I'm talkative and I don't know when to shut up... help?

Question

Any advice/tips is greatly appreciated; and telling me to "just shut up" doesn't work... because I'm not aware that I'm talking too much until the aftermath.

I do listen to people! I'm just so darn curious and I am always wondering about things out load or I may ask someone a bunch of questions... they may seem like stupid questions... but I really want to know the answer!

Oooh... I don't talk when I'm nervous. I am only talkative around people that I know well. Other than that, I am EXTREMELY quiet. I'm like two extremes...

Answer 1

You are Singing My Song! I know what you mean. You are exuberant, excitable and intense. I am too. But there are some tips in dealing with people. It's all in remembering what you're doing. Take a minute and remind yourself that everyone else is usually thinking about what They are going to say (it's true) and that you are Not The Problem. You are the Cure. So practice deep-breathing exercises and get the air down into your diaphragm (you practice with your hand on your stomach) before you launch into your own personality.
And then I personally, have to remember to be ready for the Hits that come when you are "intense". (Hateful people call it High-Strung or being a Show-off)

They need you. You are interested in them and you want them to like you. When people give you that "Who Gives A Damn??" bull you know you can raise your hand. Because You DO care. Settle down and relax. There is plenty of room in this world for you. And if they don't like it..................come over here and sit next to me. I would not lie to you about that. @8-)

Answer 2

Just try not giving anyone any kind of advice for a couple days. When you're talking to people ask them what you want to ask them, listen to what they have to say, and then just say okay and change the subject. If you begin to cut each topic down, and not worry about all the other questions you have, then you should be okay. I think the problem is that you spend too much time discussing one topic rather than changing topics frequently. There's nothing wrong with being talkative, but if you really want to change it, then just take small steps and work toward not talking thru an entire conversation. Or you could even try sitting and listening to two other people have a conversation, and not say anything. Just let them talk and listen until they ask for your opinion. It'll help you to be patient with your ideas, and if the conversation ends and they never ask for your opinion, then don't worry about it. Just totally forget about everything they were talking about. If you want to remember the topics you discussed and still have questions then you can think of them later and find out the answers to the questions you have when you're online.

Answer 3

If you cant figure out when to shut down , Transactional Analysis would say that the Child in your self is hooked. Only way to control the situation is to get your Adult hooked very well. Read " I'm OK your OK" ," What Do You Say After You Say Hello" and " Games People Play" from Dr. Eric Berne .
These books in pop psychology will give you and insight into the dinamics of personality and social interaction. As soon as you begin reading your Adult will be hooked.

Answer 4

Lol, I want to be like you. I'm like non-talkative.

I think you got the sense that you ramble. Uh, well when they start to speak, you know that you should shut up and let them speak. When there's the awkward silence that follows the conservation, say something random and see if they'd like to fire up the conservation.

Questions aren't as bad as you might think they are, but if you sometimes if you are asking questions with obvious answers, that could give you something more than just the talkative type. They help ignite conservations and it probably makes the other person more comfortable, so don't regret asking questions. Just don't ask stupid ones =)

Answer 5

It is okay to be talkative. Just because everyone else may think you talk too much, doesn't mean you should stop being the person you really are. Who cares what is going on in their head. This is your life, your rules. Do whatever it takes to find the hidden answers to your curious thoughts. Life is full of questions, and you should have the right to question life.

Answer 6

Think about others first. Wait. Listen to see what they have to say. If nobody is saying anything, then go ahead and talk. But, after you finish a point.... PLEASE.... be quite for a moment and listen. Someone might have something to comment on regarding what you just said. If you just keep on talking, they'll give up trying to particpate in the conversation. If that happens, you'll be talking to yourself. Others tend to start side conversations just to have a TWO WAY conversation.

Answer 7

Its fun to have talkative people around, especially if they make sense and allow others to speak as well.

Listen and ask questions.

Think about what is being said. Pause between your speech to ask them for feedback or their opinions.

Learn to say more by speaking less using body language, wit and humour.

When you speak see how you can best offer positive advice, uplifting sentiments and constructive solutions.

Answer 8

Have the same problem so i should know. All I do is put my lips between my teeth or just cover your mouth, and stay like that for a while then you'll get used to it. I don't know if Ive been of any help so yeah.

Answer 9

Come to the point quickly, and once you have made your point, then just shut up. Avoid detailing every little thing that was done or said - in other words: don't give a play-by-play description.

Answer 10

talking isn't all that bad. u're expressive and that's good. maybe u talk too much cuz u're in a situation that makes u nervous. if not, try not to talk fast. catch urself n think before u say anything - even minor things. u'll develop it into a habit then.