Ever since we have started dating he refuses to keep a job. He has had 4 and has only been out of school for 2 months. He really wants to get married, and I love him to death, but it makes me wonder where our financial lives will go?
I don't want to just up and dump him because I love the hell out of him.
He also wants to live with me after i graduate, but my mom told me to wait until the end of June so I can get things set up and going for us, and he freaked out and told me that we have to live together because he will just get sick without me... what do i do? Do I talk to him about it? I have no idea!! I'm all out of ideas!
2007-05-11 09:36:40 · 9 answers · asked by Misty Lee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This guy has loser and user written all over the place. But he's a little scary too with that "get sick without you" whine. You don't have to wonder where your financial lives would go, you are living it now.....no where. Sorry love isn't enough to turn this jerk into a real man any time soon.
2007-05-11 09:43:11 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hon, you are a lucky girl....you do not have to extract your self from the financial ruins of having lived with him. (4 jobs in 2 months.)
Ok, that said, Congratualtions on graduation!! You have worked hard and now you reap the rewards. Sounds like he's gonna reap your rewards, too.
He wants to live with you after you graduate because he loves the free ride. You will go to work, and clean the house, and cook his meals, and he can play computer all day.
Of course he'd be sick with out you, I'd be sick over losing my free ride, too.
You tell him when he's held a job for 6 months, and can demonstrate an ability to provide for himself, then he has something to offer regarding contributing to your household. You have a job, a car, a checking account, a diploma, and your freedom. Cherish it. Do the things that make you an independent person. Get that apartment, but do it alone. Stay home and save and enjoy this last few months home with parents, and in a bit, walk out that door as an adult. Without Him.
We all love our children, dear. You've got the cart before the horse, here.
Find a man with a car, a job, a checking account, no kids, no kids, and the ability to live independently. Find someone you will be proud to call husband and father to your children. Someone who will be a partner, not a dependent. Especially if you desire little dependents.
You are at a crucial point, I have to be very honest here. You can really hurt yourself right now. Don't do it. Love him, but don't support him. You'll lose the last good chance for him to develop into a man that he will ever have.
Continue school if you want, travel, give yourself the gift of time, where you get to experience yourself as an adult. It's sooooo fun!!
2007-05-11 17:37:15 · answer #2 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run while you can. Are you ready to support him the rest of your life? The phrase, "Leopards don't change their spots," is very true. You should be looking for a soul mate who has the same interests, goals and ambitions that you have in life. If you marry this guy, you will eventually be miserable, because of the lack of common goals. He will always hold you back from getting what you would like to have. If this guy truly loves you, make him prove it. Before you make any commitments to living together in any capacity, make him get a job, for at least a year, and then buy something big, like a car or a home, with payments, or even just lease an apartment. If he can manage to be responsible in taking care of himself financially, then maybe he would stand a chance. If he can't wait, then dump him. As someone in love with you, he should respect your decisions.
2007-05-11 17:12:56 · answer #3 · answered by littlerivercashier 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you love him but you need to realize that you can love someone who isn't good for you and who is incapable of meeting your needs.
The fact that he won't get/keep a stable job says a lot. He's either got some serious mental issues or he's just plain lazy, either way that spells bad news for you. I would definitely talk to him about and definitely NOT move in with him. If you want to continue dating him, by all means, do so but do not move in together or get married until you see that there has been a long established pattern of change (holding a job, etc.)
2007-05-11 17:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by RMarcin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you marry him, you will be the breadwinner. It has nothing to do with who will make more money, it's that he won't even do his part to help financially. Simply put, you will work to support the both of you, while he does absolutely nothing. Is that what you want?
2007-05-11 16:49:18 · answer #5 · answered by fun_purple_beach 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a waste of your time. Keep him and you'll never have anything to call your own. He can't get a job because he don't want to. Remember,can't means won't. Lose him fast.
2007-05-11 17:16:49 · answer #6 · answered by seahorse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a bum that doesn't want to work for a living and wants you to support him. Dump him, he'll make your life a living hell.
2007-05-11 16:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
the only thing to do is dump him. he has no intention of getting a job and expects you to support him.
2007-05-11 19:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by woam 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a real loser to me. Get rid of him fast! Anyone deserves better than that!
2007-05-11 16:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋