking at the same picture doesn't mean they see the same thing! Good luck!
2007-05-13 20:09:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are more upset at the fact that this guy betrayed you and your baby and your best friend knew this so why in the world would she go with him, this is natural, but after all this time and you are still upset maybe you should talk with your friend openly about it, but in a calm and humble fashion, I think if you open your heart and confess to her your resentment and show that you want to fix this "cancer" that is eating you up, your friendship will grow stronger and you will be able to let go of this persisting resentment, it is not good for your health
2007-05-13 20:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like YOU did the wrong. If you weren't over the guy who got you pregnant, then you shouldn't have got married. Neither your best friend, or your ex should have to not be together. You got married and moved on, why can't they?
By the way, are they still together? Lot's of people date, and experiment with other partners before they settle down...it's a part of life
2007-05-13 20:08:46 · answer #6 · answered by sharkgirl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You feel what you feel. That doesn't mean others will share your feelings. What's important is they're your feelings and you are entitled to have them. But it sounds like these feelings are interfering with part of your life. When feelings begin to interfere with your daily life it's time to re examine them and consider changing how your feel. Your girl friend didn't begin dating your ex because she wanted to hurt you. She dated him, and he dated her because they were attracted to each other. You got married to somebody who attracted you, at least at the time you got married. It sounds like you are thinking of dumping your current hubby and going for the ex bf. And your old girl friend is interfering with this plan. Well, that does make it difficult. Either your gf will marry or will break up with the guy. Either he will be interested in you or not. But keep your operations in order. First, if you're unhappy with your Hubby, get divorced. Then you will be free. Perhaps your ex bf will be available by then, or, when he learns that you are again single, he will come knocking at your door. One way to find out.
2007-05-13 20:08:12 · answer #7 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you never got over him. This is NOT a good omen for your marriage. Although “brook” makes a good point about not dating best friends exes it shouldn’t have had the effect on you that it did, if you really loved your husband.
2007-05-13 20:17:03 · answer #8 · answered by whiner_cooler 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You married someone else ...you do not have a right to get mad at her. Your ex sounds like a clod anyway. I bet she is not with him, if she is I bet she is not happy..go on with your own life and forget the kid stuff from the past...it's time you grew up. Good Luck
2007-05-13 20:04:06 · answer #9 · answered by gigigal906 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok...well obviously u still have a soft corner for that ex of urs ..and that female friend of urs hasnt done anything wrong by dating your ex ..first of all u need to realize that u r married and u should not be worried about someone dating ur ex..if u want ur ex then get a divorce and then date ur ex..just dont spoil ur marriage or ur husbands life ..ur putting urself in a bad position by still having feelings about ur ex..think about ur husband ..he is YOUR PRESENT ..forget ur past..Get over it ..
2007-05-13 20:02:17 · answer #10 · answered by Mike R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋