How did you ever stop missing this other person and how do you love your husband again? I never did love him as much as this other man. My husband was much too cold for me. I thought he would warm up but he never did until I met someone else that is more lovable than anyone that I have ever met. How do I switch? Is it too late? Miracles never cease & that is what it would take!
2007-05-11 14:12:56 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No honey, he was always frozen! There is way too much to this story than I can get into here. Now I am a prisoner is all.
I just don't love him. He does not want sex he just wants me with him every second.
2007-05-11 14:37:21 · update #1
Every Sunday that I go to Church is helping me & getting into God's word is REALLY helping me. Gradually as I keep drawing closer to the Lord, my husband is letting up a little bit not wanting me to be with him every second. I am use to being alone a lot and the smothering has been hard on me. It is harder because once the physical side of your marriage starts failing, it is much harder to bond again. It has been so long that I have ever desired him that way, for one thing he kept putting me down physically, calling me an old woman-WHEN I LOOK AT LEAST 15 yrs younger than he does and very attractive! & many other snide remarks but I learned it was b/c he was so insecure about himself. He comes off like he is so confident, no. 1 man around town blah blah-but it was all a facade.
He is going to Church w/me, praying w/me, reading the word of God, being good to me & my children in so many kind ways. He tore up the prenuptial, bought me a new car-paid cash for it. God is faithful!
2007-05-14 05:11:10 · update #2
I still love the other man very very much and I always will. I am trusting God to take care of him and to draw him to see his need for Jesus Christ. He has been severely blinded by satan but I know that even though it was wrong for me to become involved with him that somehow God will use the seed of faith and my desire to be right with God as a witness to him. He knows how deeply I love him. I believe that as much is possible for an unbeliever to love someone, he loves me very deeply as well. I know and believe with ALL OF MY HEART that I will see this special person in heaven, very possibly sooner but if I do, it will be after my husband is deceased. Although I am NOT waiting and wanting that to happen. I want God's perfect will above everything, there is no other way to have peace on this earth. Our desires will always get in the way of true peace. When we delight ourselves in the Lord, he will give us the desires of our heart. I plan on remembering that.
2007-05-14 05:18:37 · update #3
It is now much easier to read the word now that I am not in crisis as I have been in for so so many years. That is the key to overcome, to abide in God's word until it is planted in your heart, it becomes you! John 17 is so rich, I am loving to read all of God's word, it is life, it is peace, it is joy, IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO BE IN GOD, HE IS IN ME, I AM IN HIM-JESUS IS GOD IN THE FLESH!!! WHEN WE LOVE HIM AND REALIZE HOW MUCH HE LOVES US, IT IS SO GOOD TO DO THINGS GOD'S WAY! IT IS THE TRUTH! JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, THE LIFE AND NO ONE CAN COME TO THE FATHER EXCEPT BY HIM!!! When we do things God's way, EVERYONE BENEFITS!!! EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR THE BEST!!!!! I get EXCITED reading God's word. God has delivered me by His Grace to be able to concentrate like I did when I first received the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking in tongues! It is true, it works, the LOVE of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. I have suffered for years and years, most of my life..
2007-05-14 05:30:40 · update #4
I had a very bad first marriage, my husband was an alcoholic but at least he made peace with God before he died. I have had to struggle very much financially & much every way while raising my 3 children but God has set my paths straight. I have peace to sit down & study God's word again. I have a man that God has given me to help me spiritually instead of tearing me down FINALLY! I have a partner in Christ. I have someone that can get excited w/me about souls being saved! He is excited w/me when we pray for someone's marriage to be turned around and God hears our prayers & answers! As long as God is our first love, we can love & appreciate anyone that loves him too! We are COMPLETE in HIM! You can ask God to give you this same revelation and he can open your eyes too! Thank You Jesus FOR YOUR PEACE & JOY that comes from your word & in Your TRUTH! The truth will set you free IF YOU WILL DO THE TRUTH!!! HALLELUJAH!
2007-05-14 05:43:00 · update #5
I am still looking for other overcomers though. Are there any out there? Are there any out there that would like to overcome this detriment to their marriage? I would like to converse with you in either case. Because we need each other, it says in God's word that iron sharpens iron, we need all the help that we can get.
2007-05-14 06:36:27 · update #6
You are not dead so it is not to late. You need to decide who you want and why before you think of doing anything. There are two other real people in this and you can't just string them along.
2007-05-11 14:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by Krazee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You will have to be the one to answer this question for yourself. I stayed with my spouse until he passed away in an auto accident. He had almost no sex drive or very little. He was hard to live with because he had an attitude. He wanted sex only when he wanted it. He couldn't care less if I wanted it or not. If I didn't want sex, I would have to anyway, but it was OK for him to reject me. He didn't want to stay at home, he liked to make me mad and leave. He didn't like to argue with me. I found him very exciting. That was the hardest part of our marriage. I just couldn't leave long enough to stay away from him. I kept going back. This was my fault completely. We both left each other, had arguments and many discussions. Through it all I feel we became a lot closer. We had a very bad marriage and this is not a good example. I always felt I loved him more than he did me. This may or may not have been true. I wouldn't want to go through the same things again. I feel if my husband had lived long enough we would have been very good friends. Overall we had a lot of things in common. Such as going to flea markets, church, we both liked the same music, same movies and had fun as a family at times. I was 16 and he was 18 when we got married. We stayed together 12.5 years and had four children. I feel this was good considering the fact that some marriages don't even last that long. We had only known each other two weeks when we got married.
2007-05-13 11:20:02 · answer #2 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would't this other man seem more appealing? He does not have to deal with the stresses of a marriage, bad attitudes (probably yours) kids (If any) finances and on top of that your own infedelitty. The woman that swore to stand by his side running away to warm up with someone else. I would not only be cold.. I would be frozen.. grow up. If the marriage was bad, you could have divorced and hooked up with the new honey.. get over it, the other man was thinking you were a chicken head anyway.. your husband took you back,, that's commitment and respect.
2007-05-11 14:33:47 · answer #3 · answered by Malika 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When any one you like traumatizes the whole lot you believed approximately your courting with them not anything ever rather feels the identical with them once more. They have now uncovered to you in one more gentle what they're able of and that idea will continuously be there. Remaining with any one that has betrayed you within the worse means handiest way that you're going to take a look at attempt to are living with it and do the quality you'll be able to to position it in the back of you and transfer ahead. The foremost factor that we must pay attention from them is what their preventative measures can be to certainly not enable it to occur once more. The betrayer additionally demands to admire that we can have our down days for decades forward and recognize easy methods to convey us by way of them. Even years from now it is helping if simply out of nowhere they remind us of ways sorry they're for ever hurting us to allow you to recognize that they have got now not forgotten the affliction they brought about you. The handiest factor that you'll be able to do at this factor is to strengthen and larger reminiscences in combination over it and maintain your traces of near communique decently open. When you begin having those ideas ask him to maintain you till it passes at the same time no phrases are spoken and simply stand in combination within the second. Get out of the condominium and maintain yourselves busy and uncover a passion that you'll be able to each revel in in combination. Try to recollect and admire the well to your marriage and consider the ones days in combination and don't enable what has occurred to devour and feature energy over it. The proven fact that the 2 of you have got made it by way of this yr suggests that there's stil some thing valued at combating for to make the entire well get rid of the unhealthy. Understand that from this time ahead you're each developing a brand new begining and your lives will also be anything you are making it. But... additionally recognize that for you there can be no moment possibilities and you're going to finish the connection it doesn't matter what you think or would ever think for him once more. Best needs and I wish matters prove good for the either one of you.
2016-09-05 17:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you go back to your husband? Why are you turning your husband life up side down? You are the one who cheated. You know the old saying ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER. Your husband is not the problem you are.
2007-05-19 12:33:00 · answer #5 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not go back because I believe this instant show of affection is just a ploy to get me back. Besides, I do not believe that we would ever trust each other again. On thing I am afraid is that he might just kill me whenever he gets back to thinking about it, so I had better stay away while I can.
2007-05-11 14:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by Ai 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like your husband is well on the way of improvement. some men can not be warmer and opened to cuddling and etc. do not go with the other fellow, i know you love him because your getting all the attention and warmth that you do not experience with your husband. please give this more time, on your part, it looks like he will be more of the man you really wanted. god bless you dear, it looks like the ball is in your park.
2007-05-19 00:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by smart girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋