I don't think my dad cares about how I feel about . . . anything?

Question

Everytime I try to talk to him about anything I'm not happy about (and, no, I don't act like a five-year-old when I do), he tells me, "If you're not happy, you can leave. I don't care,"
If I ever ask why he does something (rules, etc.), he ignores me.

It's not like I do bad things all the time (I do occasionally, but who doesn't?) & get in trouble at home or a school. So I don't know why he's been so mean to me lately [for exapmle, if I don't get a perfect grade on something, he'll tease me and nag me about it. Even if i get a good grade on something else, he won't congradulate me, he'll stick to making fun of me for the other thing. OR, he makes fun of my appearence. He says things about my hair and clothes.Thanks, dad. It's not I like I had a great self-esteem to start with]

He treats me like I'm five years old (I'm not allowed to see any friends outside of school).

& he doesn't trust me (I haven't done ANYTHING that would require him to lose his trust. I swear)

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way about your father and your family. You sound sincere in your efforts to make things work with you father. It would be good if your father could acknowledge and encourage your good efforts.
What you have been trying so far is on the right track. You should keep it up. I am assuming that things were bad in the past and your father has reason to be suspicious. Perhaps he is needing more time to see you change. Perhaps you can convince him that you are wanting a better relationship be continuing to work hard atr follwoing family rules and expectations. As your father sees you making a sincere effort, he will be more abpt to listen to your reasonable efforts to discuss some compromises. He needs time to observe your sicnerity through your efforts.

Answer 2

Sounds like a real problem. Have you tried taking this up with the school councilor if not the mom? Usually things like this ends up and trust me, I've been there before. Going to someone in full confidence helps them see what's actually going on, even a relative can help you out when you least expect it.


But at the same time, as long as you know who you are and know you're doing your best, there isn't a reason to let what he says or does get you down. There are people like that in the adult world that will do much worse. (Believe me, a 23 year old like myself would probably slap the person who would treat them like how you're being treated. LOL)

Hopefully this should help you. And best of luck.

Answer 3

Being a dad is hard.

Speaking for dad as a dad.
We are not given a book on how to be a father when our children are born. So we go on what we know or how we were raised. Yes it may not be the best thing to do but it is all we know. Sit down and tell him to stop making fun because it hurts.

I would say your around 12 to 13. This is a hard age for you and your father. He sees you becoming a woman and not his little girl any more. He wants to keep you safe. He does trust you it is the out side world he does not trust.

Answer 4

i know how my dad use to do that to me, but as i got old i would tell him to back off or like if he was telling me that i looked bad in something when he wore something bad i wold tell him too or tell him this is a new generation get use to it. (he did it with my toes too i told him it genetic)

about grade i would talk about the bad ones first and then the good one (sometime people just like hearing the bad news first)

if you start fighting i just wave it of go like "i don't have to deal with this I'm not going to fight with my dad with some thing so stupid like _______(what ever the problem is)"

and as for your dad not caring i think he does it's just that he doesn't know how to show it(is your mom alive where is she, that could make him stress you know)

Answer 5

Dad may be going through his own crap and it is not about you. though I realize it should be because you obviously need his guidance. sometimes we parents are doing the best we can and it is not always the best for those around us. we are only human and we bring a lot of baggage (most we don;t realize until our kids become teenagers - marking for us the end of complete and utter adoration from our kids). i know it means nothing for a stranger to say that don't take it personally-- but please realize that Dada is only human. and he may have some things going on that he does not know how to deal with and yes that may involve raising kids (you). you may be able to be more active by researching self parenting and other type of info that helps you get through some rough times. deep down we are all kids dealing with crap that happened to us as a child.

Answer 6

my dad is the same exact way minus the part about the grades....but i dont think he was always tryin to be mean, he just didnt always think b4 he said things...that was a while ago tho now we dont talk that much unless its absolutly neccesar.....ive givin up on tryin to figure out y he does the things he does n started focusin on myself cause what he says use to hurt my feelins n even sometimes made me cry but now ive gotten to a point where i no longer care now its just a countdown to when i can move out....I hope things get better for u 2 tho.

Answer 7

just dont think about him anymore. that may sound a little harsh but after a period of time, he;ll realized how special you are and be nice to you. that's the way with my dad.

Answer 8

If my dad did that I would know that he had a lot on his mind so I would try to talk to him. So e-mail me if you have any questions.

Answer 9

it is normal ,
most of fathers hate their sons ,
but i don't know why ?
if they don'y like them , why they brought them ?

you cannot change him ,

just hope to be a good parent ,