I am very unhappily married and I had a 5-1/2yr affair with a married man. We were very good friends and decided that this relationship would work for us as we are committed to raising our families and both of us did not want to divorce our respective spouses. Then I found out he was cheating with at least one other woman. His wife told me. I confonted the new girlfriend and found out so many lies he told me. I even found out he had sex with her and then to me and then to his wife all in one day. Instead of facing me and apologizing, he just avoided me. He lied his way out of the trouble he was in with his wife (she wants so desperately to believe he is faithful..) and is back to his normal life with absolutely no repurcussions. I, on the other hand, have been crushed and am having a hard time moving on. I want him to take responsibility for what he has done and not get off scott free. How do I get past these feelings of revenge?
2007-05-13 19:37:30 · 17 answers · asked by kovacgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Forgive him and get on with your own life. without him in it! Where he goes from this point on has no bearing on your own life's direction. Brush off and move on. Continuing to waste your vital energy on what he's done or doing inhibits your ability to progress. Take some of that energy and devote it to your own marriage. I'm not saying that it will but it very well MAY improve your situation if you gave some energy to it.
Be good to yourself! Be done with him
2007-05-13 19:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by Heathery Lane 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hey karma's a B****. Grow up already. You have the nerve to say he lied to you. Yes but it's ok to for you to lie and do the dirty behind your husbands back . I do not feel in any way sorry for you, it's a clear case of you reap what you sew. The only person in the situation that should have any feelings of revenge is his wife and your husband. It seems that its all about you, never mind that when you cheat on your husband you also cheat on your kids. You want him to take responsibility for what he did and not get off scott free, take responsibility for yourself (lady) he does not have much to lose if his wife told you about his affair, she knows he slept with both you and the other women and is still with him despite that, on the other hand you do because he could tell your husband. Leave it alone and move on and learn from this. He was using you like you were using him.
2007-05-14 01:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by happytree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT! I hope you are kidding! What right do you have to feel upset? You made a choice to get together with a man that was already unfaithful to a woman that he married, what made you think you deserved more than an innocent woman? Especially since he made it clear to you that he had no intentions to leave his wife, which means he had no intentions to be faithful to you and who are you to deserve somebody faithful?!
There are so many things that I could write here but I am trying not to judge you to harshly. So the best I can say is grow up and stop only thinking about yourself. You have to be one of the most selfish, irresponsible, ignorant people I have ever seen post! Start thinking about your children and husband, INSTEAD OF YOURSELF!
You need to seek a psychiatrist because your actions and feelings can definately not get answered on the internet.
2007-05-13 19:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by Chasity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you have gotten yourself into a rather silly mess---what did you think it was going to be?? You did the wrong thing with the wrong guy--and you want revenge-??? You need to straighten out your life, cheating doesn't do it. Cheating is disrespectful, uncaring, not at all dignified, and comes from some childish desire to take the easy way out--the whole thing is immature, and dangerous.He lied?? Well you are a liar too--so what?? You lied to your husband--instead of getting the problem fixed, you decided to take the easy way out---you lied to your husband and yourself---so grow up and start doing the right thing.
2007-05-13 20:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your life sounds like a replica of my own. First off, you are married, and seeking revenge on another married man.. As Dr Phil would say... STop That. Get out of the marriage you are in.. Leave the cheating b/f to his own demise, and he was not worth it anyway if you really stop and think about it. Why would you wish to be in a relationship with another cheater. Trust me, if he cheats on his wife, he will cheat on you! Same for you.. but if you are in a bad marriage, the best is to get out of it!
As for the revenge, why are you seeking revenge? He is a cheat...and will always be.
2007-05-13 19:51:37 · answer #5 · answered by R. W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you have any rights to have this kind of revenge... as you are the one who is cheating to a married man. For God sake, think about his wife's and your husband's feeling instead of you, dont you feel sorry for them. Let him back to his normal life, move on girl, you have your own family to take care of.
2007-05-13 19:52:04 · answer #6 · answered by "LuckyStar" 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont think revenge. it takes two to tango. you both are consenting adults it so happens that he really is good at what he does best. that is to get to lie and go scott free. have sex and live and forget about it. my advise is try to work out your marriage if you still can or live a life you like and be happy. find another man to satisfy your needs. grow up and be happy. revenge wont get you nowhere
2007-05-13 19:46:48 · answer #7 · answered by jomat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do expect from some scumbag who cheats on his wife? Why does he need to appoligize to you for anything? The only one who desevres an apology is his wife,and your husband. You got in return what you were doing to your spouses,and neither of you deserve any respect.
2007-05-13 19:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can get over those feelings by taking stock and being grateful that you are not the one the revenge is being measured out to. Karma will be coming to you, maybe not in the same manner you acquired it, so when that something horrible happens in your life, remember not to say "WHY ME!"
2007-05-13 19:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So it's ok for him to cheat with you when you are both married, but it's not ok for him to cheat with someone else? Hun, you've done this to yourself. I don't feel sorry for you, I feel sorry for his poor wife. As for feelings of revenge, I know YOU'D be the brunt of my revenge if you slept with my husband. Stop being self-absorbed and see you are just as much at fault as he is.
2007-05-13 19:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by kmlloveplant 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋