my girlfriend of 2 years has a 14yr old who is physically abusive to his mom and sister.?

Question

he has taken shots at me and left marks on all of us. then he calls the cops to try to have me arrested for getting involved. cops wont do anything .the kid needs help before he really hurt someone . he is very disrespectful to everyone. is there any hope> he destroys personal property and steals from his mom. he is terrorizing the house. plus we plan on moving in to my house in 2 months .what leg do i have to stand on if he acts like this in my home? i have a zero tolerence for abuseive people. he said he would get rid of me soon. talking about stabbing me in my sleep. i need some real help onthis

Answer 1

He needs serious help. If his mother won't get him help then you need to leave for safety precautions.

Answer 2

One question for you. Did this start AFTER you came on the scene, or was it going on before you met her? If after, then the kid is acting out and needs counseling - full family counseling. If it was going on before (ask your girlfriend) then the kid needs to go to kiddy jail. Your girlfriend has to contact child welfare authorities or call the police and press assault charges on the kid. You have no authority, or place in what happens now, or after a marriage. You are not blood. Do not take this kid into your home. He just may do as he has stated and help you into a deeper sleep than you ever wanted. It is possible that the child needs to be committed to an insane asylum, if he has been like this all his life. He may be a sociopath, and there just is not a cure for that.

Answer 3

Something is wrong with the mother.. He's 14, and acting up like this.. This didn't just start, this has been neglect on behavior by the mother. Has she no rules, no manners have been taught. It's too bad for you. You have fallen in love with this woman. Well if she has no control of him you sure as hell won't.. You must be a gluten for punishment. This kid is loving all of this. It's too late he's 14. He thinks he's all it. His mother has not brought him up to respect people. He will learn the hard way once he gets up and leaves home the world will have to raise him since his mother has not. My advice is don't walk away, RUN away from this mess.

Answer 4

You are really a caring person to be involved with serious issues like this concerning her child. I think she must be a very devoted mother to let this continue to go on. He may need meds or anger management to control his temper with a counselor. I'm not a trained clinician so I hate to speculate on why he is this way. I do believe you will resent this behavior more if he destroys things in your own house or if you and mom get married and have kids of your own, you might not be so forgiving if he lays a hand on your child. Hopefully, his mom is willing to share decision making with you about her son, if not you might be in for a very rude awakening if he doesn't get help before he moves in with you. Good luck and many prayers your way are needed!

Answer 5

if he's 14, his mother can admit him into a mental institution, even if he is against it. if he refuses to go, call the cops. they will take him. call up a few on the hospitals in your area and see what you can do about it there. it might be different. but it's basically the same everywhere, and i know for a fact that if the mother is taking an underage child, and the child refuses to go, the cops WILL take him to the hospital. especially if he's as dangerous as you say. even if you don't call the hospital, call the non-emergency line of the police station and see what you can get done immediately.

Answer 6

The only help you need is to get out of this relationship. She isn't worth the drama and you don't need this in your life. You can't fix their problems and are being foolish to think so. Just break up with her, there are plenty of good women out there looking for a good guy like you. Life is too short to spend time in a bad relationship.

Answer 7

You really stepped into it!
The truth is that boyfriends come and go, but children are forever. She will not take your side. You are going to have LIVING HELL in your house. Cancel the move while there's still time! First this kid needs boot camp.

Answer 8

dont let that ridiculousness continue!
call the cops. im serious, dont wait till something bad happens. get him in juvy or jail or a corrective school before his violence goes too far! communicate your fears to the girlfriend and work together to get him help. if the cops wont listen, research corrective facilities ect. so that he can get better. whatever you do, dont let him keep going on like a wild animal! and #1 dont let him in your home until he has control over himself. GET HELP.

Answer 9

in all likely hood he is scared,confused and deeply unhappy and must be treated as such,,,my advice would be to sit down with his mum and discuss what will happen when you all move in together,,will she expect you to say nothing with regards his behavior when something needs saying or will she want and need back-up from you,,a father figure who means what he says,,it will be very hard for him to grow to understand why you feel you can now dictate what he does in your home BUT he needs discipline,he needs guidance and he needs to learn respect and this will only come from you taking time with him,,listening to him,,showing him respect. be under no illusions,he will try to vex you,,he will try to anger you and he may even try and goad you into hitting him because this will show you are wrong for them,,bad for their mum and need to leave them all alone,if he sees both you and his mum working together despite any protests he will calm down,somethings you will have to expect as just normal teenage behavior for a young boy but the rest needs to be worked on.if the boundaries are clear he will get used to them but do be sure to discuss ALL this with your partner as she needs to see you are being firm for a reason and not 'picking',which is something step-parents can be accused of simply because they see it as that way but if she wants help and you want to give it,,be clear,firm and fair.

Answer 10

Sounds like Mom was great at creating a baby, but NOT being a parent.

Where is DAD??