If people are born gay as some claim, then how are many homosexuals able to successfully leave the lifestyle?

Question

Some have equated homosexuality with ethnicity, that it is something that cannot be changed. Obviously, you cannot change your ethnicity. However, many gays have willingly left the homosexual lifestyle and now lead very successful heterosexual lives.

Need proof and examples? There are plenty of them.

http://exodus.to/content/blogcategory/20/149/

I find it so ironic about how many people get upset or are offended by this question. There was absolutely no ill intent with this question whatsoever, yet many have still somehow found offense to this resorting to 3rd grade name-calling, and criticism. Such are the ways of left-wing liberals. Where's the tolerance you people preach?

Answer 1

Great question.

I would expect a lot of responses from people living in a wet place in Egypt, (denial).

So is it a "fact" that people are born gay? Did the scientific community agree on it, thus making it true....like global warming, (oh!! so sorry! I mean "Climate Change")

Belief of this sort is a religion, not provable one way or the other.

Answer 2

They don't work. Studies show that those programs have a 0.4% to 0.6% success rate.

I'm pretty sure a number of the men at the top of the chain of those organizations aren't homosexual at all, they just lie so they can get money.

One dude is on youtube, and I'm not emotional at all, but my heart broke some because he said he lost his faith by using one of these programs, check it out http://youtube.com/watch?v=PDn7cEgxvtg

What you claim is a sham. No homosexual can be cured, unless he's possibly bisexual, and just decides to be with women, in which case he wasn't gay to begin with.

The programs all work with negative reinforcement, they either tell you that gay is bad, and that you should be ashamed, or they use physical pain, like with electroshock(not really used that much anymore). But once you remove that physical or emotional pain, which is the negative reinforcement, people revert back to their old life. It's not something you can maintain. Plus now you often see men who still admit to being gay, but they're just married to women, which is very very sad for the women.

Oh and as I recall, one of the men who leads the exgay movement is an unlicenced therapist. He's not a psychiatrist, not a therapist, he's unlicenced.

That's like me going out and preaching that women should be in the kitchen, and shaming them to be in the kitchen, and just saying that well I'm an unlicensed therapist, that gives me some magical right and some magical insight into people's psyches, even though it's unlicensed, which means I never went through the schooling for it.

One last thing, if it is this simple, then it works both ways. So maybe it's time to shame straight men into going gay. We don't need more people on the planet anyways right? I'll call it the GoGay movement.

Oh wait, they'd end up in longterm gay relationships, but with absolutely no lust or love, and likely end up depressed and maybe suicidal, and their partners won't be very happy.

Yup, wonderful thing that change, that conforming to the more common, just to make others feel somehow more comfortable.

Breaks my heart that people are so easily swindled.

Answer 3

I would have to see a proven example of this as I know of no homosexuals that "successfully left the lifestyle". I feel there's an extreme loophole in this argument! You say "many" gays have left the lifestyle and don't even back your argument up with examples. It's a small community...if "many" homosexuals left the gay community there would be no community!

Last time I checked the latest word in the community wasn't "Well Miss Cartier we lost another one to the breeders!" But again I would have to see a proven example because I don't know of any gays turning straight.

Answer 4

I agree with the first person who said, and I quote, "There's a difference between changing who you are and supressing your true self by putting on a beard." This is very true.

However, I also do not buy the claim that people are born homosexual. (And I am bi-sexual. Just throwing that out there so people will know that I am not biased against homosexuality.)
People will argue that no one chooses to be gay. They are correct. No one chooses to be heterosexual either for that matter. Sexuality is not a conscious choice. Various factors contribute to a person's sexuality. It isn't a choice, but it isn't inborn either.
People can quote scientists and studies until pigs fly, but there is no conclusive proof that people are born homosexual. Sexuality is not hereditary. Sexuality is not inborn. It is learned. Science actually confirms just how COMPLEX human behavior is moreso than isolating the causes of it. Even the gay and pro-gay press acknowledges the problems with the "born gay" arguement.

Answer 5

Sexual orientation is a very tricky thing to get to the "root" of in terms of what causes it and how it can change. I prefer to look at it as an aspect of our personalities and lives that grows and changes with us, just like our many other likes/dislikes and characteristics. I will always be a woman who is attracted primarily to other women of a particular style and character, but I'm not saying that a man is never going to come along who turns my head. That would just be statistically improbable.

On the other hand, the idea of a concerted effort to change one's sexual orientation is usually tied up in guilt, fear, conservative family baggage, religious extremism, and self-loathing. It's not about wanting to teach yourself to broaden your horizons and find the opposite sex attractive - it's about not wanting to be a "f-ggot", if you understand the subtle difference in these two motivating factors.

I'm sure that if a gay person just decided they wanted to give straight a shot it wouldn't move the earth. And don't forget that there's a difference between living an out-gay lifestyle and identifying as gay. One can be gay and not participate in gay culture.

And what does it mean to be a succesful heterosexual, anyway? Contentment with an opposite sex partner? Having children? These things can be achieved in a straight relationship by two people who might not identify as heterosexual, 100% of the time.

Answer 6

Homosexuality is not either/or. There are various degrees and types of homosexuality. Some are bi-sexual, for example. The fact that some can give up homosexual activity should in now way be considered some powerful form of evidence that all should be able to do so, except for religious types who have no ability to think. Surely you are able to think for yourself and recognize this fact.

Answer 7

"However, many gays have willingly left the homosexual lifestyle and now lead very successful heterosexual lives."

Name 20. You know that is a lie. One thing that is true, heterosexuals have a niche on divorce & illegitmate children. That's something to be proud about ... GD hypocrites.

Answer 8

Unless you're one of them,how would you know it's successful? You don't know what they do at night,or how they're feeling inside. I'm bi,and was in a same sex relationship,and dated only women. But I've been married to men,and am in a relationship right now with a man. That doesn't mean I don't still desire women,just means I happen to be in love with someone of the opposite sex.

Answer 9

You have said it yourself - they leave the "lifestyle" (whatever that means). That either means they were confused or are denying their true selves to conform. People are born gay but others experiment and some will sleep with anyone. Does this deny the validity of the experiences of real gay people - of course not.

By the way, posting something with the sole intention to be offensive and provoke is immature and unnecessary.

Answer 10

I agree, many gay ppl have left the "lifestyle", but I doupt anyone has ever changed their sexual orientation. They will always struggle w/ it in their minds. The whole idea of having to "change" to be acceptable, or even to not want to be gay and "fighting" it is extremely sad, and I applaud anyone that can survive anything to do w/ homosexuality.

Answer 11

If no one is born gay, then everyone is born susceptible to same sex attractions. If you can get every straight person in the world (including you), to tell me that they are at least sometimes attracted to persons of the same sex but don't act on those feelings of attraction, then I might agree that everyone is born with the same sexual orientation- bisexual. I know, and you know, that there are many straight men who are never going to admit that.
Whether it is or isn't a choice is a matter of indifference to me. I am not bothering you nor am I harming society. The only choice I make is not to let other people's religious-guided morality interfere with my life when:
1) I'm not, as I said, harming either them or society, and
2) I don't happen to believe in their religion and
3) if I don't follow your religion and I'm not harming you I'm not going to pay any attention to your moralizing.