Why do they end up hating their ex wives/husbands? Is it a way to transfer guilt? I am not talking about exes who go crazy and try and interfere in each other's lives. Why do men/women who leave their spouses for another have to turn their exes into the bad guys??
2007-05-11 09:37:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its a way to justify their actions. They do not want to accept that they did the wrong and gave up. They are the fools and what they think really doesn't matter. As long as you were faithful and tried to make it work that speaks loud and clear. If he or she cheats and then leaves for the other person then they are a coward and are not able to handle a relationship. the person he or she ran away with will eventually leave them.
2007-05-11 09:41:30 · answer #1 · answered by Tim VP 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having been married three times and 2 of those to men who had an ex wife, I've seen the gammet.
One of the spouses is so hurt, they try to strike out against them or their current spouse.
They can't move on with their own life because they didn't really want their spouse to leave.
They are socially embarrassed by their spouse leaving that they want to "get even" by any means possible such as financial or starting rumors or other nasty habits.
They can't accept any blame for the marriage's collapse. A divorce is a result of BOTH spouses. It is never just one persons' fault.
They figure that if they harass them enough, they'll come back to them.
They'll hurt them financially enough that they'll have to come back to them.
If they make their current relationship miserable by interferring as much as possible the current relationship will bust up leaving them the opportunity to get their relationship back.
None of it ever works.
SORRY MISREAD THE QUESTION:
The spouse that leaves the home is usually the "talk of the town" because the spouse they left give the town her/his side of the story making the leaving spouse look like a total *^^#($(.
The result of the split is never the result of just one spouse. Yes, even if one cheated. Am I approving of the cheating NO!!! Sometimes spouses can drive their mates into the arms of another by their hateful behavior, loathing of intimacy (limiting the spouse to once every 4 months (like my current husband's ex)), complaining, "belly aching", nasty and hateful attitude towards the other's family, obsession with their own family, obsession with their own wants, the list can go on and on.
Again it doesn't make cheating right.
But back to the answer, the one that left doesn't turn the other cheek, but tell the truth of the situation that he/she isn't the only one to blame and then that gets turned into him/her making the other one look like the bad guy.
2007-05-11 16:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by Carol D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The one that is cheating does not want to admit they were wrong. They one to turn the other spouse into the reason they cheated. They want to make it the faithful spouses fault. They want none of the blame. They blame the faithful spouse and hate them so they can live with themselves. If they blame someone else they do not have to look at what an awful person they real are . Blame the faith person. They can't stand up and say I am the cheat , the liar and the thief for all the things I have done.
2007-05-11 16:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People like to see themselves as the good guy even when they do bad things.
"I'm not bad, its their fault I did it."
Marriage didn't work because THEY didn't give me what I needed.
The idea that one's expectation were unrealistic doesn't entire the picture. The ex is just a failure must of lied to them because they could of not picked a loser.
People who divorce are more likely to divorce against because they don't know how to take responsibly for their actions and simply blame the spouse.
2007-05-11 16:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be a reason they cheated in the first place. If they were happy and the ex was good to them, then they wouldnt have gone looking for someone else.
2007-05-11 16:42:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
All the previous answers are so true. there is a lot of hatred & guilt & the last person you want to blame is yourself, so you take it out on the closest person next to you.
2007-05-11 16:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by danieltiger23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the only way that they can deal with the break up. And they only think of the bad times that they had together and stay angry about it.
2007-05-11 16:41:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easier to hate than look at the mirror every day.
2007-05-11 16:43:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
makes them feel better. They have to pass the blame or they will explode ! No one thinks of themselves as a home-wrecker, whore, etc. -- My ex still doesn't believe she is, but everyone else does. Ha!
2007-05-11 16:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Easy 2 pts.
To justify their own wrongdoings.
2007-05-11 16:41:03 · answer #10 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋