we dated 4 years ago. recently got back in contacnt. he is now in a relationship with someone else and is very interested in meeting up with me. i think he wants sex . but also he lieks to talk for hours to me and says he loves me and misses me. he says if he could do it again he would have picked me and not the one he is with now . but then he also says " Oh i have to stay becusae i have a house with her adn ill have to pay alimony " do u think he really lvoes her & wants a fling or do u think he is sincere and theres a chacne that he could leave her for me ?
2007-05-11 08:54:14 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hes also talked abou tleaving her . like what would happne if we got togheter, and who would get the house and stuff. so hes tlaked both ways before.
2007-05-11 08:55:10 · update #1
Run, he's looking for action and the chase and you are the prey.
2007-05-11 08:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by KC 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Grass is always green on the otherside. This guy is bored with his marriage and is looking for some excitement and he has found an old fling to manipulate. You say he talks about leaving his wife, but at the same time talks about having a house together and having to pay alimony.
He tells you he does not love her and wants to leave her, oldest trick in the book to get some sympathy $ex on the side and still be married. I am assuming you are lonely and thus trusting this guy.
If you really want to be with this guy and he wants to be with you, then tell him you will wait for him, but he needs to get his life straight, get a divorce and settle financial matters with his wife first before pursing a relationship with you. Give him 6 months to get his life in order, if he does not agree, and might say its not that easy.... I suggest you show some respect, self esteem and dignity for yourself and walk away. Go find yourself another life.
2007-05-11 16:17:59 · answer #2 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's that "LOVE" word again. Such a classic thing to reel you into thinking you might have a future together! He's already stated his fear of paying alimony...that's the whole reason he's too much of a coward to leave in the first place!
Stop contact with him now and save yourself all the grief, deception and heartache that you'll most certainly endure IF you choose to jump into bed with him. The reality hurts, the truth of the matter is that over 50% of married people cheat!
2007-05-11 16:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by Perplexed 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is fun to fantasize about what could have happened if only we made a different choice in mates long ago, but when reality kicks in few can make the switch years later. However, it is done everyday. In your case he could eventually leave her for you. You should tell him you will give him 6 months to leave her and then call you. If you don't hear from him by then that he has left her, you will move on.
2007-05-11 16:03:52 · answer #4 · answered by Toosense2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's cheating on another person why wouldn't he cheat on you. He needs to talk to his wife. He won't leave her he has to much involved in that relationship. If he doesn't love her get a divorce. I know how it feels to be lonely but if you really look around you can find lots of things to take up your time. My husband died in 2003 i was devastated didn't know how to start over untill Jan of this year, I ran into my lover from 96 & i was still seeing him when i was dating my husband. We finally broke up in April of 99. I got married in Oct 99. Hadn't seen him since 99 he now has his own business we just picked up were we left off. We were so happy until last month when he changed, all of a sudden he didn't want me around only when he needed sex & stopped talking to me about anything. So i broke up with him Mon. night as I was leaving I told him to have a good life. I meant it & my heart is breaking but i deserve better. You do to. To Thy Own Self Be True!!!!!!!!
Extra Hugs to You,
Star
2007-05-11 16:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by texasstar1974 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you don't meet him, then he can't try for sex. Problem solved. No is an option here.
1. Yes, he wants sex.
2. He isn't the same person from 4 years ago.
3. You aren't the same person from 4 years ago.
4. He's married.
5. Grass is always greener....even if it's weeds.
6. Talk is cheap. The walk counts.
2007-05-11 16:14:21 · answer #6 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He may end up leaving if he really wants to be with you. Tell him you are going to stop talking to him until he leaves her. You will find out for sure if he cares for you or just wants something on the side.
2007-05-11 16:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is just looking for some side pu ssy to spice things up. While he may have soem feelings for you, if he hasn't left his wife by now, what makes you thing he will after he starts banging you? These things almost never end well for the mistress.
Your best bet is to get out of this situation ASAP and find your own single man/
2007-05-11 16:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mom always told me one think when you are the wife you have nothing to worry about when you are the other women you do because all that is a fling just wanting to have sex and would do anything for it. if he leaves her and when he leaves her then you should believe him other than that you are just an affair and i think you could get a man of your own not have to share.
2007-05-11 16:00:16 · answer #9 · answered by cutebunny1122 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seems like most agree, this guy isn't the one for you. Sounds like he is using you, my advice would to part ways for good. If he cheats on his wife, he will cheat on you.
Also, a real man, if he was unhappy, would do work on his marriage first through open communication, counseling, etc. then if it couldn't be worked out, leave her first before looking for a new love interest.
2007-05-11 16:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by TheSafetyMan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he actually leaves her then iut may be fine for you to get involved at this time he would be commiting adultery if he does anything with you. Tell this guy that he is wasting his time talking with you if he is that unhappy and just want's out of his marriage then get a divorce and then maybe he can contact you again. Until then I would tell him you do not feel comfortable talking with him, and that he spend his time working on his marriage then thinking of cheating on his wife.
Please do not be in the middle of a affair if that is what this guy wants!
God Bless and you know what the right thing to do is use your common sense.
2007-05-11 16:11:27 · answer #11 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋