I cant cry, why am i so good at repressing my feelings?

Question

everytime something bad happens i dont deal with it i just fall into myself and shut down my perception even more. the pain is too deep for me to accept whats happened. i been carrying around lots of stuff for years and its made me emotionless. how do i recconect with my feelings i dont feel alive anymore.

why am i so good at hiding myself and how i feel? why dont i let myself feel and react normaly to when stuff happens? whenever i feel like crying now i hold it in. its like if i cry ive committed a serious crime and im not allowed to . i also think when i do people view me as weak and im exposed and i dont like that feeling either.

god damnit

Answer 1

You need to talk to a counselor or someone who can help u sort it out.The fact that u are aware of this and want to help it is a positive aspect of this situation.
Crying is normal, and acceptable by most ppl. We are all weak at some time or another, its normal. So u need not worry tht u will appear weak if u cry.
If u are religious turn to God/Allah. If not, talk to a psychiatrist or a counselor. Sort it out before its beyond repair.

Answer 2

Blocking things out or repressing feelings are a temporary fix. Eventually, and when least expected, all of those emotions might escape and have a more damaging effect on your life.

Do you have anyone you feel safe talking to? Have you tried writing down your feelings? Do you have an outlet for yourself (a hobby)?

My son passed away when I was only 21. That was the most difficult thing I had to bear. I blocked out the pain, but unfortunately blocked out some of the wonderful times I shared with my son. I don't remember much from when he was alive, nor the time I was the walking dead experiencing grief.

What eventually helped me? Aside from the above ideas, I also started to let bits of what I was blocking out appear. Say I saw a baby that favored my son. I would usually get depressed. Instead of letting that get to me, I would think, Oh I remember when Mau Mau used to do that. I remember the time we went to the park and... That would keep me from getting depressed, and I would actually feel better, feel closer to my son.

So a Loooooong story short, lol. Please try and find ways to process or release your pain. That will help you reconnect with your emotions. Stress and the energy it takes to repress shorten your life. Akuna matata.

P.S. If you've never had your birth chart done, you should look into it. It can give you insight, coupled with your childhood experience, into yourself and assist with personal growth.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

I have to say, I'm only answering because I have basically the same thing; I've been diagnosed with manic depression. So I can't really help you, but I know that it's really really horrible and I hope so much for you that you get better. When I first got it, I tried to turn to god and get religious, and if that works for you that's great, but personally I found myself completely unable to believe, the same way I seem to be incapable of breaking down to cry. Also, I was made to go into counseling, and when I left (I hated my counselor as a person, I have no problem with others who go to counseling) it seemed to me that I just got a whole lot worse, so I wouldn't do that again.
But I would always advise you to try, because there are so many people who swear that stuff like that saved their life.

Answer 4

The state of being emotionless happens, when we keep suffering for a long period of time. But we should overcome it. Life is short, and also cruel, that does not let people to worry all the time. It is good that you can recognise what is going on. Crying is not going to help in a crisis, but can lessen out heartache. It takes a lot of courage to accept a truth, but nothing is impossible. Try a hobby to reconnect with your feelings. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I'm the same way but changing. Maybe you feel inferior to your peers and thus don't want to be vulnerable in front of them. You need to find a way to get out of the mindset that it's a bad thing to get emotional. It's human. Open up to someone who is important to you. Then you need to be completely open with that person. You can keep it to only one person if that helps you. Just try really hard to verbalize how you feel. If that's too hard, find a venue, like poetry or music. Keep trying, it's not easy but you'll get there.

Answer 6

I suppressed all my feelings-guilts,fears, resentments, loneliness etc for many years and tried suicide twice.I also became an alcoholic. I didn't realise that sharing these problems with someone I could trust would lighten the load and start the healing. I would advise that you have a word with your doctor about these things and he will arrange for you to see a counsellor who will gently help you probe your hurts. If you don't want to do that maybe a visit to a minister/priest/pastor would be an alternative. I did both and when I shared my life with them my black depression and suicidal thoughts lifted.
Please seek help. May God guide and protect you.

Answer 7

you can't just cry because you want to or don't want to. It's a llittle strange, I know - but sometimes you just have to let things go on it's own natural course... open yourself up to new experiences, new emotions. Not everybody cries out of sadness or anger. Some people cry tears of joy, happiness and satisfaction. Take it easy... It will come when it's time. Especially when you are not thinking about it.

Answer 8

well my opinion is that its harder for guys to express there feelings to certain situations because hey dont want to get veiwed as a wimp. but holding them in isnt good for you it can cause alot of stress on you. With your question you said that you just cant cry, well maybe your not letting yourself think about it so much for you to cry or your just in shock and dont no what to do in a certain situation.

Answer 9

Phychologists have listed a series of Response Patterns that is typical for most people to experience while dealing with traumatic situations, whether it involves death, divorce, loss of job, changes in medical conditions, etc:

Denial
Anger/Blame
Bargaining
Depression/Desperation
Acceptance

Most people go through these stages in order, sometimes slowly, other times quickly, depending on the intensity of the situation and outside support. Sometime people will skip stages entirely, or flip between two stages several times before moving on...

And some people can get stuck in one stage and cannot move out of it...

When you repress feelings for so long like you have (sounds to me that you have locked yourself permanently into the denial stage), it's very difficult to break out of it. At this point, this is not something you can simply decide to "fix", even though you are now aware of what's going on. It will take help with a professional in order for you to learn how you can change the way you cope/react to difficult situations. (If your regular doctor cannot recommend a specialist, I hope you can turn to a strong friend that you can trust completely and who can remain objective about your situation when you confide in them. Note: If they coddle you, or admonish you, in any way, you will likely become stagnated.)

Learning to change will take TIME: do not give up if you don't see improvement in the first month. It probably took you 10 years to get this way... it might take at least a year to get you completely out of it...

This doesn't mean that you won't ever experience denial, anger, frustration again... it just means that you will be able to move through the stages in a healthy way so you can adjust and adapt to life's most difficult moments.

I still have moments of sadness and anger when I think of my aunt who I lost to cancer last fall, but I've reached the point of acceptance that I can talk about her and remember her with affection and joy. I still have fleeting thoughts of blame towards my first supervisor for giving me a poor probationay review, which nearly got me fired from the agency... but that experience ultimately made me a stronger person by giving me the determination to do better on my next assignment, which ended up giving me a completely unexpected promotion within 2 months...

Yes, it's always painful to move through these stages of reactions, and you will certainly be vulnerable at times. But the benefits leave you with so many rewards -- reaching the acceptance stage is a liberating feeling of confidence and you will be able to look at the next obstacle with a little less fear... crappy stuff will always be popping up, so we all might as well learn how to deal with it and STILL be able to get out and enjoy life as much as possible.

Come on, life is too short -- get out and start enjoying it. Good luck in your search for help: be sure you find a specialist with whom you feel comfortable -- it might take several attempts before you find someone you like. (You don't randomly buy a new pair of shoes without trying on several pairs first, right?! Might take a couple tries before you find a pair that is the perfect fit...though they should get even more comfortable with each wear...)

Answer 10

Your good at it because it is how you survive. Try drawing out what you feel through art. Listen to new age music and let your mind clear itself so it can heal. don't pressure yourself. You will cry when it is time