Me and my husband have been together for 3 years im 8 months pregnant with our first child to look at us from the outside you would think it was wonderful but behind closed doors we dont talk, touch, have sex nothing we our like brother and sister he does his thing and i do mine. We have talked about splitting up but its pretty much put aside everytime. Ive told him im not happy but i dont think he hears me. How can we put the spark and want to back in our marriage like we used to have. Im ready to give up what should i do because talking and trying to convince him isnt working?
2007-05-11 07:42:08 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Arrange for marriage counselling.
2007-05-11 07:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by Iqbal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't give up!!! You and him made a commitement to each other and very soon you will be bringing a baby into this world together. What were the things you two did when you first met? Go to a counselor and/or pastor and maybe they can help. This weekend do something special together. This is technically your first Mother's Day so celebrate that together in a special way. Marriages go through ups and downs and you got to work at a marriage. Remember the for better or worse part saying? Once you see that sweet baby's face that was created and only could of been created by you and him; your marriage should get better. Just remember to give him attention still and not totally ignore him when the baby comes. So, put some makeup on, fix your hair, wear a nice outfit and celebrate this weekend with your husband. Have a Happy Mother's Day, Congratulations on your baby, and Good luck with your future.
2007-05-11 08:12:06 · answer #2 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness is an inside job....dont give it away to other ppl, not your husband, your kids your family. Only you can decide to be happy right where you are. Love on the other hand is a commitment, a behavior and an attitude. So you just need to determine if you are both willing. One no cancels the whole deal...but as long as they are both yeses, then there is a way. God is at the top, overseeing the both of you.....if you are looking to your husband for all the answers then he may just have too much pressure or strain....he shouldnt have to carry your happiness..... last thought---you are pregnant and your hormones are nuts.....check with your doc to make sure this isnt hormonal or depression of some sort....if your body gets worn down because you need vitamins, iron or other supplements you will feel like everything is out of wack... all the best.
2007-05-11 09:30:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby for the first time can put strain on any relationship.
There will be financial obligations you didn't have before, ideas on how to raise the child, and it puts a strain on your social life.
Some men don't want to have sex when the pregnancy is further along because they think they will hurt the baby (which they won't)
Where you unhappy before you got pregnant? If not then you really need to talk about your fears, concerns about having this baby and what you both expect.
If you were both unhappy before then you need to dive in deeper. Figure out what it would take to make you happy and see if it's something you can incorporate into your marriage.
2007-05-11 08:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by english_sweetie2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to your letter, he is not being abusive or mean. Therefore, given that you are 8 months pregnant, I would stick it out until at least 6 weeks after the birth of your child. The reason is that, having just had a baby in the past few years, I can tell you that your hormones are probably crazy right now. Also, even if you guys are only great friends right now, he still deserves to be there for the first few weeks of the baby's life until you guys can decide what to do. If you do decide to call it quits later, try to maintain a friendship for the sake of the child. Hope my advice helped. Good Luck!!!
2007-05-11 07:50:00 · answer #5 · answered by tc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you both agree what married life would be like? Why doesn't he see what's going on? Why is he happy with the way things are going? Talk about the "us" of the marriage and not about the "I wants" and see how you can work that out.
You made a commitment when you were married - for better or worse. So you're going through some worse. All marriages have them and they need to be worked out. It's too easy to give up on someone and go to the next and the next hoping to find happiness without having to work at it.
Try marriage counseling if you can't figure it out yourselves. Don't give up, choose to honor your commitment to each other and work at it.
2007-05-11 08:09:17 · answer #6 · answered by V 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to go for counseling. This doesn't sound like an abusive situation, or one involving infidelity, so I think you need to take divorce of your list of options. You and him took VOWS in front of GOD!! and now you have a baby on the way! Get your heads back in the game. Go to counseling and find your way back to each other. "i'm just not happy" is not a good enough reason to get divorced.
2007-05-11 07:48:46 · answer #7 · answered by who-wants-to-know 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm lost here...........what are you trying to convince him of?
It could be that with a baby on the way, it causes stress and other issues.
The spark may come back once the baby is born, well not once, cause your going to be very tired and feel tied down.
I'd hate being or feeling I was married to my brother.
2007-05-11 07:47:28 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless both of you are going to try to make it work it is pointless. Both of you need to want it to work and be willing to put in the time and effort to make it work. Maybe things will change after the baby is born.
2007-05-11 07:58:17 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry sweetie.
I would recommend marriage counseling before throwing in the towel
2007-05-11 07:47:20 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋