Parents how many of you have had this happen with you daughter?

Question

I have a 16yr old neice who just broke up with the boyfriend her parents didn't want her to have in the first place. Not that they didn't like the boy, but thought her too young to be serious.
After dating 9 months she came to realize her school marks were suffering. She is very busy with the BL program in school, involved in band, youth group with church etc. She plans to go to University and decided she needed at this point in her life to concentrate on her future and school.
I applaud her and think this is so awesome.
Wouldn't you be proud of a young girl making such a decision, or do you think it more important she experience dating at this age? Just curious, oh and by the by, they are still friends and she is very popular.

Answer 1

You are rigth, she seems to be a very inteligent girl, i guess it has something to do with what she has learned and looked at her home and the family giving her the rigth to take her own decisions, that always give the young people that feeling of responsabily that is needed to really make good choices, i guess.
Is great you talking about her in this forum, since many girls and boys should take better care of their own lifes.
About what you say on the importance of dating at that age, i will tell you my own experience, i was very bad at dating, and i really didn't have a lot of boyfriends.
And i guess i was always taking care of college, education, and stuff like that, altougth i had lots of friends and really had a lot of fun at the time, yet.
I don't think that dating is so important, not at all at this days, when women have a lot of challenges, BESIDES the marriage and children, and i guess all of the experience that you gain at college, doing some good stuff for yourself, your comunitty, etc, gives you better tools to be a better wife, or life partner, and mother.
I now have a good job, i have a son, i'm not with his father anymore, but i have a commited relation with my boyfriend, my son is doing great, he is 11 now.
And i don't really miss to much not having so many boyfriends when i was young. you know.
I have a great life!

Answer 2

Okay. I don't necessarily think that having a boyfriend or friends in general preclude a young persons ability to do well educationally as long as it's managed properly. Do I think education at her age is more important that having social experiences that help her to learn how to relate to other people as an adult (including having a bf/gf relationship)? I really think that both are important and to assume that one is more important than the other is short sighted. How about keeping the boyfriend and learning some time management skills, which will be extremely useful in high school, college and beyond into her adult life.

Answer 3

My opinion, she made the right choice. Our girls didn't and won't date until age 16, then only in groups until 18. There is plenty of time for more serious relationships later. Besides how can you learn who you are if you're always part of a relationship? Girls and guys each need their youth to figure out what is best for them without the pressure of dating.

Answer 4

My youth leader is 24 and has never had a BF, she decided to wait till she is comfortable in the world before having someone else in her life.
I commend her for choosing her studies right now, I believe you should be well in the world before you try to plunge into the dating world.
I wish that i did that last year instead of making the choices I did.

Answer 5

She is very mature and I believe that school is more important then dating. She will have enough time to date later in life. But I would make sure that is a social person so make sure she has some free time to just hang with friends.

Wish her good luck in school and life.....both of which are very hard.

Answer 6

I am going through a similar thing with my 16 year old daughter. It is important for them to expericnce dating and heartache. But also to have the smarts to know that there are things more important as Church, school and getting things ready for college.

You do have to applude these young people.

Answer 7

I think that she did the right thing if it was affecting her schoolwork for the worse and she was really busy anyway.

It's good they're still mates as well - I'm actually quite impressed (Most couples find it really hard to stay friends after having dated).

I'd say don't pressuirse her any way and be glad that she's sensible enough to realise when things like that happen.

I personally think she should do what she likes within reason.

Answer 8

Dating is fun...but education is better. Seriously! I started taking college courses around 17 (although I still dated) while I was still in high school and it paid off! I did end up dropping out of high school but went back and graduated on time....I got ahead in college credits and got into University of Southern California going in as a sophmore. I am now 21 w/ my AA in International business and now working on my degree on my dream major Forensic Pathology........starting young...well worth it!

Answer 9

I am VERY proud of her for making this decision. I have a 16-year-old son myself and at this point he doesn't seem to be putting too much emphasis on school. Your niece sounds very mature.

Answer 10

Frankly this story is sort of boring. While we see a lot of "am I pregnant" teen questions on this site, many young women teens, can handle a boyfriend and do quite well/AWESOME in school. Why cant she do both. Theres probably more behind the break-up. Sometimes you just outgrow people.

Plus break-up for the summer doesnt seem to make as much sense as if she broke up with him in late August.