If you give Mom a gift that she doesn't like, will she say so?

Question

One year, I gave mine a gift that she didn't like. She said I should have known better. She had never liked things like that.

I also gave her a cake from a bakery. I should have known she didn't like bakery icing.

She cried and cried because my brother and I were so thoughtless, and didn't care about her. (I was only about 10)

I've been very careful to say thankyou and act happy for every gift my kids give me. Whatever it is, it is always just what I wanted.

How do/did your Mom react to gifts you give? How do you react to gifts you get?

Answer 1

Wow!

Your mom must have been scrict and tough!

90% of moms at least "Pretend" to like it, because its the thought that counts not the material object, if someone gave me some used shirt and said happy mothers day, i would accept, its not about the item, its about how one cares about you even if they dont have money but they still thought about you and tried to offer something to show that they care.

I always react thankful, even if i dont like the item they give me, i can give it away or never use it, but its very rude to say "I dont like this" "I already have it" "You should have known better"

Answer 2

Sounds as if we had the same mother!! I can't tell you how much time I spent looking for the perfect gift for her -- and then having her say "this is the last thing I need"!!

When I became a mother, I realized that one of God's greatest gifts to me has been my children and the opportunity to be a mother. I truly need no other gift. I do appreciate a card, even a homemade card or a phone call.

My three kids are more than 40 years old now. And they have given me another wonderful gift. I am a grandmother to 6 beautiful little girls and 1 little boy. Who could ask for more?

I always give my daughter and daughter-inlaws a mother's day hanging basket or some bedding plants. I can remember, years ago, looking at beautiful flowers and wishing I could buy some but I knew our children needed so many things and our household budget did not allow for spending money on flowers.

I tell my family that I need no other gift.

I think I understand now why my mother really didn't need anything. She was happy just being a mother, as I am today.

As my mother aged, spending time with her became her favorite gift from me. I would take her to lunch and then to a nursery and together we would pick out flowers for us to plant in her flower boxes.

She died at age 95. Today I am still using some of the gifts that I gave her which she saved and never used -- because they were being saved "for good". And now I am wearing pajamas I once gave her for Mother's Day years ago which she never wore but saved in the box with the card I gave her.
Thanks Mom! I needed some new papjamas for Mother's Day.

Answer 3

My mother has always been appreciative. But I usually ask if there is something she wants but at 90 there is very little. So I give her purple flowers; she loves purple and flowers.

Why she was that way? Perhaps she is stress to the hilt and wants something that is not tangible like you two do all the housework, i.e., laundry, cleaning, cooking, and she goes to a movie or has her hair done, all at your expense.

Gifts should be something the person would enjoy and do not always have to be something expensive. Creativity is very good.

As a kid, one of several, I would pick flowers from the garden, place them on the table and make her a nice but easy breakfast. Then we all did the housework without a word, no arguing etc.

Sunday get up very early. Make her a nice favorite breakfast and tell her every hour you love and appreciate her. Then give her money and say please go to a movie and we will see you for dinner, which you will cook. While she is gone CLEAN! Easy her burden.

Answer 4

I'm sorry about how your mom responded to your gifts, it seems that she was very inconsiderate and hurt you for no reason. I would have to wonder if she suffers from depression or some other problem to have treated you so poorly. I think you are responding to your babies as most mothers do. I always LOVE whatever I get regardless of what it is. My mom is the same way, all of our gifts are wonderful (although the one time I saw her cry it was because we managed to figure out what she actually wanted.)

Answer 5

My Mom has taken things back that I have purchased as an adult - but not as a child. I just try to look at it as that she is being practical.

Your Mom sounds like she might have had a problem (at least during that time) that she couldn't express things to adults so she projected those feelings onto you and your brother. Of course, you know this was not normal and you are compassionate towards your children and would never imagine making them feel like that.

We "mess up" our children in ways we can't even imagine. Fortunately it usually isn't such a big deal - kids grow up and they are well-adjusted. Try not to think about your Mom and what she did... it was her problem. There are worse things in the world.

Try to recall the good things... and thank goodness you haven't repeated the problem in your own children.

Happy Mother's Day!

Answer 6

I am gracious and remember that sometimes the kids give me gifts that they wish I would enjoy so I try hard to do or like something new and different...so I really like whatever they choose...now my mother-in-law opened our gift and it was not exactly like what she wanted so she just told me to give her the money to buy it since obviously I did not know what she wanted.
She included that the other daughter in law did know. That was so cruel that I vow to never do that to my children. So some moms say they don't like it and some use the occasion to experience new things.

Answer 7

i think of Sunny mentioned it suitable: merely smile and say thank-you. Do you quite understand her economic subject? Or do you merely think of you do based on what you're instructed &/or anticipate?! in the journey that your a-mom is uncomfy, then not ordinary cookies. that is your first mom, who introduced you into the international, who needs to furnish somethings to the youngster she lost by using adoption... she has neglected out on a lot... a minimum of enable her to furnish regardless of present (or none in any respect) which ever it quite is! Sorry, yet your a-mom wouldn't have a top to sense stressful approximately your b-mom's presents or economic subject! feels like she is incredibly stressful relating to the 'different mom' coming for her infant!!! You and "b-mom" get to make certain what is going in this relationship, "a-mom" does not ought to yet in

Answer 8

Wow, Kiwi, you mother sounds like a handful. I imagine that growing up with someone like that must have been very, very difficult. (My guess is that what you've mentioned in your question was just the tip of the iceberg, and my heart goes out to you.) Was she a drinker? Depressed? She obviously had some, ahem, issues.

I hope that you had other people in your life who taught you your true value, and appreciated your gifts, both tangible and not.

It sounds like you have gone out of your way to not repeat the "sins of your mother" in how you treat your own children. Since most of us learn our parenting skills from our own parents, it's great when someone educates herself by breaking the cycle! Good for you!!

Happy Mother's Day!

Answer 9

My mom has never told me that she disliked any of the
gifts I gave her. She did tell me a few times that I shouldn't
have spent so much.
As for gifts from my kids I love anything that they give me.
Usually it is something that they made themselves or
had help making. (So those gifts mean even more
to me because they took the time and trouble to make
a gift for me). This year my oldest did give me a birthstone
necklace (yes she let me open my gift early). :)

Answer 10

My Mom is totally cool. It is the thought of the gift that she appreciates. This year I sent her 2 dozen roses a card and a Starbucks gift card. She loves Starbucks. We live in different states.