how can I stop my mother from blackmailing me?

Question

I'm 20 with a 4 month old daughter, I'm living in a small town with my family right now, I plan to move back to the city with my daughter to live with my boyfriend. My mother does not want me to do this and plans to go to my boyfriend with information from the past that would ruin our relationship if I try to leave, I could really use some advice, anything that could stop her from doing this, thanks

Answer 1

I'm sure your boyfriend loves you enough not to care about your past. If he DOES, then he's not a very good boyfriend.

However, you could tell him that your mother just made that up to keep you two from living together. Tell him the truth. She's crazy.

Answer 2

There is not a lot you can ever do to prevent a person from disclosing information to someone else. Sorry.

The best thing you could do is to warn the boyfriend, and decide, when you do, whether or not to tell him before your mom does.

As painful as it may be, that might be the best course of action to take, because she could still try to use the information against you after you move in with your boyfriend.

You say the information could ruin your relationship. I don't know what you could have possibly gotten into, but wouldn't telling him be better than having that threat follow you around, never knowing when your mom might act?

You have some thinking to do, but don't delay too long, or your mom could beat you to it.

If your boyfriend truly loves you, he should forgive you. Then you can put this all behind you, and get on with your lives. At least your mom's threat will no longer have any power to worry you. Which will be a good thing.

Wish I had better news for you.

God bless you. And your mom. And may he help you decide what you should do.

Hope I helped.

Answer 3

If I was you, I would go have a no contact order put against her. The order should be stated that she cannot contact you at your place of employment, your child at the child care provider, your place of living, and have your boyfriend do the same thing. Once she gets the idea that you can stop her at her game, she will stop what she is doing now.
Check into your laws and see if there is a way you can keep her from seeing her grandchild. It is the grandparents rights law you need to find out about. Then let her know that if she is going to blackmail you that way, you will stop her from seeing her grandchild ever again.
Another hint, try and tape record her blackmailing you. It will help out a lot if you do have to go to such drastic measures.

Answer 4

If you know what your mother is going to say the best thing for you to do is tell your boyfriend yourself, because she will hold it over your head forever if you let her. By telling him yourself you will put more trust in your relationship and if it was in the past and if he really loves you he should be able to forgive and forget. Unless of course it's a secret like your daughter isn't his or something to that effect, in which case you should tell him anyway because that wouldn't be fair to your daughter, yourself, or him. If you tell him on your own then your mother will not have anything to blackmail you with and you will be able to tell her where to go and how to get there, if you get what I mean. And as hard as telling him may seem now just imagine how hard being blackmailed 10 years down the road will be and how much harder it will be to tell him then. Pray ask God for the strength and just do it. It will be less stress on your mind which will mean you will have more of yourself to give to your daughter.

Answer 5

Get everything in your past out of the way, so she has nothing to do that can hurt you. It always seems to help people when telling the truth, and like someone else said, he should rather here the truth coming from you than from someone else, if not then he is a bad boyfriend.

Answer 6

First, I would come completely clean with your boyfriend about your past. If he really loves you, you can work through anything. Second, I would sit down with your mother and discuss this issue she has. Your mother could actually be afraid of losing you. She'll be losing her baby and her grand baby and some mothers can't handle that.

Answer 7

YOUR MOM IS WRONG FOR WHAT SHE IS DOING BUT I THINK HER INTENTIONS ARE GOOD, THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT RIGHT. A CITY IS A HARD PLACE TO RAISE A CHILD, GENERALLY A SMALLER PLACE IS SAFER, I THINK BEFORE YOU MOVE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND REALLY THINK WHAT IS BEST FOR THE CHILD, THAT BABY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR LIFE AND ALWAYS WILL BE. EVEN IF YOU LOVE YOUR BOYFRIEND, AND WANT TO MOVE WITH HIM, IS IT WHATS BEST FOR YOUR CHILD? DOES THIS CHILD BELONG TO YOUR CURRENT BOYFRIEND? DOES HE HAVE A JOB, IS HE 100% RELIABLE, NOW IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WOULD NEVER LET YOU OR YOUR CHILD DOWN, AND YOU WANT TO MOVE TELL HIM THE SECRET YOURSELF, THE PAST IS THE PAST, AND A REAL MAN WILL UNDERSTAND THAT

Answer 8

Either blackmail her back, or find a way to tell your boyfriend yourself what happened. Make it seem like less a big deal, and when your mother tells him about it, claim that she's exaggerating and it's just a ploy to stop you from leaving.

Answer 9

ok. First, is this bf the father? Did he do something undesirable to you or reason worry interior the family contributors or something? maybe your mom is afraid for a solid reason and you comprehend why. maybe not. the two way, i might have a communication together with her and locate out precisely why she doesnt choose you to flow. And why she thinks its okay to act like a toddler approximately it. If the bf is a real stable guy, i might tell him that your mom is against the two certainly one of you mutually. tell him that she's already threatened to return between the two certainly one of you. As crappy because it sounds, he could hear your previous blunders from you first. Then if your mom does attempt to start crap, he would be waiting for her.

Answer 10

4get what they said b4 me ok..... talk to your boyfriend. if he TRUELY loves you he will 4give you

or if you dont think that will work which i hope it would

slowly start taking stuff with you as you go out and give it to your boifriend. then after everything is close to be moved out but the obvious stuff leave in the middle of the night w/ your daughter. if he is the father let her stay the night with him. it will be easier for you to leave. then just go. DHS/DSS can help with a new crib clothes etc. diappers. then like the one person said change your number po box/ mailing address etc.