My husband and I got a divorce,and since then we tried to work things out and we got back together for awhile but it didn't work.we both have been dating someone new for 6 months now.We still talk and spend time with each other from time to time, and still love each other but cant seem to work out our differences because when we try to talk about it, it brings back the hurtful memories . Is it a good thing to still be close or should we just cut all ties and try to move on? I'm so confused and so much still in love with him,that part of me wants him back no matter what the problems are and the other part of me says we will never be able to get through our differences. What should I do I'm so confused but still so much in love????
2007-05-11 19:58:54 · 19 answers · asked by ekhkygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Allow me to put it bluntly. You're still in lust. Isn't it really just the sex you don't want to let go? Been there so I understand. It will be difficult if not impossible to begin a completely new positive relationship until you sever those ties completely. Nothing wrong with being friends but anything beyond that is counter-productive to your new life.
2007-05-11 20:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by David M 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's time to move on and cut the bond. Really you got a divorce there are no kids involved and your both seeing other people. First off your BF and his GF would not be happy to know that you guy's still talk to each other. If you had this much love for him then you shouldn't have filed for divorce in the first place?.
How can you carry on and find a new love interest if you continue to carry a torch for your Ex.
It is statiscally proven that people who divorce and get back together rarely work-out. The only thing you should be confused about is why don't I tell my Ex. just to stay away and live his life?.
It sounds to me that there was alot of crap that happened when you were married and you will not be able to just patch things up. So come on you know in your heart and your gut that the only intelligent thing to do is to stop all communication ASAP.
God Bless and Best Wishes lots of people find love a second, third, fourth time you get where I'm going with this!
2007-05-11 20:11:33 · answer #2 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it's never wrong to stay close with someone we love and care so deeply. sadly, we realize how much we love them if they are not around, we see their value and worth. however, things can get complicated when we're with them simply because of indifferences. so long as no one is hurting and you are not stepping on anyone's toes, then keep the friendship. but be careful of the consequences, for what if the time comes that he realizes that he's ready to move on without you and you are not? then you are bound to get hurt. also, if the new person you both are currently seeing cannot fathom the idea of staying close with your ex, then be ready to let go of the closeness because if you do not, then it's clear that you are just using the new person as a rebound. a person to help you forget your ex, and that is so unfair. re-assess your true feelings? is your love not worth enough to try and save all your differences? is it not enough that you be willing to sacrifice anything just to keep your loved-one? don't hope for an ideal, perfect mate to come along because in reality, it will never happen. you may find someone who you will love more that you've loved your ex but there will always be some things that you will not like about this person. there will always be differences, because we are just humans. to make the relationship beautiful is to accept all the things about our partner, whether beautiful or not.
i have a perfect song for you, read through the lyrics and see if you can relate to it ...i feel the same way with the ones i love than not having him at all -- remember, we only live once.
good luck!
2007-05-11 20:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by pinkdot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people would be jealous of this kind of relationship, Divorces usually end because of bad reasons, cheating, abuse etc,,,,,if the couple is smart enough to leave at a time when there is only good feelings, then the chances are that the relationship might be a really good one between friends that got married and decided that they werent the right ones for one another.
Would you rather wait a year too long to get a divorce because he/she does something wrong like cheat. Be greatful that you can talk to one another! I have seen divorce preceedings that are like root canals,,and nevermind what happens to the children!!!
2007-05-11 23:37:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes u can. Nothing wrong in that. Marriage is an institution with certan rules & regulations which is introduced by the man for the bettermint of us. So u people r desided to part from that & u both r satisfied with ur dating partner. So now u can continew to be Close friends without the limitations. Marriage is not a license to year mark a person to have sex & make babies. It is a relationship.
2007-05-11 20:24:26 · answer #5 · answered by jsyam2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being polite, nice and having good manners is always a good idea, and it is a great thing especially if kids are involved;however, a close friendship with an ex is going to keep you from having any good romantic relationships in the future, so just keep it polite and nice and about the kids and stop deluding yourself about the rest of it.
2016-05-21 01:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to forgive him for the past. Let it go and learn to be his friend and get along. It is ok to remain friends but if you are still arguing about old stuff then you need to stop. You have to realize that you are different people growing and evolving and get to know the new people you are now not the two people who got divorced. If you want him back you need to focus on going forward and not live in the past. Good luck!
2007-05-11 20:05:59 · answer #7 · answered by Mamma Mia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would recommend to sever all ties... You need to be able to analyze your life and feelings without his intervention or his presence hounding you...
What can be so wrong between you two that is making you separate and keep apart when you are supposedly to be so in love? True love is to accept eachother with your flaws and virtues. There are so many people out there in the world without someone to love so, start by counting your blessings... I bet you have plenty of food to eat, plenty of clothes to wear, plenty of friends to laugh and have good times with, you have a home, you have a car, you have many things you like and now picture all the people in Africa that suffer each and every day without enough food, water, shelter... People dying like flies in Iraq, soldiers fighting for your freedom, etc, etc, etc... And now think about this: Do you really think your life is so miserable with your differences of opinion with your husband to have you so confused, when there are hundreds of people that would die only for the chance to take your place...
Life is too short to complain about small things... Learn to enjoy it and be thankful for what you have...
2007-05-11 20:09:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Apparently there are still some feelings you have. Does he feel the same way? Couples that divorce also reconcile. The best advice I would recommend in order to get closure if it works or not...is get " COUNSELING".
Letting go is hard, but if you were to...wouldnt it be better to tell yourself, at least we tried to get professional help. Makes sense?
2007-05-11 20:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No..Its ur destiny to come back in the same dwelling again which u both left. I SAY NO. LEAVE HIM and FREE Urself. both is essential.
2007-05-11 20:02:57 · answer #10 · answered by syedsafi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋