My husband is out of state for his job so we are not together. He called me earlier to let me know that he will be out with his co-workers and told me not to worry & that I can call him anytime. But I got upset at him. So, now I called his cellphone & he won't pick up. Although, he doesn't have a history of cheating ( thank goodness) but I hate it when guys go out because they go to bars and drink and who knows what else happen. He's with co-workers who are also married but I don't trust guys especially when they're out drinking. I don't drink at all & I always have a bad impression on married men who go to bars and drink. He told me his co-workers name & I also tried calling his co-worker to see if they're together but his co-workers phone is OFF. Do I need to worry? What could they possibly be doing and talking about for hours? Maybe they're at a club or nude bar. I really hate to think worst. Help. Thanks.
2007-05-11 20:31:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
According to him, he is out with the guys. We are not together so who knows if he is really out with his male co-workers.
2007-05-11 20:36:42 · update #1
Well, hon, lets look at this objectively:
You're worrying yourself into graying early.
You can't control him: at a bar, the grocery store, work, the gas station, or on the net.
He's with you because he wants to be with you. Instead of panicking, and sounding like a loon on his voice mail, text him something like, "Have fun. Wish I could be there. I miss you." And leave it at that. No fair drilling him when he comes home. Key phrase When He Comes Home. He just wants to be with you without the drama.
Treat him as if he has enough sense to respect his marital boundaries. If he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat, and you tracking him down doesn't stop that. Don't drive him to it. Chill.
2007-05-12 01:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you don't need to worry,you need to grow up and trust your husband. So you don't drink,no problem. Don't sterotype all men who drink as womenizers either. Would it be ok if he and his buddies went to a fag bar? Would you feel better about that since there wouldn't be any women there? You need to lighten up alot and stop being the Physco wife that you are by calling everyones cell phone. Why would they answer when they know it's you only to hear your ragging. Stop it and be a good wife if you want to keep your husband. Maybe you need to start drinking. I't would do you good.
2007-05-12 00:25:38 · answer #2 · answered by seahorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good lord you have NO trust. If you got mad at him then he probably isn't going to answer his phone only to get guilt tripped or scolded again. he might not be able to hear his phone because bars are loud.
you need to get some help because if you don't trust him to be out with other married men for one night you have serious issues. You don't have to like where he goes but he called you and told you he was going out and with whom he would be with.....that is a man who cares about you and wants you to know he is not doing wrong by you.
2007-05-12 00:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure it is harmless, maybe it is loud at the bar and he can't hear the phone when you call, maybe he forgot it in the car, if he has been faithful thus far you have nothing to worry about, he needs time out with friends and co-workers just as much as you or I do, it will be OK, love is built on TRUST!!
2007-05-11 20:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by KrIs 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are way over reacting and way too paranoid. So he's having a drink, big deal. A club or nude bar, so what. I'm glad my wife is not like you. That would really suck.
2007-05-11 21:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by CSM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself, do you trust him totally?
has he ever cheated?
would he be paranoid if you called him and said you were going out with your female friends or co workers for the evening?
all you are doing is worrying yourself unnecessarily.
and because you had a go at him earlier he may not answer right away as he may be cross that you were cross!
take a deep breath. think calmly. leave him a nice message say sorry you lost it you're just missing him, you love him lots, wish him a great night and ask him to call when he's free later.
then either go and call your friends, or go out with them or ask them over, distract yourself from stressing yourself out.
distrust and paranoia can ruin a good relationship. i have moments where i really get stupidly jealous etc but i've learned to control it as it is not a good attribute!
good luck
2007-05-11 20:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by hedgewitch 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
No, you shouldn't worry. He called you to tell you where he was going to be, and said not to worry -- don't you trust him? If you got upset at him during the phone call where he told you where he'd be and to not worry, then maybe he turned off his phone just to teach you a lesson about trusting him.
2007-05-11 20:48:16 · answer #7 · answered by Herb 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really sounds like you have no trust with your husband. If you got no trust then you do not have a marriage. Trust that your husband will be the man you married and if he was already honest enough to tell you not to worry and call anytime.
YOU ARE BEING JUDGEMENTAL AND PARANOID GROW-UP IF YOU COULDN'T HANDLE THIS THEN YOU WEREN'T READY FOR MARRIAGE.
2007-05-11 20:39:08 · answer #8 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Not all guys go drink and go to strip bars. Granted, some do. I think you just have a negative stereotype against "guys night out". I wouldn't worry about it.
2007-05-11 20:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by nateluke06 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Calm down and wait for him to explain what happened!Something may have happened,don't be impressed and start to think far! You trust him so keep it in that way till you find something.You would worry if his co-workers were female.That's what I have to say !
2007-05-11 20:39:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋