Getting married & keeping your last name as your middle name?

Question

Is it customary to keep your last name as your middle name once you get married or to keep your given middle name as your middle name and drop your last name all together once you get married. I've heard several different things and I think it also varies by what part of the country you are in as well as religion. My whole family has taken their maiden names and used as their new middle names and dropped their given middle name all together. Any help?

I am going to take my husbands last name. I'm just wondering if I should keep my last name as my middle... i.e.

Jane Lee Doe once married:

Jane Doe Hardin or Jane Lee Hardin

Answer 1

do what you want

Answer 2

There is really no convention that I am aware that HAS to apply here. I suggest you do this in stages . . . for the original legal change, . . start by using your full name and tack-on his last name (for credit tracibility, e.g. Lauren Marie Hansen becomes Lauren Marie Hansen Clark) Then over the next couple of years, be sure to sign your name a certain way as you enter agreements for checks, home purchases, car purchases, etc . . . . Laren H. Clark or Lauren M. Clark.

What this does is give you some time to decide, and then stick to one convention for your name.

One way to look at this is by the legal marriage process. You would no longer carry your father's last name, as you are going to become one with your husband, and take his name, and share with him in the procreative process of bringing children into life. Together you are working to build a family. By this convention, you could be expected to drop your fathers last name and only keep your husbands, so Laren Marie Hansen Clark would become Lauren Marie Clark or Lauren M. Clark. There is no disrespect, as you are no longer the responsibility of your father, but are the responsibility of your husband. Typically, your given middle name has some meaning, ... some family tie, but if it doesn't, then retain your father's last name . . . either full last name or just the initial.

Again, for the ability to trace your credit records, use all four names when you are first married. Then you can choose whichever convention of your name you want to sign on checks, documents, etc.

Dave

Answer 3

Old school custom has the woman taking her husband's last name. Some feminists felt degraded by this and chose to keep their name as well which resulted in those hyphenated names like Mary Smith-Jones. I think it's dumb myself. Many women now choose to keep their before marriage last name which makes more sense to me than that hyphenated crap. In today's society not many people would raise an eyebrow no matter what you decide to do. If your family name is important to you then don't change a thing.

Answer 4

When I married, I kept my last name as my middle name. I did this out of respect and honor for my father. I was proud of my family heritage and felt that keeping my maiden name was showing respect for that name.

In my family, that generation would no longer continue after my father's passing. My brother never had children, so the name would die with them.

Now that I am divorced, I have taken back my maiden name as my last name once again. I am still carrying that last name with honor. If you feel the same way about your family name, it is more common than you may realize, to keep that name after you marry; as your middle name.

Congrads on your upcoming marriage...

Answer 5

I think it's a personal choice. My siblings all dropped their last names and kept their given middle name. But I like my whole name, it's what makes me me. I couldn't accept dropping my last name, because it is a part of me. Now I have a 4 name name. (?) My husband adopted my last name as well - so it's as if we gained each other, you know what I mean?
For example : John Michael Martin Jones.

Answer 6

Do what ever it is that you feel most comfortable with. I have seen people keep there name and then have a double last name. Once you are married that is only your legal technical name, to use for mainly governmental purposes (taxes, death certificates, birth certificates, mortgage, deeds, titles...) Things such as bank accounts, movie rental places, jobs.... can all go by what you want them to know you as. My hubby has three different ones, his mom called him Daniel on his birth certificate, but on his social security card he is called Danny which is his official name due to government, but at work and his paychecks he is known as Dan. Crazy but it can work like that.

Answer 7

You wouldn't get rid of your middle name altogether, you would hyphenate.

In my opinion, I wouldn't marry a woman who didn't want my last name. It's a huge slap to the face. Luckily my wife DID take my last name so there was no problem there (though she did like her old name better LOL).

The only exception to the rule is if you're in the public eye and people recognize your name. Like if you are a movie star, artist, etc.

Answer 8

I think you should drop the previous name and take your husbands name as a sign of respect for him and his family name after all you are part of his family now and it shows that you have respect for his family name . I hope that made sense and I hope I helped.

Answer 9

You do whatever makes you happy. Taking the man's last name is a very old tradition. These days, women have the right to do as they wish with their names. You can hyphenate, you can keep your name, you can take his or he can take yours. It's up to you.. your name is part of YOUR identity, nobody elses.. do what YOU want.

Answer 10

at the end off the day.its up too you what you want your name too be,you can keep your middle name now and just add your maiden name,its up to you hon,every happiness in your marriage,xxx whatever your name is....lol