just today, i was looking with my boyfriend on the internet and i saw this picture of a girl on his friend's myspace page, he was staring at it and i asked him if he knew her, he said 'yeah, she used to work in my shop' (he has a shop) - i asked him if anything ever went on between them, he said she made advances towards him but he didnt do anything with her.
he's always honest with me with these types of things, as i always question him about most girls, and he's very open and will tell me 'yeah we did things' or 'we hung out' etc - maybe i am prying too much and hearing things i dont want to be hearing - but i can't help myself - it's like i want to make myself sick with jealousy
Anyway, i got upset over it, more so because I made myself become upset, she looked pretty on the photo, long blonde with blue eyes - opposite of me; long black haired chinese girl.
i feel ugly and horrible, because i know my boyfriend's been with lots more prettier girls than me.
whats wrong with me?
2007-05-11 11:58:54 · 11 answers · asked by hippyJu 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i've been with him for 4 years now, it's pretty serious, but i keep getting upset and sad over stupid things
like when he talks to girls who i think are pretty and that he may think is prettier than me - i think why would he want to be with someon like me, when he could be with someone prettier
oh my god - i feel so ugly
2007-05-11 12:00:30 · update #1
Jealousy is not about your boyfriend. It is about you. Again, the focus of jealousy is the one who is jealous. It comes from low self-esteem. It comes from not being comfortable with who you are. It comes from not being able to trust yourself.
Frankly, you can easily loose this relationship with all this concentration on yourself instead of concentrating on him AND you.
A great relationship has to be worked at. The best formula for a lasting relationship is that both people who are in the relationship are whole persons in and of themselves. They don't NEED the other person. But, they WANT the other person.
So, you might take a look at why you feel so badly about yourself. If you don't work on that and on raising your self-esteem, you can run him off. Worse, you can end up with a guy who preys on girls with low self esteem and get a real looser because you don't feel like you deserve better.
You do deserve better. You were created to be loved AND liked. So, when you are looking for a true relationship, then know that who ever the fella is, he must believe that you are the greatest gift he will ever be given in his life. AND you must believe that he is the greatest gift you will ever be given. That way when the tough times come, and they come to everyone, you two can make it through.
Hope that helped.
2007-05-11 12:17:54 · answer #1 · answered by beeglynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My little Chinese friend. Real beauty my dear comes from the heart. You can be the most ugly girl to others but a man who loves you with his heart is not looking at you physical attributes so much as you as a person. Ultimately, it is the person that you live with and it is that relationship - your day to day things you enjoy doing together - is where real love is found. Jealousy is indeed a curse as it has been said. Get it out of your heart, it will consume you and make you very unhappy or it may even kill you, it nearly did me once when a young man. I still send this girl birthday greetings after 45 years.
Just be yourself and show no interest in what your boyfriend is or has done with other women. If he loves you, he will show no interest in them. If he does not love you he will continue to look at other women and in this case, I suggest you look for a partner who will love you alone and give you all of his heart. You will know this when you find it and when you do, you will have a very happy life. I think it may be Best you move on. Best Wishes and Good Luck - Peter
2007-05-11 12:22:33 · answer #2 · answered by Peter F 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok....maybe I can be of help or comfort. Im also a chinese girl who once went out with a guy of a different race. Apart from my relationship didnt work out due to personality differences. I understand the feelings you are going through, but you must also understand that the reason why you are feeling jealous may be due to your insecurity in the relationship or how you see yourself.
You compared yourself to the blonde girl and started putting yourself down because you saw yourself differently.....you need to look beyond your own skin colour and see whats deeply inside. After all, your boyfriend has.......just try thinking about it....your boyfriend is going out with you in front of everybody....he doesnt see you differently..only you do. He has been with you for four years.....he sounds like he really loves you to the point he is able to be honest about everything.
Dont over complicate the relationship. On the otherhand, if you are able to look beyond your own skin colour but you still feel jealous...you may want to talk to your boyfriend about how insecure you are feeling. You never know...he maybe feeling the same thing...thinking that he may lose you. Talking things through is always good for a relationship.
Be confident with yourself....and see that you are very lucky to to be with such a honest guy:)
2007-05-11 13:49:49 · answer #3 · answered by Bepa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must like you a lot if hes been with you for that long. Ask yourself this if he prefers a girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes over you whos got long black hair and is Chinese why is he not with a blonde haired girl? Well thats because he wants you.
Im speaking from experience here, don't push him and over react about silly things and get overly jealous. I did that with my ex and it just pushed him further away. I dont know why you are jealous but remember that hes with you for a reason and be lucky to have a boyfriend whos open and honest with you.
2007-05-11 12:55:31 · answer #4 · answered by jane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what happen in your child hood since you didn't address that but it seems to me if your guy has been with you for the past 4 yrs and is always honest with you that he loves you and he can look at all the pretty girls or whomever he was in the past for you are the present and I can relate my guy has been with models and I am not one but I am glad that he loves me for me and your guy loves you so lets say you and I both feel great in the present and not live in the past
2007-05-11 12:03:43 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Virgo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you and wants to be with you otherwise he would not be with you, you are reading between the lines to much.
go to your doctor tell him you think u have depression tell him what you have put on here, he could get u some councilling
sounds like u need it, i have been there, best of luck!!!
2007-05-11 15:04:08 · answer #6 · answered by charlene m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just who is he in love with? YOU!!! Who does he care about? YOU!!! Don't sabotage something good. He's obviously chosen you over others. I'd be willing to bet you are beautiful and that those other gals are just friends or acquaintances. Don't worry so much!
2007-05-11 12:12:44 · answer #7 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is not where or how it started but what you are going to do about it.
You have it in your own hands.
Work at it. I wish you well.
2007-05-12 20:29:34 · answer #8 · answered by alan h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
form of obtrusive....divorce, cheating mom and dad, battling, relatives violence....in fact something that probable 70% of people in the international have been by way of....form of relies upon o the guy and how they manage trauma as to the degree of the certainly consequence it has on them....
2016-10-04 22:27:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy dont help at all.Please stop it
2007-05-12 09:20:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋