After seven years of being together he has forgotten or not acknowledge my birthday over half of those years and never cares about mothers day. One year I had to take my kids to the store myself to buy me my mothers day presents. This year he took the kids out last night to go buy me some gifts and I just found out he bought himself a cd he has been wanting. I thought today was suppose to be about me? He even hid the CD from me- when the kids questioned him about it he said he had my permission...
What should I do? I just got laid off from my job but Im trying to get a new one. I didnt even buy myself something I really NEEDED not wanted tonight because funds are going to be way tight until payday.
Why is he so selfish and self centered? He said hes not... what else would you call it?
Do I have a right to be hurt? I feel very deceived and hurt right now. Should I leave after I get a job? What would you do? He claims to be a Christian but this isnt right behavior is it?
2007-05-13 15:52:58 · 19 answers · asked by mommabeags 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm a guy and I can tell you from my perspective he means no harm and perhaps just doesn't look at things in a materialistic way. I know from your perspective it looks bad, but I would say he just isn't educated in a woman's ways and is really not a bad guy.
2007-05-13 15:57:16 · answer #1 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first off, Happy Mothers Day. Sometimes people lose sight of how important motherhood actually is. After being together with someone for so long, some of the simplest things are forgotten and overlooked. I don't think terminating the marriage is a great idea, but then again, I don't know you personally or the situation in detail. I think the only thing you can do beside of course talking to him about it is seeing a marriage therapist. Either that or make yourself known! Speak up and let him know exactly how you are feeling. Its not fair and you shouldn't have to deal with it! Being a mother is very hard work, he needs to understand that! It sounds like there is no room for extravagant spending, and as an adult..he should certainly abide by a budget! As far as not agknowledging your b day for years now. There is no excuse for that. That is BS. You need to figure out if you two are still in love and if its worth saving. Good luck to you.
2007-05-13 16:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by LifeIsPeachy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me say, I understand.
When I was with my ex, we had a 6 month old baby, I was pregnant, and we had barely enough money to make it. He would cash his paychecks before I saw them, and he started pocketing bill money, and was putting it down as a deposit for an Xbox 360! He was lying about it of course.
Well, he brought it home the day before my birthday. What a surprise! Then, I didn't even get a card or a "Happy Birthday" the next day.
If this is his only problem, I would say maybe let it go. If this is one of many issues, you need counseling, or to kick his butt the curb! You don't need that.
Happy Mother's Day!! Your children DO appreciate you!
2007-05-13 16:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by BellaJ_DDils 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds a little immature. You guys must be young. Do not leave over this. On Fathers Day go shopping and buy yourself something and when he ask for his present just show it to him. Remember to ask if he likes it. Then drop it, he'll get the hint. Some guys are not good about buyng gifts but they are still good guys you may have to be real creative at gift giving times of the year. My husband was raised a Jehovahs Withness, I am Lutheran so I have dealt with this too. He never has bought gifts for birthdays, Christmas, Easter or anything else. My kids and I buy gifts and we just accept it that he doesn't do it and we get along fine. It will work out. Good luck.
2007-05-13 16:02:48 · answer #4 · answered by phylobri 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If things are so tight, why did you allow him take the kids shopping for a Mother's Day gift? Couldnt you have bought them some materials to make you a card or something? Your priorities are just as messed up as his. You can teach your kids to appreciate you in ways that do not require spending money to please you.
As far as he goes, he's not gonna change until he wants to. So, if you think his actions are intolerable and you cant stand it any longer, maybe you DO need to move on.
2007-05-13 16:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun- take a couple deep breathes. Calm down. Breath.
Happy Mothers Day!! Thank you for caring about your children and being the best mom you can be! You are loved! I love you for being a mom!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday! Happy belated Birthday!!
Being mad at him isn't going to solve this.
I understand that you are hurt, but look around you. You have your children who love you. You have a man (ignorant, maybe) that loves you.
You have a right to be hurt but think about more than presents. Your gift is the children who love you and the man that sticks by your side, as forgetful as he is.
Happy Mother's Day
Love, a mom
2007-05-13 16:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first off claiming to be christian doesn't make you one. I can claim to be a squirrel but can't prove I am one. if I start collecting nuts grow a bushy tail and can scamper up and down trees like one I might be one. first off I am going to be a little mean and say you married him. he more than likely did not change you just started seeing it more. second for fathers day do the same. if you need something ask him to get it he more than likely won't do it but it will tell you more. maybe for christmas if he doesn't change you can hand him a schedule marriage counselling if he doesn't go or doesn't want to go for new years you can give him a new divorce. try to fix it but don't keep adding money to a broken car you may need a new one.
2007-05-13 16:02:35 · answer #7 · answered by Bear_Polaroid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the day was suppose to be about you and this is just a symptom of what is wrong in your marriage you have evry right to be upset. what a jerk!. I would start planning your leaving him. and start setting aside some money and plan what you are going to do. and then when you get on your feet again with a job and all you will be all set OR if you have family to move in with now might be a perfect time to collect your un-employment and leave him. you decide
2007-05-13 16:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Laine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See that’s merely it. mom’s Day isn’t approximately what you need to purchase your spouse. i might have settled for a hand-crafted card that my husband and a pair of year previous son did jointly. i could have been happy with an afternoon on the sea coast as a kin with snacks and sandtoys. i could have been happy with no longer having to alter a diaper all day. yet issues didn’t artwork out that way. I nevertheless grow to be the only that wakened early on an identical time as my husband slept in. i grow to be nevertheless the only that replaced the diapers and made breakfast and did the dishes. i grow to be nevertheless the only that did the laundry and folded clothing all on an identical time as gazing our son play interior the backyard. i'm prepared on my little guy. Seeing him smile places a grin on my face. I couldn’t be happier that I certainly have a son. yet all i wanted grow to be a sprint “whats up hun, happy mom’s Day. Now bypass take a seat on an identical time as I cook dinner you breakfast” It’s unquestionably no longer approximately being materialistic. It’s with regard to the thought that is going into it. Or in my case, no theory in any respect. My 2 year previous is merely too small to do it on his very own, consequently why my husband could have stepped in to assist out.
2016-10-15 22:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry your having such a hard time you do what you want but I had one just like him only worse and i left him. Best desision I ever made. By the way Happy Mothers day you have something to be proud of!!!
2007-05-13 16:04:29 · answer #10 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋