My wife left me a little over a month ago and moved back to the US from Canada. She took our 5 yr old daughter with her and informed me to throw out all her stuff and I can only call before 9pm if i want to talk to my daughter.
We've been married for just over a year but have been together for 12. I know I did alot of things wrong but at the same time she says she did nothing wrong and it's all on me. It was a whole bunch of issues and it was all equal. Now here I am working, having my friends come over and enjoying my tme but now she wants to return. The way I see it is that she doen't like living at her Moms and being a single parent. She has my sister and sister in law watching me,(I met a nice girl who is just a friend but she knows all the details) telling me who and where I've been and that she cannot believe I am acting as if I am not married. She walked out on me. It broke my heart but I said I will not let it destroy me. Should I trust her again and let her come home?
2007-05-11 08:07:27 · 22 answers · asked by stalkingwolf35 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she left once it will most likely happen again. How many times do you want to go through this? It will hurt your daughter too. If you are getting along okay without the wife, then stay separated for awhile. Tell her you need more time to think about what happened and that your just not sure if you're ready to work it out. In truth you may find you are happier apart.
I don't doubt she is hating life at all. Compared to being a single parent living in your parents' home, whatever you were going through must look heavenly to her now. Don't fall for it. Your little girl will do much better seeing her daddy happy and having a good life than watching him be miserable in a bad relationship.
2007-05-11 08:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by Alchemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you really don't want your wife back. After all she left you. If you really wanted her back than you wouldn't be asking us on yahoo answers if you should take her back she back with you by now. You mentioned that both of you did a lot of things, both equal, the picture suggests that your wife left for a reason, may be as a wake up call to get your attention. I imagine she thought you would have asked her back by now, and now that you have a female friend that is adding salt to an open wound. She feels that if she doesn't come back than this other female will take over that special place in your life that she once held. I know you have a hard decision to make. You have to look at all aspects of this relationship. If your taking her back out of pity than maybe you need to stay separated. But if you truly love her and think that you can make it work than take her back. Canada and the US or not that far apart but can be a lifetime away when trying to see your child. So think seriously about the situation.
2007-05-11 08:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this is sad!well you know she walked out and took your daughter away to a different country Now your probably right she don't like to live with her mom .It is none of her business what you do now she should of though of that before she left what are you suppose to do sit and wait ?I,m sure you are a very good dad and were sad to come home and every body was gone woman i tell you we never know what we want in the end you have to do whats best for your family i guess it is what you feel inside that matters lots of luck to you take care take it easy
2007-05-11 08:43:43 · answer #3 · answered by lavampire2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to give her a chance I would make sure that you both have a clear expectation on what is acceptable and what isn't with your second chance.
Things like bringing up the past, or past things you both did to each other that was hurtful or toxic should top the list. Let her give input to you may be surprised at the things that bothered her.
If she starts getting petty or refuses just tell her maybe it's for the best we both know up front that it wouldn't work.
If she seems genuine about it maybe she's willing to compromise and you can both start a life together again.
2007-05-11 08:37:53 · answer #4 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Stalkin,
It's clear you are a person who has an excellent sense of fairness and determination.
These are the exact traits that you MUST use to get you through this whole situation with your wife. I
In fact those traits can are the EXACT KEYS that will unlock a relationship between you and your wife that's inspiring and passionate and trusting and alive and intimate that others around you will look at your relationship and admire what you have.
What's also pretty cool is that your situation is pretty simple to fix as long as you have the right people to help you use those keys.
I know some folks over at When Love's Talking. They can help. Visit their website and see what you think:
www.whenlovestalking.com
Peace.
2007-05-11 08:25:24 · answer #5 · answered by brad t 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Me being a woman and this my point of view take it or not. I would really think first about the child but if there is alot of fighting when yall are together it is best to stay apart because the fighting is not good for the child. Now the other thing she does not want you but she don't want to see you with anyone else that is an issue she will have to overcome.. I think maybe she just wants your life to misberable like hers... I wouldn't take her back she walked out not you.. Enjoy your life
2007-05-11 08:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you BOTH need to go to counciling and do what's best for your daughter. Whether you want to face up to it or not, it's not just about the two of you and what the two of you WANT. It's about what your daughter NEEDS. And your daughter needs a mommy and a daddy that can provide her with a safe and happy home filled with love and encouragement. Otherwise she's going to grow up with absolultey no value for marriage, commitments, or doing what's right. She'll have you and your wife as role models, and given your current behavior it scares me to think what she'll end up like. Good luck.
2007-05-11 08:15:00 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your going to have to talk to your heart and figure out whats more important to you your wife ,daughter , friends , the nice girl .They all have a place there you just have to figure out what one comes first.
2007-05-11 08:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, the statistics are on my side. If she left you once, she'll do it again. You would just become a base of operations while she looks for another way out.
2007-05-11 08:21:45 · answer #9 · answered by mojonah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her back, but only on the condition that you get counseling. It seems to me that she needs to be on some kind of medication for depression. Dont tell her that... just go to counseling and it will all come out in the wash. The doctor will put her on any medication she may need.
2007-05-11 08:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋