He also has two married daughters and therefore no body to look after his son as he has to go for job daily. Though the son is reasonably respoonsible (30 years) but still sometime he creates dangerous things for himself. Now this person only wants to marry for sake of his son only. But our worry is that new wife which as of now is saying that she would be able to take good care of his son may get irritated after some time and then the marriage will be in doldrum. Please advice(No jokes please)
2007-05-11 20:37:42 · 20 answers · asked by Happy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A marriage should give equal happiness to wife and husband. You marry 2 share feelings. Don't use marriage for passing on the buck. A Wife is not a free servent. this man despite having two support poles (daughters), trying to use ESCAPISM.
He is trying to relieve too many things with one relationship called marriage. i.e. sex, food, relaxation, servant for his son, and lastly a security. assuming that he dies 1st, how this lady will be supported? Already helpless, so only she can marry a 53 year old! Is not this right?
As such this proposed marrige is solely 4 the benefit of the old man, of the benefit of the old man, by the benefit of the old man. So if a marriage takes place at this state, it may be LEGAL, MORAL, SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE BUT, BUT, BUIT, BUT, BUT
................................. I N H U M A N ...........
(Knowing consequences, pulling another human living being into a problem. If you are a man, human, with guts face your problem on your own, do not expose others in your fight 4 life)
2007-05-11 23:00:04 · answer #1 · answered by auditorsudhakar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I see it, the mentally retarded son needs a good nurse to take care of him and not a step mother. The father should arrange for such a trained and competent nurse (male or female). If he marries, it should be for his own sake. I can't see it helping his son a lot. On the contrary, it could only multiply the problems. While not all women are alike, it is quite possible that his second wife would marry him with an eye on his riches and would be more interested to disown the mentally deranged son from his father's property. Care for the son could well be the last thing on her mind.
2007-05-12 08:01:10 · answer #2 · answered by Modest 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The disabled son should be covered by Social Security Disability and Medicare, and so, should be provided a case worker that should be able to guide the father towards resources for a home health aide. He should also look into programs for adult daycare in his local community. No one should marry someone just to get free daycare. The father also needs to be looking into resources to care for his son once he is gone. Why are other family members unable or unwilling to help? Though it can be difficult both emotionally and financially to care for a special needs person, he should be made aware that there are numerous programs and resources available, such as Goodwills program for job training and life skills. There are also group homes that may have waiting lists, but are great resources for disabled people who are in danger of being abandoned or neglected either through malfesance or death of the caregiver, Medicare covers the cost of many of these placements.
2007-05-12 04:10:02 · answer #3 · answered by jennifer g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Considering every thing in this regard the best advice would be to forget this proposal. Marriage done on any expectation generally never works. He should arrange some woman only on salary but with very liberal perks including staying at night. At no time this arrangement should form a bond or right and should be in force only as ling as the purpose is served. It is too much to expect that some female will adjust to the erratic behaviors of a thirty years old man and be a wife of his father from his 53rd year.
2007-05-11 21:08:46 · answer #4 · answered by vasan i 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem needs to be dissected in to two parts;
1. The old person - he should marry a suitable woman without expecting the total care of the son.
2. The son - he needs more of a professional care and that could be given by an attendant.
The woman in question can take care of the son in a normal manner and supervise the care-taker...
Hope you find it better...
2007-05-12 00:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by sharma.kulbhushan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person should get married because he love the other person. Not for any other reason. How can that man thinks this woman is going to take care of his son when she doesn't even love the widower. Will he really trust her?
If he's working he should pay for a part time sitter.
2007-05-11 20:49:50 · answer #6 · answered by Lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the son is high functioning, look into programs that will help him get a job, I know every state does not have programs for the mentally retarded, but its worth checking into, I work for a county run progam and for his age they have workshops they go to everyday or they are placed in an actual job, but if they dont then I would look for a care giver, but seems this woman is looking for something by getting married... good luck
2007-05-12 01:17:15 · answer #7 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In such a case his remarriage may not last long as the wife will not be able to adjust with this disabled child. Its but natural that any person who is taken as a wife/spouse would like to lead a normal life as a wife not as a paramedical staff to look after a disabled child of her husband, best is that this person should engage a paramedical staff for general care of this child whom his second wife can supervise this can make his life go smoothly rather just remarrying a lady for taking care of this child.
2007-05-11 20:47:34 · answer #8 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
R U sure who is retarded??
You question kinda points finger to you and not your son!!
or you are just looking for an excuse to have sex with a poor woman in the name of your son.
Men at all ages be it 18 or 53 and not just 30 manages to creat dangerous things!!
2007-05-13 06:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it time for this perwson to look into care for his son. If he is unable and he is a danger to himself then he should have supported care. I do not htink a older person should be
burdened to take care of a 30yr old man just because she is married to the father. This guy has to realize it is too much to ask for a person to take care of a man of this age well, without getting payed to do it. I'm a resident care giver myself and it is a stressful and physically demanding field of work and someone of this age needs to have someone that can handle the tasks and do things with him and for him on a daily basis.
2007-05-11 20:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋