Even on our wedding night, he didn't seem as enthusiastic as I thought. I'm feeling that he must have been disappointed or found me unattractive. I'm feeling really sad and that I've let him down.
2007-05-13 16:29:17 · 21 answers · asked by Newlywed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
was this your first time with him??? What culture is he from? Was he a virgin? Was this an arranged marrage? Pls move info. There could be several reasons for this.....
2007-05-13 16:33:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too hard on yourself. The problem is likely him, not you.
You may want to consider getting an annulment, but you must act quickly - the sooner the better. Consult a lawyer to do this, if it is your choice.
Better to talk with him frankly first, to see if you can work out the problem between you, before taking such drastic action.
However, your complaint is a very serious matter. Something is definately wrong here. Left alone, the problem will not resolve itself. Therefore, you must take action, or else resign yourself to an unhappy marriage and a miserable life.
Personally, I would try to work it out first, but depending on the answers I got from the other one, and depending on whether or not I thought that the problem could be effectively resolved, I would likely seek an annulment.
2007-05-13 16:40:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that you are having troubles so early in your marriage. For sure, you should simply ask your husband about it. Don't accuse him or make him feel guilty about it, just ask him if he would like to make love and if not, why?
Your husband may have thought he hurt you on your wedding night, he may be very busy at work right now, there could be so very many reasons why. Don't automatically shoulder the blame either. Maybe he has a very good reason for this behavior, you just need to find out what it is.
One of the first rules of a good marriage is open communication. And that is what I meant by not making him feel guilty or accusing him of not loving you or not finding you sexy. When you talk with him you can open the lines of communication up by finding out what he likes in bed, when he likes it, how he likes it, etc. This could turn out to be a very good experience for you two to talk about your sexual preferences now!
The very best of luck to you in your marriage and with your communications.
2007-05-13 16:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a reflection on you, but is a reflection on him. Try to communicate with him, and see what is going on with him. Do not take his inactivity personally. This is his problem that the two of you will need to work through. There are many reasons why he may be this way. He could be self conscious, or a low self esteem. You have not let him down! Tell him how you are feeling. If he wasn't attracted to you he would not have gotten to know you well enough to have a relationship. Let alone marry you!
2007-05-13 16:45:57 · answer #4 · answered by RT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some married couples available that are very distinctive human beings and that they don't have self assurance in monogomy. they suspect in swinging, or intercourse with individuals on a similar time as nonetheless being married. it quite is cool if that's what they want to do and that they have an settlement. besides the undeniable fact that, you ought to choose what you want. in case you like a fling and additionally you sense comfortable relationship a married guy, than choose for it. in case you're finally desiring a relationship than understand this guy will never want to marry you.
2017-01-09 19:29:51 · answer #5 · answered by reing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he an immigrant? Does he have a lot of Barbara Streisand Cd's? Did he have you sign some insurance papers? You need to ask him and he better have a good answer. He might just be using you and the marriage to gain something. I can tell you one thing it will not get better. I assure you that he is the one with a problem or is up to something. Find out quickly and if you are not satisfy ed then you can get an annulment. Do you have alot of money?
2007-05-13 17:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him and try to find out what is bothering him. Maybe he doesn't feel like he performed well and is embarrassed so reassure him you are learning together what pleases each of you and practice will make perfect *wink* Whatever you do, don't take the blame for whatever the problem is, as I doubt it's anything you did. Men's egos are fragile so handle with care and lots of love and try to get him to open up. Communication is so important in a marriage and hopefully you can open those lines. Will be keeping you in prayer :)
2007-05-13 16:37:19 · answer #7 · answered by KittyKat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't usually say things like this to people, but since you asked......Are you certain of his sexuality? Honey, he married you and he knows full well what you look like. I am very concerned that you are internalizing this as something you did. He may have just married as a cover, cause I can't think of ANY other reason why he will not be intimate with you. Most guys get a little turned on by inexperience and what they think they can teach you!! TALK TO HIM!!! You will not get your answer on here. I wish you good luck in this very new and already challenging union. You gotta talk to him.
2007-05-13 16:36:40 · answer #8 · answered by Monique B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a feeling it doesn't have much to do with you. This is probably something you should have checked out prior to getting married. If he isn't hitting it hard with you at this stage it will only get worse (if it could). He might be gay, or not like sex. Either way this is not the way you want to be married. Take care if this now, or you will not be happy.
You might want to think about having your marriage annulled.
2007-05-13 16:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And somewhere, elsewhere on Answers, your husband may be saying 'my new wife didn't enjoy it very much, I think I hurt her, she hasn't brought it up since then'.
Take off your clothes, get into bed with him, and stick your hand down his pants. You're married. ITs that easy.
2007-05-13 16:36:05 · answer #10 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋