She has had her first 2 taken away by the state and she is 21 weeks pregnant with 3rd boy now. She says if the state takes this one, she will just go have another one. She is practically hopeless, no job, poor health, emotionally unstable, homeless and no where near ready to be a mother.
What advice do you have?
2007-05-11 09:23:39 · 20 answers · asked by ♫Hope♫ 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well, first of all you really can't make your friend do something that she doesn't want to do. No matter how many times you talk to her and how many things you try to make her see, if she wants to keep having kids then she's going to do so. Yet, you can still try to make her see things from a different point of view. Ask her what kind of mother does she want to be to her children. Does she want her children to remember her as someone who was just never there. A woman who just neglected them to the point where the state had to intervene because they feared for the safety and well-being of the kids?? Try to make her understand that she is in no way financially, physically, or emotionally able to take care of these children and if she thinks just having more kids is going to be the perfect solution she is completely wrong. The more she has, the more the state is going to take away. It would be a wise decision for her to slow down on the baby-making, get a job, get a place, and get her life together. Once the Department of Human Services sees she is getting her life back on track, they might be willing to review her case and give her a second chance at raising her kids. Yet, if she just stays in the same situation and continues to bear more children, they are going to see her as being even more unfit for the role of a parent.
Try to talk to her as best as you can but it is completely up to her to change or not. Remember, you can't make someone do something they don't want to, especially when it comes to making babies! Good luck with everything!
2007-05-11 09:38:34 · answer #1 · answered by ~*Jayden's due 9/18*~ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs a psych evaluation. Maybe her parents were not there for her. Some people feel that having a baby will fill a void that they have. Just keep being there for her. Remind her that these kids she is giving birth to are innocent victims. She needs to learn to take care of herself first. How does she thinks these children will feel in 18 yrs when they are able to come look for her on their own. She is selfish. I just think she is acting out for attention
2007-05-11 09:30:56 · answer #2 · answered by ladybug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry, for your friends. Have she ever heard of tubal ligation.That might help her in the long run. I really don't understand if she's already have 2 kids taken away why keep having another one. When her kids get older they will really resist her. But anyway good luck!
2007-05-11 09:32:41 · answer #3 · answered by nauisea27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not approve of people having children if they are not "fit" to raise them. I love my son, i wish financially i could raise a ton of children. there are people in the world that would love to have children but cannot, and then you have people that can have many children but cannot or will not raise them well. If someone wants to have children they have to look at what is best for the child. Not just what they want. You have to be able to provide; devote and love your child. that is your number one priority (besides working). Talk to her from the heart and suggest maybe councelling as to why she wants to keep having children but cannot raise them. there obviously reasons if the state is taking them away.
2007-05-11 10:28:27 · answer #4 · answered by Dacia L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my husbands sister. She did some things and messed up and ended up in jail so she finnally got her tubes tied after 3 kids. Everyone told her that she needed to stop having kids that she diddint treat them right and the state was not going to give them back and she wouldint listen. I guess your friend will just have to learn her own way.
2007-05-11 09:28:44 · answer #5 · answered by SaChiE 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't stop... it's a pattern. I know a lady who has 4 taken away and is working on 5. How sad for the kids.
2007-05-11 10:07:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont imagine there is any wish for someone like that. I dont recognize how lengthy you've been friends consisting of her yet i'd allow her pass as a buddy or she will be able of emotionally drag you down.
2016-10-18 07:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with her and have a heart to heart. let her know how concerned you are about both her and the children and that it is not fair to the children. tell her that she should get a job and make a life for herself before trying to have another baby, that way she will be able to keep the baby. if she doesnt do that first they are just goign to keep taking the babies away.
good luck!
2007-05-11 09:30:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its sad that she is keeps on wanting to have children knowing she can't take care of them.. why did the state take the kids???
talk to her about getting some birth control...
2007-05-11 09:28:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't! She is hopeless! She needs to be sterlized! Since that isn't going to happen, I'd just get away from her before she finds a way to drag you down with her!
2007-05-11 09:29:09 · answer #10 · answered by wish I were 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋