why do we fall in love with the people we cheat with?

Question

tell me why is it we cheat and then fall in love with the cheaters like they won't do it to us?

Answer 1

People cheat because they lack three things:

1) A sense of empathy
2) A realistic outlook on emotions
3) A lack of self control

Those who cheat often do not apply the feeling of being cheated to themselves. They don't think of the consequences, and if they do, they often think they can get away with it. Either way, they aren't thinking about how their actions could hurt someone else.

Many in relationships think, "I'm going to meet the perfect man or woman, and I'll never want anyone else." This is simply unrealistic. There are six billion plus people on this planet, and to think that one won't develop an intense emotional and physical attraction to another human being is naive. If one goes into a relationship knowing this will likely happen to them and their partner, they can handle the situation more maturely when it arises. That communication will already be in place.

Lastly, those who cheat lack self control. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for someone else. Acting on it is the problem. Those who act on it are not able to control themselves as they should.

As for why love follows, who knows why anyone falls in love with anyone else? But we do fall in love with people in spite of their flaws. This is why so many people are in unhealthy relationships. And it's where the saying, "Love is blind" comes from.

EDIT: The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is absolutely inaccurate. I know several people who have cheated who definitely learned their lessons.

Answer 2

Well...it seems to me, both in my own personal experiences, and observing others...that with the feelings of love, come feelings of hope. It is a combination of the two of those that form those "Rose Colored Glasses." If you've never heard the term...it refers to the fact that in the beginning of relationships...the other person can do no wrong. All you know is the love, and the desire, and the need to be with them...so much so that you...hm...you overlook those signs that might say "Caution," or "Stop," or "Yield." I know this describes just about ALL relationships...but it also true with incidences of cheating. This is where hope comes into play...because you know the person was(/is) with someone else, and then began a relationship with you...so you think to yourself, "He (or she) is with me now, and that won't happen because our love is stronger than that." Now...and this is something to keep in mind...This may or may not be the case. You don't have to start out as a "forbidden" relationship for someone to stray...it happens all of the time with people who both started off single. You never know what another person will do...you have to trust in love, and try to see past the rose glasses (it's hard, but it can be done)...if you still like what you see...trust in the relationship. Like I said...and you may not want to hear this...you just never know...and if it is something that really concerns you...address it with your partner. (again) You never know...the truth has a funny way of slipping out...I hope this helps...

Answer 3

you're in a coarse spot. i've got faith for you yet on an identical time i think of you're able to truly take a seat and take a seem at your life. i'm not a solid individual to be answering this, and that i don't probable think of that any one at here can fairly supply you the respond. you're in a difficulty the place somebody is going to get injury. You, your spouse, or this lady. probable all 3. there's no difficulty the place all of you will get what you prefer. i might say the proper difficulty which you're able to do is weigh each and all the flair outcomes and notice what is going to deliver you the main happiness (and the least destruction.) If staying along with your spouse and leaving the different lady will make you depressing, the your spouse will sense it and it will make her unhappy besides. infants can sense stress in a house. in case you fairly can not stay with out this lady, then you definately might desire to take inventory of what you're keen to renounce. while you're actually not likely to flow away, then enable her flow. not to your marriages sake, yet for her very own. circumstances like this might wreak havoc on a woman's shallowness. I choose you success.

Answer 4

I guess people fall in love with those that are cheating with them because they feel they are providing what that person really wants. Perhaps they believe they are the person that the individual really wants. People feel they have legitimate reasons for cheating and presumably provide them to those that they have their clandestine relationships with. In turn these people take on these reasons as legitimate to absolve any feelings of guilt or morality that may crop up for them. They may seek a "legitimate" relationship with the individual to in the end justify the socially unacceptable one that initially started it all.

Guilty love I would say.

Answer 5

I think it is easier to stay low then it is to reach higher---go for the best. Self esteem is what I mean--you have the cheater, you know you don't have to try hard--so you stay with them---it isn't love--it isn't anything close to love--it is just someone being there. ---till they cheat on you and it is the BIG emotional letdown--like you didn't think it would happen to you. Cheaters show no respect or dignity--for their victims or themselves.

Answer 6

First rule of the cheaters club don't fall in love you silly girl

Answer 7

Falling in love is not love. It is an adventure. Design only to last a little while. Cheating is a lack of the Golden Rule. Here is one thing to remember: Sex will keep him coming back, but it want keep him.

Answer 8

You can't help who you fall in love with. You hope that your relationship with them will be different and many times it is. You all need to stop being so negative. There have been successful cheating relationships out there. Now that's sounds weird even to me, but it's true.

Answer 9

i think you just get caught up in all the bull and then decide that it will be different for you, but they never really are i mean once in awhile it happens where they do not do that but it happens very rarely the best thing to do is not be the other woman or man , try for someone different and single , then you will not have near as many problems because if you are the other one , then it won't be very long before your the one getting screwed , good luck

Answer 10

You're a cheater, too. Like people attract. What do you expect?