What to do when you want to fix your relationship and your spouse doesnt and theres a 3year old involved?

Question

Been together for 11 years split up 1 time for about 8 months thought it made our relationship stronger.So we had a child,3 years down the road i get depressed stopped having fun and she left with my child.And she is staying at a mans house i dont know who or where or if there is a wife involved?Or if they are tring to have a relationship?But i know its killing me very hard to get up and go to work now.Any helpful advice would be appreciated thanks,Nathan

Answer 1

You cant control where she is or what she is doing, You can't make her work on the relationship if she doesnt want to. What you need to be thinking about is your child. Go to court and try to get custody of your child, or atleast regular visitation. It also sounds like maybe you need to talk to a dr about your depression, its interfering with your life and your childs well being.

Answer 2

Depression is very serious and you need to seek a 3rd party,neutral,person to talk to. A counselor or therapist or someone you are comfortable with. If money is the problem about finding one check out local churches and communities centers. Sometimes there is alot of support groups in a community that are free. Communication, it sounds like is another big issue, if she did leave and so forth, then you should know why and where and everything else. Not unless the way you feel you totally tuned her and the child out and missed everything she had to say. You have to be able to help yourself before you can help your relationship. Tell her you love her (if you do) and that you are going to get help and get better. Some people laugh at depression, but it is not funny and it effects alot of people. It can also cloud your judgement and view of things around you. Then you are left behind while everyone else moves forward. You have to fix it oh, she can't, it is your problem, you have to make yourself better and make yourself be the person you want to be and the dad. It is proably more then just about having fun, why she left. If you know you are depressed then she really knows it. Being around someone sad and unhappy all the time is hard on anybody. But you had better start communicating to her and let her know you are going to go get help and then really do it, don't lie. It may take alot of support from your family and friends to help you thru this and help motivate you. But for yourself you have to try and you need more talking to then from someone on yahoo. Good Luck

Answer 3

Well you really need to understand and know where you stand first before making any decision that will jeapardise the whole relationship. For now you are not sure only suspecting, can you find out of that is true or if you can just ask her what she wants out of the relationship..

If she really wants out then there is no point clinging on to the relationship. However I thnk you should get hold of the custody of your own child. You could be a better person to bring up and nurture your child. So all attention now should be focus on the child well being.. Take your relationship with your wife a back seat...

take care..

Answer 4

I'm sorry to tell you this but it is over. She is fed up with you and your mood swings and not having fun in the marriage any longer. She most likely has found another man and you are now left alone. She doesn't want to fix something that is to far gone and would rather move on and find another guy. You should also move on and find a new women, after some counselling and therapy to resolve this depression problem.

I would also say to you that having the kid may not have been the best choice to make but since the baby is here you have rights to her. If she took off with out any notice and did not tell you where she was going she may be looking at kidnapping charges since it is your daughter too. She has no right to up and go with your kid and not tell you where she is.

Answer 5

This is your second time splitting up! Was it both yours decision the first time or was it hers or yours decision? Because if it was her decision the first time I would say forget and look for someone new. I know it's easier said then done, but it dosen't seem to be for her. It's hard when you have shared that amount of time together but it seems to me that you want to make it work because there is a child involved, but will this be good for the child if you's both keep splitting up . It may be time to find yourself someone new.P.S. You should consult your doctor about your depression before it gets worse. That might be a start for you.

Answer 6

You need to be seen around town with a couple of different women having a good time. As soon as she hears that you are out having a good time she will want to come home. Women can't stand to see a man having a good time. Make sure the women are younger, skinnier, and prettier than your wife, even if you have to pay them. If this doesn't work your wife is not as shallow as I think she is and she really has no intention of coming back. At least you will know for sure. Whatever you do don't sit around sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. Even if you have to fake it go out and be seen. It's the only chance you have. Start now!

Answer 7

You need to talk to a professional. If you are suffering from depression you may need medical help. It is very difficult to see things clearly if you are depressed, and sometimes your behaviour will make your partner lose patience and give up trying to live well for both of you, particularly when there is a child involved.
How about you go talk to a doctor, then when you feel better, you can talk to your ex. Maybe she will remember how you used to be before you became unwell, and will want to try again.
Good luck hon, hope things work out for you.

Answer 8

call your local department of family and children services. I don't think she can legally keep your child away from you. take a long hard soul-searching journey and ask yourself if you really want to "fix" this relationship that is so broken and why you'd want to stay with someone who obviously wants out. Even if you end up getting a divorce, unless she can prove abuse, she can't have sole custody over the child. Good luck.

Answer 9

properly, what did the three twelve months previous do? No canine bites without being provoked. We won't think of they had a reason, yet there continuously is one. There additionally could have been warning indicators (growls, backing away, and so forth.). ought to the three twelve months previous have pulled that is tail, that is ear, that is hair too complicated? Did it corner the canine the place the canine felt it had no get away? became it incredibly a chew? Or is this 'mouthing', that's domestic dogs way of intiating play. i've got seen mouthing in 3 twelve months previous canine that have been by no skill taught suited habit. we would wish extra counsel to enable you recognize why the canine bit or mouthed. are you able to provide us extra?

Answer 10

If you are unhappy and she is not willing to work on the relationship - move on. While having a child makes things complicated, I think sometimes joint custody can be easier than having a child growing up in a hostile environment. You seem like you're very caring. It's certainly not easy to move on...but it seems like this time it might not work out.
-just my advice, the only other thing is talking it out with her and making sure that she is not willing to work it out