Is it too early to get a divorce?

Question

My husband and I got married last July. He emigrated here from a small island in the caribbean where we met. I filed for him and he's been here a year and a half. Once he arrived, I found out that he fathered two children back home and that he dropped out of highschool. When we met he told me that he had no children and that he's an engineering student at the local university. He says he lied to me because if he were truthful I wouldn't want to be with him. I probably should've done my due diligence but I did not. Most of my family and friends warned me that he was using me for a greencard - but I was so caught up in love that I didn't heed their warnings. He hasn't worked since he's been here and all of the bills are on me. He can't get a job because he has no GED. I paid for him to go to a GED prep course and he took the test and failed. That was last June. Now I'm just tired and fed up and think my marriage is a mistake. I'm only 26 years old and I can be doing so much better. Help!

Answer 1

Get an annulment. Get a good lawyer and tell him the situation that your husband lied to you to get a green card. I'm sure there will be no problem for an annulment and then he can go back home and take care of his children instead of acting like a child himself. GET OUT!!!of it as soon as possible. If he lied to you already he might make it a habit and lie and use you all the time.

Answer 2

So sorry this has happened to you. The thing is... you were really trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. You should move on with your life as soon as possible, he shouldn't get anymore free rides on you. As some have suggested, it wouldn't be a bad idea to let the govt. know of the fraud this man is.

I'm more concerned for you, as I know that it is harder being duped by someone you loved and trusted so much. You should divorce him, but I'm so afraid of the impact this has left on you should you be strong enought to venture out and try love again.

Please seek clergy, a trusted friend or counseling to help you through this. Divorce is hard enough, but realizing that you married a monster can do harm to your self-esteem and. Rid this cancer from your life today and start living the best life you can; you will be a lot stronger behind all of this. Take time to heal and the right one will come your way when you least expect it! The best to you.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry you were taken in by this "man". It certainly sounds as if he only wanted a way into your country. I feel that having put up with his lies, not working, and failing his GED course, as well as you taking care of all the financial obligations, you have given him enough of your time. If he had really loved you, he would have told the truth from the beginning. I would not normally advise anyone to get a divorce, but in your case, I think you have taken enough nonsense from him. Leave now, and let him make his own way in the world. You deserve a lot more than that in life, and one day you will find someone who loves you for yourself, and not for what you can do for him.

Answer 4

Crud! I hate myself for agreeing with the majority here. It is my personal opinion that one should not get divorced unless the spouse has cheated. However, there is no doubt that you are just a pawn in his plans to live a life of leisure, and he is moving the pieces quite well. You have two choices. 1) Divorce him. After you take his butt back to the Caribbean, and drop him off! 2) You can get so tough on him that he runs for the hills. Make him study! Make him take each test over and over. Find him a job flipping burgers, so he understands the way of adult life.

The first choice has a few hurdles of course. He could come back at you with alimony requests. However, I doubt he will succeed. He could get lost in the Caribbean so when you want to finally divorce him, you can't find him. Thus destroying any chance of getting married to someone else. Divorce is the only option. You may want to get the government involved and let him know it! It's a stiff penalty for marrying someone just to get your citizenship.

Answer 5

Normally I'm 100% for couples to work their marriage out. On this one i say...DIVORCE! But you are the one to make the decision. It can still be worked out, that's if he's willing to prove himself worthy of being a "husband" to you. Meaning taking a stand to be a man and doing what he needs to make you comfortable and secure. No more lies, getting a job, and working on his GED until he passes. about the kids, if it's only 2?...you guys need to get a clear understanding on visitation and support for them. Whatever you decide I wish you the best!

Answer 6

So no job....and lies... is he making other efforts to make up for it? Like studying on his own to pass a GED? Working around the house, improving your lives in other ways. Hm free sex, no bills, greencard, no work, lays around all the time?... omg what's not to like!? Boot him and find someone that's interested in making an effort in life.

Answer 7

Its never to early for divorce. You need to move on. You can do much better than that. It sounds like you have done everything you can do to make your marriage work. But you know that in your heart if its time to move on. It sounds like this guy just using.

Answer 8

Time to move on from this dead beat guy. Divorce him on the grounds of fraud to gain US citizenship and notify the immigration dept of his fraud. His fraud is a crime in itself to deceive the US govt to gain permanent status. Yes you can do much better so wy are you waiting and next time do your homework, itll save you lots of headaches in the long run. Good luck

Answer 9

I to was the victim of a green card, bloodsucking gold digger. Get rid of him he's just waiting for his 2 years residence and he'll be gone.

Answer 10

the only thing to do is to get rid of him. He's a proven liar. Are you entirely sure that he went on the course you paid for? Did he just take the money and spend it? Get rid of him.