I previously posted a question about my husband getting a new job that made him gone all day. I brought it up to him about quitting and I even offered to help by getting a job myself just so that he could spend more time with us. At the begining, he was okay with the idea, now out of the blue, hes refusing to quit! I have a VERY low self esteem to start with, and its making me think that maybe there is a love interest? Why else would he not want to quit if this job is getting in the way of family time??
2007-05-11 08:16:12 · 27 answers · asked by Blue 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is working 12-14 hr shifts!!
2007-05-11 08:24:18 · update #1
I am sure he feels torn. He obviously wants to provide well for you and the only way he can do that right now is this job. Your VERY low self esteem can cause your imagination to wonder in the wrong direction. Fill your time with something you enjoy and cherish the time you DO have together.
2007-05-11 08:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by Threeicys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So let me get this straight. You don't work, so your husband is the sole provider of income for your family. He works 12-14 hours a day, and that's a problem. Did you not think it would be when you made the decision for just one of you to work? Of COURSE he's going to have to work long hours. The man's probably just stressed out about where he would get his next paycheck if he quit this one. He can't be productive at his current job if he's constantly being hounded by you to quit AND trying to secretly look for employment elsewhere that pays just as well with fewer hours.
Talk to him again. Ask him why he doesn't want to quit rather than telling him why he should. Chances are he'll open up to you, and the two of you can go from there.
2007-05-11 14:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank God he works. My ex had not worked the last 10 years of our marriage. He only worked 33% of the time during our marriage. I worked 50-70 hours a week to pay the bills and raise the kids. Went back to work when my second daughter was 8 days old, because he lost his job for stealing.
Enjoy him when he is home have your home clean and nice. Have dinner ready for him so you can get in bed with him when he gets Home. Get in shower with him and wash his back. Treat him like a king. You may not have a lot of hours with him but make the most of them.
If you think he is not working all those hours check on his pay stub to see if he is putting all those hours in. If he is not get a detective and proof where he is going. Low self esteem start with taking care of yourself and your home. Only you can let some body take your self esteem away. I know , I let my ex tell me I was crazy when I accused him of cheating. I was not crazy. He cheated on me 4 times. Be thankful for a working man.
2007-05-11 08:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by springer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
right here is what to do: a million. start up construction a brick and stone wall around you and your baby that protects you the two out of your husband. stay with your dad for a on a similar time as and use this time to get returned on your ft. pass returned to college or get a job whichever works superb to your subject. verify you pass away a window in the wall for a sturdy guy to get by way of whilst the time comes! 2. comprehend that in many cases we like people who're poisonous to us. you're a mom now and that accountability continuously takes 1st chair. human beings can cope with you badly and you will opt to enable them to in case you desire. in spite of the undeniable fact that as a mom you could in no way enable absolutely everyone harm your baby bodily, emotionally, or mentally. it is your accountability as a loving mom! 3. there is no experience in going to mediation. Your husband is unreasonable and unpredictable. Get the wonderful criminal expert which you probably purchase and don't be silly adequate to think of that your husband will exchange. Get your restraining order in place and don't experience responsible approximately it! 4. you do no longer ought to erase the previous 4 years of your existence. The previous 4 years could at present look as though a waist of time, yet you will sometime comprehend that those 4 years have formed your existence to make you a reliable, autonomous, and warrior like women. 5. Your son does merits a real dad yet i'm sorry your huband would not come close. Your son's father is performing violently & irrationally in direction of you and your son. Your husband chooses what he's responsbile for and whilst he would be in charge, and that may not the movements of a being concerned father. 6. This adventure on your existence isn't your fault. What doesnt kill us, makes us better.
2016-11-27 19:14:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a job is part of a man's identity, and part of being a provider.
It can be very stressful for some people to leave a job, and Isome men feel like they are not contributing when they are unemployed. What's wrong with looking for a new job for now for a few months then just transitioning?
2007-05-11 08:26:15 · answer #5 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not his responsibility to lift your self esteem. Having a job where you're gone all day is pretty normal. Maybe he likes this job. Maybe he needs the time away to himself. I love my boyfriend more than anything, but no way do I want to be around him all day every day. Sounds to me like you need some time away with a therapist to look into some your own insecurities.
2007-05-11 08:21:04 · answer #6 · answered by Marjie F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my uncle used to put in outrageous hours, 100+ a week, and my aunt was always complaining that he was never there, he's never home to do anything with. He cut it down to two days one week and three the next, and only 12 hours a day, now she complains that he is always home, she never gets any time alone. Your husband probably likes to work, is getting bored of sitting around doing nothing but feeling like a slug, and maybe he wants to provide for his family.
2007-05-11 08:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by tomhale138 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is it may be a good job, he may be thinking of things in the future and providing for his family, It may be the first job that he realy like and does it well.Depite what you might think men alot of time,don't just think about the here and now.
2007-05-11 08:26:12 · answer #8 · answered by David H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably has to keep the job to support the family.... what would you guys live on if he quit and could not find a job right away???
2007-05-11 08:21:55 · answer #9 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were married to someone who began a sentence with the word "okay" I would work 24 hours a day just to get away.
2007-05-11 08:29:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋