Your smile
Your laugh
Your scream
Your thoughts
A stupid genre of lies
Scrapbooks can't hold it all
Pathetic attempts to try
So now slowly fall asleep
If you can't just close your eyes
2007-05-11 12:40:04 · 13 answers · asked by !~CoNvErSe~! 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It's a really good start,it needs a little more to it though.I like it.
2007-05-11 12:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by J♥R♥R 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I love the lines about the scrapbooks and trying to hold on to the memories of the past. That's so emotional and deep. I love this poem.
2007-05-12 18:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by User 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice, really nice.
I'd like to comment on your last line...I think it's better to say -
"If you CAN just close your eyes." or "If only you can close your eyes." or "But you just can't close your eyes."
2007-05-11 19:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Inday 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's really simple. I like it. The last two lines are kind of confusing though.
2007-05-11 20:23:49 · answer #4 · answered by vcperani 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Short, sweet and to the point. Good job
2007-05-11 19:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by rayda1009 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's alright. It think it should've rhymed a little bit more though.
2007-05-11 19:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by Hoffman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Amazing!!!!!!!!
how did ya couch these sentences to perform that pretty pOeM?!!!!!!!
BTW is it a poem?
2007-05-11 19:52:29 · answer #7 · answered by michellen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
creepy but for me thats good
2007-05-11 19:42:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
omg i love it ---it makes me wanna hear a nother 1
2007-05-11 19:43:15 · answer #9 · answered by P&S Thuggin 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think it's too superficial but good start
2007-05-11 19:49:00 · answer #10 · answered by someone 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋