Is it okay if your significant other gives his ex wife card and candy and spends time with her on mothers day? y ou are alone on the holidays because he is with his family..ex wife and kids.. and you dont have any family.. am i being to sensitive? i feel very hurt.
2007-05-13 11:19:13 · 22 answers · asked by aquaris01975 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well he could spend time with both, but the fact he has kids with her , she will be in his life forever, as the kids get older it will be less and less but never completely gone. If the kids are young they have no money so the gifts are from the kids not him.And until you start a family, this will continue.
2007-05-13 11:27:32 · answer #1 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have good reason to feel hurt. It is not easy being a third wheel and he is not considering your feelings. Spending time with his children and x wife is a great thing, however leaving you out is not. He should have invited you to go with him, this way you have the choice of going or not. Then at least he is telling you, you are a part in all this, not a bystander. We have a great understanding with our x's in our house. We need to get along for the sake of the children. On xmas and other holidays we all get together here and then the x's will take the children where they need to go. I have a great relationship with my husbands x wife. She is a great person who has done a great job with T. I see no reason for her not to reach out to you the same as S. did with me. When you are calm and able to talk about this with him without joking up, sit down with him and tell him how you feel. You are not jelious you are left out of his and his childrens life. You just want to show that you care and you will be there for him and them. Let him know you are not there to compete with the x wife, You are there to help her and him in anyway you can. Remind him that you know you are not their mother and have no intention on trying to be. You want to be their for the children as any friend should be.
Best of luck honey, This is new for everyone, things will settle down and all parties involved will adjust soon enough.
2007-05-13 18:34:22 · answer #2 · answered by flateach33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hope this is a joke. But, I'll toss in my two cents worth. My wife and I both have previous marriages, and the exes are both near. I would expect my wife to do one of two things IF I decided to spend Mother's Day with my ex, rather than her. One, divorce my silly butt. Or, Two, have me evaluated by a shrink. I'd do the same if she decided to spend a holiday with her ex- ANY holiday. But, we ARE married, and I note you don't say that. So, in your case, I'd be most concerned with WHY he'd want to spend time with his ex. I'd also worry that I'd lost my mind, if I wasn't packing stuff up to end the relationship. You MUST be crazy if you're gonna put up with sitting alone while your BF has a nice date with his ex. But, to be fair, perhaps you're just young, and haven't yet fully developed your bull poop detector. Miss, take my word for it. It STINKS. Dump the jerk. This isn't a mistake, or an example of male insensitivity- it STINKS.
2007-05-13 18:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It does not seem right to me. He could give her a card, but he does not have to spend time with her. He has to maintain a relationship with her because of the kids. They do not have to spend too much time together as they would if they were still a family. I don't thinjk you are being too sensitive. I would be hurt also
Try to discuss your concerns with him and see what he says. Maybe you can reach an agreement as to what type of relationship with his ex you are both comfortable with.
2007-05-13 18:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by Stareyes 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you a mother? If not, then I can understand why he would spend the day with his children and their mother. You said you're ALONE on holidays. That is not fair! He may not think your relationship is not serious enough to take to his family.
2007-05-13 18:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by Truth Hurts 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. He is simply being thoughtful and giving her the recognition she deserves as the mother of his children.
Do you feel disrespected? Then tell him how you feel so that next time he can arrange to do something special with you as well (perhaps in the night).
You may also want to consider having a child of your own so that next year you will be able to receive some of the Mothers' Day attention that she is getting!
2007-05-13 19:06:48 · answer #6 · answered by LovablyMe 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to feel hurt. What is his answer for that? I think you need to set some boundaries & love yourself more. Life is to short their are plenlty of men out there that would love to spend time with you & not their ex. My heart goes out to you. Sit down & write out all your feeling's it helps to have a journal & really look inside & see why your holding on. I also pray alot & I get my answer from the voice within me. Listen to that & you can't go wrong.
Lots of hugs to you,
STAR
2007-05-13 18:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by texasstar1974 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being too sensitive. I understand the importance of maintaining a relationship with an ex for the sake of the children (and so should you) but this contact should be agreed upon by the two of you and you should be included in, or at least be invited to, share in these activities.
2007-05-13 18:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by redridinghood 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be clear about the meaning of significant other. If you are married and you have kids with the husband, then he should be with you. If you are just a gf and no kids, he should be his kids celebrating Mother's Day. Even if you are married but no kids, he is going to put his kids first for an occasion that is for the mother ---- NOT the wife. Sorry
2007-05-13 18:33:05 · answer #9 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
a guys point of view............aquaris............theres two parts to this one hun...first...he should spend time with his kids...and as far as giving his ex flowers and candy,etc...there shouldn't be any problem in it...as long as your name is on the card too...as far as you being alone during the hollidays...thats just purely wrong...you and hs are family...he and they are family...so why cant the two families get together during the hollidays? if he refuses to let you go then call his ex and ask her...if you two are on speaking terms then ask her...on the childrens birthdays throw a party for them...tell their mom you want to do this this time...bet she will agree...tell them you would like to be a part of the whole family...if hubby dont want this...then i think theres a little more in it than just seeing his kids...makes ya think, huh...be safe...be kind...and i wish you love...
2007-05-13 18:58:15 · answer #10 · answered by hystericaly_kinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋