Question for MONOSEXUAL people only! (only answer if you are mature and 18+)?

Question

As a monosexual, you would rather be with your one gender of choice.

Assuming that, would you rather be with your gender of choice, a person who is abusive, drug-addicted, and overall a horrible human being...

or would you rather be with the other gender?

Honest (and mature) answers only please...and only people who identify with a monosexual orientation and/or are primarily attracted to one gender.

oh and can I add that the "other gender" person is caring, respectful, loving, and not addicted to drugs and not abusive.

ok one more question...

if you chose not to be with the other gender, why? why, as a monosexual, do you discriminate against other genders? Isn't it good enough if that person just loves you more than life itself? Why does gender matter so much to you?

best answer = 10 points!

Grumpyfiend - most people that are 18+ know what monosexual is...if they don't, they don't understand enough to even be answering this question.

and again, I wasn't stating that the "gender of choice" are drug users...I was talking about specifically ONE person, that happens to be an abusive druggie. Would you rather be with that person, or a person of the other gender that loves and cares for you?

happy2lu - concentrate on the entire subject matter at hand, instead of picking out small details.

You are missing the point.

yes, there is no "gender of choice"...bad wording. my apologies. I should have said preferred gender.

Answer 1

I've learned over the years to never, ever say "Oh, I'd never do...." or "can't see where I'd possibly...." While I'm a het female with no past or present erotic attraction to females, it's quite easy to fall in love with a person and be able to overlook things that would have been deal-breakers in the past. (Know a lot of folks who are partnered with people they wouldn't have considered as close friends, let alone love interests....until they looked deeper.)

Straight, gay, bi, or whatever---rather than deal with a "person who is abusive, drug addicted, and overall a horrible human being" (or any combination of those, and not doing something about it)----personally, I'd rather be CELIBATE than put up with that sort of loser for long.


FWIW: if I __did__ become attracted to a woman erotically, there'd probably be a lot of confused head-scratching and mumbling---"OOOooookkay. I'm liking a girl now, after all these years of liking males. What's changed, what's the same, and what on earth do I do next?"

Answer 2

The problem is not one of choice. Even if emotionally and intellectually I would rather be with the ANY gender rather than be with an abusive, drug-addicted partner who is a horrible human being, it doesn't matter. I have no choice. I CANNOT be sexual with that gender that is not my monosexual gender preference. It's physiologically and psychologically impossible.
I am not aroused by or with that other gender REGARDLESS of how wonderful they are compared to my partner. Would I rather spend TIME with the other gender than my sociopathic horrendous partner? Yes, but that time will not and CAN not be one of physical intimacy. I'm just not made that way. I would be incapable of reacting sexually with any gender other than the one with which I am physically attracted, regardless of my feelings about them as a person or their treatment of me.

Why does gender 'matter' that much to me? The same reason why when I'm thirsty, I require something to drink. It's my nature. Being with one gender is natural to ME, being with the other is no more possible for me than forcing myself to keep my hand in an open flame. I can't do it.

Answer 3

Honestly, your question is so much a hypothetical that it's irrelevant. I'm heterosexual only. Being with an abusive man would make me want to leave that man, but it wouldn't push me to a woman for a romantic or sexual relationship.

In a way, if that were the case, it would blow the statement that people are born gay right out of the water. If a person says they themselves would choose to be with someone of a different gender than the one they prefer and are attracted to, that means they have a choice.

EDIT: I just noticed another part of your question. It's not discrimination, it's sexual orientation and attraction. No matter how openminded and accepting you are, if you're not gay, you're not gay, and that doesn't change. It's the definition of sexual preference -- you're attracted to one gender, to the point that you don't see the other gender as relationship possibilities.

Answer 4

If those are the ONLY two choices then I would have to choose being with the opposite gender.

My first choice, had it been available, would have been to be with neither; to be alone; to never have sex or be in love again, even.



*edit*
I think its you who is missing the point here, honey.
You ask, "why does gender matter so much to you?"

Gender matters!! If gender didnt matter you wouldnt be asking these stupid questions.


You ask, "Isn't it good enough if that person just loves you more than life itself?"

NO! Its not. Many a hetero couple have had one sided relationships just like this and they didnt last either. When one partner does not care for the other the relationship will not last. Period. Its not a question of TRYING to force your square self into society's acceptable round hole. It can only be done on a short term basis. Most homosexuals have tried it. We have tried to be heterosexual and finally realized its just not what we are. To be healthy mentally and physically we must be who and what we are or you may as well just get the padded room ready.


and just so you know, you are not unique... you ask the same questions over and over... trying to force an acceptable answer to an unacceptable question... trying to manipulate the answers to suit you... and its just a little annoying... face it, we're here, we're queer and nothing you can do will make us disappear.

Answer 5

It seems a strange question, but I will try and answer in the spirit in which I believe it to be asked.

My interpretation of monosexuality is that you are only attracted to one sex as oppose to being bisexual (pansexual) or asexual. Therefore on that basis I could only be attracted to that one sex (either gay or straight) and if I had any attraction towards the both sexes I wouldn't be a monosexual.

Given the stark choice in this question I would say one further thing. An important part of my sexuality and choice in relationships of an intimate nature is self respect and trust. I would not be in a relationship where I had no self respect or trust. A so called 'horrible' person (as described by yourself) could not give me these 'core principles'.

So, I would have a choice to either become a 'changed' monosexual and go for the healthy relationship or have no relationship at all. To me it would be about what I was truly comfortable with. For all that you might have the outward signs of a 'healthy' relationship of the type that you describe in your additional section to your question, I would be being dishonest to myself and to the person I was having a relationship with to have that kind of relationship.

Therefore to answer your question - No, I would not change my monosexual beliefs and fundaments, but neither would I compromise on the 'core principles' that are fundamental to my relationships. So, I would settle for a third option - no relationship at all.

Answer 6

I can be friends with a caring person of the other gender, but I'm not going to stay in an abusive relationship

Answer 7

I am assuming by "mono-sexual" you mean heterosexual OR homosexual...

While I, myself, believe that sexuality is fluid and shouldn't have any real borders, I understand if you are homo/heterosexual and are not attracted to one gender or the other.
You can't chose your sexuality anymore than you can chose your height or eye color. Sure, you can wear heels or colored contacts - you can make yourself seem to be taller or have different eye color, but that's not actually going to change anything. You could chose to be with another gender than you prefer, but you would still be gay/straight and going against who you really are - I know I wouldn't be with someone I didn't have feelings for, it is a waste of both of our time.

Answer 8

You aren't giving us much of a choice, (albeit that most don't even know what "MONO-SEXUAL" means)

I am comfortable with the gender I choose and they aren't abusive drug users that you have insinuated them to be. My presumption is that you have fallen in with the "wrong crowd" and that if you tried, you could do better within your gender. You just have to look harder for the ones you can truly be yourself with without the negative traits that you associate yourself with.

Answer 9

Why would I "have" to be with anyone? If a person's only choices were to be with someone they are not attracted to or someone who is not good for them, what's to stop that person from having a happy single life?

Answer 10

um, newsflash, there is no "gender of choice"

now I have a question: are you for real??????????????