I'm not greedy, self-centered, and driven. I'm kind, simplistic, and want to be left alone. HELP!?

Question

I feel like I'm not like everyone else. I don't care about work, cars, business, money, and all around me is the rat race to win, survive, and I'm getting forced, literally forced to go in it all, otherwise i get labeled a loser.


I think it's downright evil, and it's screwed up.

I want to adapt I guess to achieve something, to live, survive, be productive, etc,...but it's annoying. I'm at heart NOT driven and I'm not like the countless drones I see everyday.

So what's one to do when he's different from most humans he comes across?

I'm just saying, my basic nature is NOT greed, selfishness or getting ahead.

I simply don't care and want to be left alone.

But I'm finding out that's not an option.

I feel like a slave.


What do I do?

(but I'm aware that in order to do anything in our society, you simply MUST work, unless you end up, literally being a loser)

I'm also NOT depressed. I just see things differently.

Am i the problem? Or, is society the problem

Answer 1

Well, let me see if I can help you along a bit with my own circumstances.

For your own sanity, you may want to pursue a career as a security guard or as a truck driver. Minimum wage forces you to be around people all of the time and you can't afford to eat and have a roof over your head with it.

Since I had some prodigious skills as a child, I was given a false notion that I could use them to make a living. I can't, becuase I'm just not a worshipper of the ideal of status quo. If you concede your free will to force yourself to compete in the rat race, eventually you will fail, because the system only works for those who worship money. They are the only ones conscientious enough about the "science" of material success to practise it ...successfully. And like all forms of success, it DOES take commitment. Look at the gainfully employed people around you, and look what they've had to sacrifice for it, family life, hobbies, recreation, social life. etc.

I'd get over what other people think. If you're afriad of being a loser, then you've already been given that notion that others see you as a potential loser. In my experience, it doesn't matter what you do. You can work 16 hour consecutive days, and poeple will still see you as a loser. You can play the ambition card and search like hell for a potential clientelle for your particular trade or degree, but people will "sense" that you're not one of them (i.e. money worshipper), and not return your calls etc.

Money is for those who love it, and all that comes with it belongs to them. Nothing about it will ever belong to you unless you learn to love it yourself.

What you need to do is define your own interpretation of success, and live your life doing what gives you satisfaction, not what others expect.

Here I am thinking about getting back into private security, because it was the only job that allowed for just enough time away from people that I could get somewhere with my writing :).

Everything in life however is going to force you into doing things you don't want to do, but for your own sake, make sure you're doing enough of what you want in the process to counter balance it.

And there's nothing wrong with not getting ahead. The main reason I hate work is because I'm living in modern America. I'm more results oriented, and I can't stand being in a position where I'm doing mindless rituals with no real "goals". That should make me sound ambitious, but I've never wanted more than I need. I'm a typical artist in that sense. Accomplishment means more to me than profiting from doing as little as possible. Most people work hard, chasing the carrot on a stick. They are only interested in getting to the point where they can live off of the efforts of others, so they spend 20+ years of their working lives making others at the top fat. They are playing a lottery, and the chances of total success are about as statistically the same. They may not be so ambitious themselves if they knew there was a 90% chance they were going to die poor, either by being downsized, by being bypassed for promotions, by boom/bust entrepreneurship, or by finally retiring and spending their hard earned fortunes on health care.

Also bear in mind something very few people are going to tell you. The economic paradigm in the West is shifting. in the 80's, it was union manufacturing jobs, in the 90's, it was my pursued career, engineering. Now IT and accounting jobs are being sent abroad. Within the next decade, graphic design and the remaining white collar jobs will soon follow. Hospitals are going bankrupt and healthcare work is also becomming less desireable. America will become a nation of retail, freight and private militaria.

While the 80 million population of kids who were born between 1984 and 1998 are being told to go to college, there will be almost nothing for them when they graduate.
Something serious to consider for the long run.

Answer 2

You're a very unique person, let's start off with that my dear sir! Your thoughts flow at a different pace then everyone and yes, there are others just like you but no worries; you're sane.
You see things at a different point of view and tend to not care about things most people do. Money, cars, work, etc. Your a simple-minded person, and I do truly know that (from you're input info and typing) that you are def. not self centered nor any of the other traits you listed. You are kind-hearted though, and that can certainly take you somewhere in life.

I take it you're a student in school? High school, is my guess. Well in high school life tends to be pressured on you by friends and their damned addictions, family and even those dreadfully annoying teachers. Well, yes, you do have to put up with all those things and yes, it will be hard. But don't worry, you're time will come when you'll rise against the other students in your class- and you will be noticed for you're deed.

I'm Katie. A female. Age Fourteen. My thoughts are stirred into a pot without a care and I couldn't put my thoughts into words, unlike you can my dear acquaintance. I feel the same way as you do and I do think differently then everyone else too. But just because I'm different then those normal people doesn't mean i'll let myself go unforgotten, or unnoticed, by everyone in my life. So I got into reading with the flip of a page, and here I am- a book on the way, a long with a true life, and a future.

I too also want to be left alone, and luckily I am. This usually sorts out thoughts, when one is alone. But between you and I, I discovered that it's sometimes better if you have a day out with a friend or two. It relaxes nerves and then when you get home, have a lonely day and collect your thoughts, maybe then you'll figure out why you feel so.

Take everything step by step, and relax every once a while. You can fail a quiz, don't sweat it. I'd suggest getting into a good book, because you are someone with a future (I can tell) and I do hope you can put it to use.
Sinceraly,
Katie

Answer 3

I wouldn't say that either are really the problem. The fact is that if you don't like society the way it is, you have the right to extract yourself from it completely...(perhaps some little uninhabited island in the middle of an ocean might suit you)

I have to admit I am more than a little insulted at you calling people with ambition "drones". I know plenty of motivated, ambitious, educated, creative, and animate people who willingly participate in the "rat race" and lead very happy, fulfilled lives. Mostly, they are productive members of society, and the fact is that they are the ones that keep the heads of other people that are less productive..above water. It's not about being greedy and selfish..it's about survivng in the best way you can, and being fulfilled in your own individual way. If this makes a person part of a crowd that is not necessarily a bad thing, but then again, neither is it when a person chooses to stand out from the same crowd.

It doesn't matter where you go in the world, or at what point in time you live, the fact is that people have to provide for themselves..and that involves work. If you choose to live in a society (and no-one is forced to do so) then you have to work a little harder and help pay the way for those that cannot pay their own. That's the whole point of society.

I challenge you to find anywhere you can go where you won't have to provide for yourself in some way, shape, or form....and the cold truth is that this "rat race" that we are in, in the U.S., is a far easier one to win than it is for most residents on this great earth. Wanting to work and to own things is not a crime, a sin..or anything of the like, but neither is not wanting them.

A loser is specifically someone who want others to provide for him...a person that treats others badly. If you truly are kind and simplistic as you say..(and you provide for yourself)..then you probably don't qualify.

The thing I find strangest about your question is that although you choose to refer to participants of society as drones...and infer that this makes them less than you (because they are greedy and selfish), you are obviously bothered by the idea that they may term you as being a loser...

Is that a chink of insecurity shining through your armor?

Answer 4

The forcing isn't literal. Nobody can jump into the process that is you and make you act, make you think, make you feel, make you behave in a certain manner. You say otherwise you get labelled. This means one is allowing themself to be controlled by the opinions of others. Everything is an option if you make it one. Yet choosing to allow other people to make your decisions for you is still a decision that one can opt to make. It's not a matter that all working is bad. It's a matter of finding that which makes you the happiest and turning that into your work. You'll find that this as an end result will be the best thing ever for you. Everyone needs an active calling to feel useful. I guarantee if you were sitting around doing nothing all of your life you'd get bored of it and want something new. Guaranteed. This is your option first year out of high school. Niether you nor society is the problem; Everything is perfect. It is that your perspective could use tweaking so that it could now work for your benefit rather than to your detriment.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aiju9j_uuNZc0Mms12Uq5ZLty6IX?qid=20070429175431AAD2bAX&show=7#profile-info-6ca1027218fb6c82cc59080550a0c853aa

Answer 5

Well, you have to invert your thinking. Ask not "why". Instead try asking "why not".

I too have zero motivation, yet I'm becoming a doctor. I'm extremelely intelligent, yet my unmotivation is far more prevalent.

A contradiction? No--a paradox. We all die and deep down, we all dont know anything, and those who do know "truths" are lies or delusions.

I impregnated a teen, whom happened to be my wife, and now I have a daughter. Why did I do this??? If this was your natural line of thinking, then you must have ignored the most important thing I have said, inverted thinking.

I have zero motivation to have a daughter or raise her. (She actually ended up being raised by mother and mother in law jointly).

Am I adversely affected? No--not really.

If you do not quickly crossover to inverted thinking, your life will become slowly meaningless, if it isn't already.

Did you ask to be born? Do you ever wonder why you were caused to exist?

Life has deep meaning. Life doesnt have deep meaning. Should either of those attitudes change anything?

There is neither a problem of society, or your problem. You are just slightly more insightful.

You would make a great lawyer or doctor, judging by what I read into your question.

Answer 6

Wow Lucas you seem to be really down on the rest of the humans on the planet! Maybe you need to get out a little more and interact with those of us who try to make the world a better place one interaction at a time. I know many people who a wonderful helpful fulfilled individuals who don't strive for power, possessions or even have a car.
If you really don't care why does it concern you that anyone might label you a loser or anything else. If you really want to be left alone there are many choices.
Join a monastery and take a vow of silence. Many monasteries are really needing new blood.
Give it all up and live on the streets.
Just don't live with your parents and complain about it. Thats really pathetic.

Answer 7

Hey there, you answered my post on being lazy, drop me an email or i will email you, you seem to be on my level, its nice to hear someone that is!!

I believe we see things differently materials mean F**k all, you made a great point without knowing it if we don't fit in or cant keep up, or do not agree then there must be something wrong, loooool this is crazy, i think depression is an easy label for people to make judgment on those that don't want to fit into this label of top cars, top money making job!!

Remember something if you fall over and cut your knee it will heal and mend its self but you will never forget ( by the scar) but if you don't LIVE life and your biggest scar will be regret until you die.

you seem wise, stay that way! (smile) society can be wrong, everyone knows it, but accepts it, live and let live!!

Answer 8

You are unconventional which means you are on the outside looking in. It is not society or you it is just the fact that the experiences in your life has shaped our mind and thoughts differently than most and therefore you feel disconnected from a society that only wants and accepts conventionality. The way you describe it seems like your the philosopher type, trying to understand a confusing world and not buying the version of the world others accept blindly.

Answer 9

You just have to find your niche. We all have them, we even all want them. I myself dont care for cars, money and all the frufru of life. I work in a convenience store and have a pretty interesting life if I do say so myself. The pay sucks and I wish I could afford a few more things, but over all this is how I want my life to go. I could never deal with being a doctor of lawyer or something stressfull like that. The most stress I want in my life is dealing with people at the store.

Answer 10

your not the problem, and neither is society..not in this case anyway. motivation is hard to attain now adays' and i too if were not for the shameless acts of society would be exactly like you. however. i am driven only by the need to change the ever crumbling world arround me. if it can't be changed then i dont care about anything. your perefectly normal and this is avctualy a bit on cosalation to me cuz now I know im not that crazy.

its not that you don't care, yopu just havn't found anything worth carring about.