sex question for the married people here....?

Question

First of all...I'll start by saying my wife and I are very secure and happy.
We have talked for years about the idea of her having another guy just once, or "on the side" if she wanted. We have our reasons for this - please dont bash us for that.
A few times now - we have gone as far as meeting a guy, the two of them starting things, just to have her stop....literally leaving the other guy hanging.
Verrry frustrating for me - and the other men, of course.
Then a week or so later, she says she really wants to try it again - but she always seems to back out.
I would like to ask....
Why does she SAY she wants to do it - then never does?
Do any other couples - have an "open" relationship like this that works for them?
I have no interest in being with another woman...i just want this for her...
Do any other husbands even THINK about this for their wife?
Sorry for the multiple questions...it just happened again tonight and I am curious.

Thanks

thanks so far for the honest answers....
A - we tried the "toy" idea a few years back...that did not do it for her, so we started THIS idea.
B - she is usually the one who brings it up first. A guy she met...a co-worker she is interested in...etc. They will talk on the phone a few times - everything is fine, until its time for the "date".
Tonight she was practially naked with ther other man , but said "sorry" to him.
I would never push her into anything - its always her choice.
Thanks again.

Answer 1

ok you others might jump at me for this but this is from experience
i think she wants to do it but is nervous about it she will get there in her own time if pushed she will just drop it
my wife and i have sheared our fantasies
we were both very nervous our first time lucky we were good friends with the other people
since then we have had MMF FFM MMFF
one thing though you should setout some simple rules (both off you ) and most off all practice safe sex

so my advice is dont rush things it will happen when shes ready no sooner

Answer 2

You lucky bastard tell her you love her and stop trying to make her do something that she obviously doesnt want to do. She seems to keep trying for your sake but cant go through with it. I'm not sure what your reasons are if you just want to watch or what but it is obvious that her heart is not in it//try videos or something if this continues you could really end up hurting someone that loves you a great deal. Not to mention what if you get a guy who wont take no for an answer this could be very dangerous. I'm not ragging on you just telling you like it is. Think about it. I hope this helped good luck

Answer 3

Your a bloody moron by wanting your wife to do this in the first place. I think your wife keeps backing out hoping that you will just give up this stupid escapade. She loves and cares for you and doesn't want to sleep with another guy so just get it through your thick skull.

I would never let anyone sleep with my wife for one it is immoral, adultery, and just plain idiotic. I think you need to get some counselling ASAP. No man in there right frame of mind would want their wife to sleep with another guy.

I'm sorry it you think I'm bashing you but really grow-up because really your extremely sad and pathetic if you got a problem getting it up there is stuff for that.

One other question do you not believe in the sanctity of marriage remember God is watching?.

Answer 4

Maybe the idea sounds good to her but when it comes down to it she just doesn't want to have sex with anyone else but you? You say you want this for her but it sounds like she doesn't really want it. I would think that if she actually went through with it, it would really bother her because she would be doing it to please you. Fantasies don't always do well in reality, maybe that's your case.. I know my husband wouldn't want to share me, and I've known people to have "open" relationships and are now divorced. It's too easy for things to get out of hand. Just enjoy being the only man loving your wife. She obviously loves you enough not to cheat on you even when you say it's okay.

Answer 5

I'm thinking that for whatever reason you have for your wife to be with another man, although she may have sexual desires that probably need to be filled, she may be apprehensive because she loves you and she may feel that although you want her to do this, she has a feeling of cheating on you by going through with this agreement.
She may just want to be sexually fulfilled but can't see herself being with anyone other than you. If there is a problem with you fulfilling her desires maybe you could introduce "toys" in your "togetherness" if you haven't already.
Hope this helps.........just my thoughts and opinion!
Good luck!

Answer 6

Okay John, I find your behavior weird and strange that you want this for your wife. I think the whole thing is for you and it gets you off. She backs out because she was trying to do this for you not her. YOU and HER are marry and should be having sex with each other and no one else. Drop the three some and get on with your marry life. YOU GOT IT!!! GOOD!!!
A Friend.
Clowmy

Answer 7

Perhaps she is saying she wants to try this because she is trying to please you, but she really doesn't want to do it. Being married does put a damper on those other relationships since part of those vows usually include something about "cleaving" to one another and forsaking others.

This is not bashing, but being married is not the same as dating and trying out different partners.

Answer 8

I am not going to knock you on what you two have agree upon. At lease that you two sit down and talk about it and agree upon.

You want to know if I would do what you did for my wife (one day), nope! If she come up with that wild ideal, then the sun is slowly coming down on us.

Answer 9

she loves you and even if you have "reasons" they are apparently not good enough reason for her to have sex with another guy, you should feel lucky and appreciate her even more and not get frusterated but secretly love it because you now know you are the ONLY one for her, stop asking and pressuring her! Good Luck

Answer 10

I hate to break it to you, pal, but it looks like the woman loves you. Leave it alone and count your blessings. Not all husbands are so lucky.