We stay in a joint family , Our in laws stay with us , My husband leaves all the decisions to them. Does not take up any responsibilty at all, when will he grow up. His parents still treat him like a small kid!!!
2007-05-13 07:40:39 · 17 answers · asked by Priyam 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move out and then he'll grow up. This will end in divorce if you two don't do something. Don't brush this under the rug, do something now!
2007-05-13 07:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by SillierKimmy! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG... my mom is in the same situation, my grandma(my mom's mother in law) seriously is a MONSTER IN LAW, i kno exactly how you feel. she still treats my dad like a baby and we used to stay in a joint family as well. The first thing we did is move out from the joint family and that made things a lot better, but we still live in the same city and i wish that we didnt. really the thing is that your husband is brought up that way and he probably wont changeEVER... but movign as far away as possible from your in laws is a good idea... maybe if you have kids and you leave for a while he will have to take some responsibility, that is wat my mom did... it really helped! If you dont have any kids and he is really irresponsible you have two optioons
-he might take responsibilty when you have kids(very unlikely)
- or you can divorce him with nothing to lose! ( i kno that sounds harsh but in the long run it really will help, he isnt worth a whole life full of fighting TRUST me i would kno!)
i really feel for you because i kno exactly how that feels..GOOD LUCK!
2007-05-13 07:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by Ruby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is communicate with him. Sit down and talk to him. Let him know he's old enough to make his own decisions. Talk to his mother as well. She needs to back up. She needs to learn he's not a baby anymore. He needs to decide wether or not he's going to mature. If not, there will be consequences.
Everyone mentions divorce: thats why the rates of divorce are so high. People dont try to fix their problems they take the easy way out... what do you decide? The shortcut and be known as a quiter or try and put some effort into your marriage and see where it goes? Marriage isnt the easiest of things. It's only the beggining.
2007-05-13 07:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to grow up. And having them there doesn't help. Maybe you should talk to them. Tell them that your concerned he's such a spine-less whimp. That they need to back off and make him make his own decisions.Or better yet , Give him an ultimatum, either they move out or you do.
Consider getting the heck out of there, and find a real man. Not some momma's boy.
Good Luck!
2007-05-13 09:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by MARK S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have seen that before you married him. That's what courtship period/dating is meant for............to find out more about the other person. The only way is to have your own house and not stay in a joint family and to stay in different cities or countries. Consider moving to another country.
2007-05-13 20:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN, Don't look back. It won't get any better and if you confront him.....it will cause a riot like you have never seen. He will go to his parents and tell them everything you said and it will be his version, then you will be living in a house of H E L L because they will all hate you. You will be accused of trying to sabotage his relationship with his parents and that you are a control freak and and any and all else that they can come up with....RUN RUN RUN!!!
2007-05-13 07:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You handle it by not getting married to a mommas boy in the first place.
Don't blame him for your mistakes. You knew he was this way before you married him. It's your mistake for thinking you could change him, or that he would change. You knew, you decided to go ahead anyway, you are the one who is in the wrong.
You only have two choices, either accept or move on.
2007-05-13 07:47:08 · answer #7 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to boot the parents out or get your own place without the parents relationships hardly ever work when parents get involved .
2007-05-13 07:48:30 · answer #8 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move far far away from them. He won't pick up responsibility until he has to. Just be careful he doesn't start treating you like his mom instead of his wife. good luck!
2007-05-13 07:43:55 · answer #9 · answered by PrincessJesci 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As everyone on here will tell you, he can only grow some balls, by the two of you "owning" a place of your own. And that means, your inlaws, leave, if it is your house, and you leave if it is theirs. Otherwise, he's a baby, their baby forever.
2007-05-13 07:51:39 · answer #10 · answered by ladyren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋